I will never stop talking about elmo saves christmas and halloween

 As we all know, in Elmo Saves Christmas, Elmo wishes for it to be Christmas every day. And then he sees that Christmas can't be every day because it interferes too much with regular life. But here's what I'll say. Here's what I think. 

Halloween could be every month. We could alter it slightly but more or less the tradition of dressing up and going around to get treats and goodies could be on the last day of every month and we'd be a better society for it. And yeah we could still go extra big for the Octoberween. 

But listen, it's not like the way we've got things set up now is perfect. Or even, good at all. Like, pretty much everyone agrees we need to make some changes. Why not start with Halloween every month? Why not? I guarantee you I would not get tired of wearing fun little costumes and giving out snacks to children. That builds a personal sense of identity and community. 

Make. Halloween. Every. Month.

Januween, Februween, Marween, Apriween, Mayween, Juneween, Julween, Augween, Septween, Halloween, Novemberween, Decemberween.

 

approaching something sacred

You have a formative experience running on certain roads and you go back to them and it feels like it touches something way way way deep down inside. Something very affirming and real.

updates on climbing and running

 HUGE progress on the project. Kinda crazy. First go of the day and got two or three moves from the top. Was really happy with that. Rested for about 10 minutes and tried again and was reaching for the finish hold! 

I guess I should've expected that I would become more efficient on the climb and that I would adjust to doing more moves somewhat quickly but I really thought I was a week or more from sending and then I almost did it! Unless I feel bad for some reason I'll expect to send it on Monday but at this point I'm not too stressed about it. I've done all the moves but the last one and I have about two and a half weeks to finish it. Very exciting.

One thing I did a lot of with this climb because it's so long and has a lot of moves was visualizing and rehearsing the climb in my mind. Usually at the end of the day. That was probably the main reason the first part went so quickly and I had more energy for the rest of the climb. It's definitely something I'll keep practicing.

Had a good rest of the session and continued to practice doing 10+ moves on steep. I feel pretty comfortable with power endurance and pushing myself because I think it's something that I've trained a lot with running.

Speaking of running! Broke 5 in the mile for 2023 so the streak is extended to 15 years. I knew I could do it but it was fun to run on the track at the same time my mom was working out and I'm happy with the effort I brought to it. The sun was brutal today! It truly felt like a hot summer day. 

Some days I break 5 because I start running and there's a lot of spring in my step and I know I can do it. Today was a day where I felt average and I did it because I knew I could will myself to do it. Both have their place. 

I went through the first 409 meters right around 75 or 76. I wanted a little bit faster but I felt okay. I tried to relax and came through half way in 2:33. Not an ideal place to be but I figured I might as well finish and see how close I can get. Pushed again for the third lap and came through 1209 in 3:47 and told myself to sprint the last lap. With 200 meters to go I was at about 4:21 so I was back on pace and still not fading. Emptied the tank for a 4:58.37. I ran the last 400 in about 70 or 71 which I'm really happy with. 

Got that checked off finally so I now I can have fine trying to get some Strava segments for the rest of the year. I'll probably run a mile again in November and December when I'm back in Harrisonburg for the holidays. I'd like to get the segment on Park Rd which will take about a sub 5 minute effort. 

Good two days of performance!

project update

 Good session today!

About a month ago I made some goals I wanted to accomplish before December and also the next Rumble. One of them was to flash all the purple and blue tapes on a set. Today I got every V4 and V5 on the newly graded wall first try! That was my goal to be completed by April so I guess I have to set a new goal. Or I can see how long of a streak I can keep going. I was really happy with it. I felt tense and was overgripping the holds and being really conscious about every move but that's probably how I'll be in a comp too so it's a good thing to practice.

After that I went over to the steep room where my project is and got from the low start to the high star/mid point first try! I was pretty excited about that. Then I rested a lot and tried to get from the 5th move to the finish. I got to about 3 moves below the finish but I'm still okay with that. I'm much more consistent on the early section now and now it's about having enough energy left to finish the climb. 

Then I did a bunch of the easier steeper climbs to try to build up some endurance and getting used to the feeling of being pumped and tired. 

None of this is interesting to anyone else but journaling helps build a positive mindset gosh darn it!

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Here's a spooky story:

One night, it was late and stormy and Andy made a smoothie. But it wasn't just any smoothie! It was a GHOST SMOOTHIE! Wooooo! OoooOOooOoo. The blender howled and whirled and then the ghost smoothie spilled out and over the blender and went through the floor down to Andy's downstairs neighbor Eric and the smoothie soaked into Eric's nice shag rug and haunt-stained it forever! OOooo! Scary!

Crime

 Crime. What is it? How does it work? What is to be done about it?

Here's an example of a crime. One time my sister lived in a place where she parked her car on the street. And then someone came along and was mad at her car for some reason and tried to destroy the rear driver side window with a can of green beans. They struck the window with the can, damaging the can but failing to break the window. Then they used a second can of green beans to destroy the window and fled the scene. 

This crime is an example of destruction of property via can of beans. This crime went unpunished and the green bean slammer was never caught. I don't know I kind of lost the thread on that one. Pretty crazy story though.

project update

 First off I was dehydrated which is not a great way to go into a session. That said, I was pretty close to reaching my goals. 

I wanted to be able to reach the finish from this toe hook move and I got my fingers on the last hold and held it for a second before falling off so basically did that. I think the whole climb is about 14 moves and I almost sent it from the 6th move. Which I guess is only a little before halfway but the first 4 moves are the easiest and go pretty fast. Move 5 and 6 are probably the two hardest and then it's pretty sustained to the finish on a steep angle. 

Anyway I also almost did my goal of getting from the start to halfway. I can get to move 6 pretty reliably but I couldn't quite get it. I found a good set up for the 5th move which I didn't really do last time so that was good progress. 

Also I was really smooth doing the 2nd half in isolation so overall some great progress. 

Next goal is to get from the start to halfway plus two moves. And also send the climb from the 5th move.

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The people who do the things to earn nuggets don't need the nugget. The people who only care about getting the nugget can't earn one.

 

101 zen koans

 I found this audiobook on youtube of 101 zen koans. They're like these mini stories that make you go "huh. hmmm"

I like the structure. They're almost like jokes. It's the same principle where they present you with a certain frame of reference and then they usually subvert it in some way at the very end but it's often not supposed to be funny.

If there was a camp zen koan it would go like this,

"There once was a boy who wanted to be great at gagaball. He joined every game but he had no natural aptitude for it and would almost always get out immediately. He never made it to the final two. He never even made it to the final three. By July he was very frustrated and he went to the great zen master who was sitting in the creek looking at a cool bug. 

The boy said, "How can I be great at gagaball?"

The master replied, "What is the nature of a gagaball winner?"

The boy thought for a second, "Cool?"

The master said, "The winner of a game of gagaball is the one with control."

The boy meditated on this for a long time. About twenty minutes. Then he awakened.

He joined the next round of gagaball and as soon it started he ran into the middle of the circle, grabbed the ball, and punted it over the fence into the woods where it was gone forever.

feeling resilient

 Something that causes me a little stress is having big time commitments or long days. In the past it's made me feel really tired and like I have to dig out of a hole to get back to baseline. Today I surprised myself though and had a really long day with not a lot of breaks and I kinda felt great the whole time. I was tired for sure but not a zombie tired. And so maybe that points to some kind of resilience and taking good care of myself that I can have a day like today and not feel totally disrupted. Pretty great.

Also I spent the day coaching and I'm so proud of all the climbers. They crushed it.

it's pretty fun being me

 i can't complain

steep room goals

 there's a good climb in the steep room right now that's a V6 that I know I can get. I can do it from halfway but the first part is kinda tricky and tiring. Today I worked all the moves and learned a lot about it. My next goal is to go from the start to halfway and also go from about a quarter of the way to the finish. Once I've done that then I should be able to do the whole thing so maybe in the next week or two. Yay! Having goals is fun.

here's a funny story I heard

 this girl I coach told me this story she said,

"Today, on the bus ride, this boy bet me twenty dollars that I couldn't make him laugh. And then later, I made him laugh. And I said, 'okay where's my twenty dollars?' And he said, 'We didn't shake on it.' And then later we were walking home and we made a new bet that if one person laughed they would have to give the other person twenty dollars. And we were almost home and I forgot about the bet and then I accidentally laughed. Except, I don't have twenty dollars. So I had to think of something to give him. Hmmmm, so I gave him a rocking chair because we have a rocking chair that my mom wanted to get rid of and he took it home."

Dwayne Michael Carter Jr once said

 I'm not an example for people on how to live their lives and never in my life would I ever set out to be an example for people on how to live their lives. If you need an example for how to live, then you just shouldn't have been born. Straight up.

Not entirely true but fun to think about

I don't want shiny new things

I hate shiny new things. They ruin everything. I want old dirty things that do their job.

Mulch. Celebrate mulch.

Wood. Wood is good.

Forks. Kinda shiny but definitely not new.

I don't want things to be better and more expensive. I want the things that already work fine to be optimized and cheaper.

I wanna do cool things I'm good at

 words to live by

language question

I think language is an end in itself. I started watching this video and this guy was being condescending and saying, "people can share their thoughts and feelings with another person using language." 

It's definitely not a false statement but I don't think language is just for sharing thoughts and feelings. And I think you could go a step further and say that language appears to be used for the purpose of sharing thoughts and feelings but that's not what's actually happening. Language is a generative game that is an innately human activity. We have to do language and as a result of that, thoughts and feelings are shared, sort of.

I really like this tweet and I think it better describes what language is

This first definition from the guy in the video makes it seem like language is a tool that we willingly use to serve our own ends. The second definition I think more accurately shows, through humor, how language is a powerful urge that isn't always rational. 

Why does it matter either way? I guess it doesn't but I think it's fun to think about.

movement

 I mentioned the bathroom sauna aka tub time aka put da space heater in the bathroom and I've been keeping up with that and I think it's really helpful. 

It's good to sit and do nothing for about an hour and just listen to music in the dark. Especially after being in a crowded place with a lot of interaction. Afterwards I feel relaxed but also ready to do a lot of things because I've had time to just sit and do nothing. 

It's also a good time to think thoughts and I remembered that the thing I love is the feeling of movement. That's what's underneath running and climbing and art and music and anything that's fun. A feeling of energy flowing and a state where the more you give the more you get back and everything is connected and good. That's what it's all about.

 One time I was like 19 and this girl that I sort of knew from high school had moved away and then come back to our hometown and I remember she said, "oh this area just has a way of pulling everyone back."

And as a 19 year old I thought that was a terrifying thing to say. I still think at its essence it's a creepy way to phrase it because at a very surface level it implies that the land has some sort of mysterious power that people can't escape from.

But no now has a 32 year old I'm like yeah that's fine it's a cool place. I wouldn't mind living there.

I sold Bitey!

 When I first moved into my apartment the unit two doors down from me had these angry looking monster squirrel made of plaster and foil and I looked at it every day. Then that person moved out and left the monster by the trash so I swiped it and painted it and last week finally brought it to the climbing gym and no one liked it and everyone who saw it was like, "please don't keep that. please make it go away." 

So I then I put it in the display case where we sell the chalk and clif bars and they said if anyone offered to buy Bitey they would sell it for any amount of money so last night at the end of practice I sold Bitey myself for a dollar to an awesome kid and they were really happy with their purchase.

long live Bitey, the no-eyed squirrel with human teeth

 Being yourself is the best kind of thing you can be because growing up my grandma would make me birthday cakes with coconut shavings and jelly beans on top and, chances are, you didn't have that experience so I guess you're stuck being yourself and having something other kind of cake. I truly wish you the best.

bathroom mini-sauna

I take a bath and bring a space heater into my bathroom and crank it full blast and listen to strfkr's first album. I sweat bullets and feel amazing.

Another one of Coach Andy's crazy stories

 Listen up. In life you can't just have anything you want whenever you want. Y'know if I want to climb the hardest climb in the gym today but I'm not strong enough to do it, then it's just not going to happen. Because I'm too weak. And if you pay close attention you'll notice that your own weakness and faults are often the source of your misery and futility. If you were better, things would be better. That's how I live my life every single day. 

On my bathroom mirror, written in red lipstick, is a list of all my faults and ways that I'm not good enough. And every morning I scream read them as loud as I can for all to here and then I set up removing them by becoming stronger. And the most important way to become stronger is to learn how to enter into the dream world and fight the demons of your mind using a lucid-dreaming avatar. 

So after screaming my faults I go back to sleep and enter into the endless Dream War of the unconscious and I've got barrels that I throw. Some of the barrels are heavy and they roll and flatten things they hit. And then others are lighter and bouncy and they knock back opponents. And then there's like flame barrels that explode and catch things on fire. And ice barrels that freeze things. There's a plasma barrel that does plasma. Standard stuff. And it's hordes and hordes of enemies the whole time and they're like "Ah! We're gonna get you this time! You'll have to give us kisses!" And I'm like "No way! Gross!" And I chuck a barrel at them. And then I wake up.

There you go. The recipe for successipe.

my latest project: pledge of the day

The Pledge of Allegiance and it's consequences have been disastrous for the pledge genre. Pledges are supposed to be a fun way to unify your gang of rascals and hooligans! Same words, same heart, same mind!

So I'm going to save the form single-handedly and write brand new pledges for the modern day. 

This is the Monday pledge.

Crawling in my skin

These wounds, they will not heal

Fear is how I fall

Confusing what is real

Look at that mountain

Look at those trees

Look at that bum over there, man, he's down on his knees

look at these humans

There ain't nothing like em' anywhere

I love Monday (we love it!)

I'm a competitive person

 I might go so far as to say that I'm an overly competitive person. I don't always manage it as well as I should and because of that I say some pretty ridiculous things sometimes without thinking about it.

But anyway a week ago we were doing this climbing game and there was a miscommunication  about where this climb we made up was supposed to end and this girl who I've coached for a few years now got really frustrated and said to another kid on the team, "Well I would've done it but that IDIOT told me the wrong thing." And she gestured at me when she said idiot. It made me feel bad and we talked about it and I asked her to apologize but in the back of my mind I knew like 'andy you've said similar things in competitive situations, and not just as a kid either but as a full grown adult'

Anyway the practice ended on this sour note but then today she was really nice and that was really gratifying and affirming. I feel like I do the same thing. Like, man, you messed up last time so you better really make an effort this time. And I could tell she was doing that. So that felt good. What a great kid. 

We're all humans trying to do human things.

I'm gonna rank every type of person I can think of for like 15 minutes

 people who make things: People who make things are like demi-gods amongst the earth. They transmute their life force energy into doodads and googaws and art and music and inventions and crafts and that's enriching the planet. That's improving the lives of everyone that encounters their creations. As long as it's from a place of creative joy. Or maybe joy is the wrong word. The creative urge. Yeah they're great.

people who listen and ask great questions: This is a rare and precious diamond of a person. They're simple carbon that has been hardened and had their molecules perfectly aligned in a crystalline matrix by a good upbringing and positive role models

vegetarians: aka people who don't eatsa the meatsa on the pizza. they're pretty cool

people who close: They're the last ones to leave. That's dedication. I think as a society we prioritize waking up early way too much. We know it's bad for us. We know most people aren't getting enough sleep. We know lack of sleep is killing us. And yet we valorize this self-destructive borderline criminal behavior. Go back to bed. People who close though. They get it. End on a strong note. Save the best for last.

people who use behaviors instead of their words: They're working on it. Or maybe they're not working on it. And maybe because of all the behaviors they keep pushing people away who could help them. It's like having a big ol stinky fart cloud around you all the time. Except the farts are behaviors. When you could use you words like saying "Excuse me". Or like soap. Words are like the soap of your reputation. 

people who drive too fast: slow down. stop being in a race to die. we're all gonna get there. no need to rush.

people who can whistle: people who can whistle peaked around 2010. and then later kid cudi made humming cool all by himself. humming is cool. humming is like the crayon drawing of music. humming is like hugging. think about this, remember that scene in kill bill where the one lady is dressed up as a nurse and she's walking to the room uma thurman is in and she's got that needle and twisted nerve is playing and it's got that scary whistling. imagine if that was humming. think about that.

I finally put up things on my walls

 it makes things a lot better. I should have done it sooner instead of waiting like 15 months. I'll take pictures tomorrow.

Today was good. I'm not sick anymore and I felt good on my run. Put up some art and stickers at the climbing gym.

If I could go a whole month without getting sick that would be fantastic.

the eternal recurrence of the same

 shoe mountain chalk nuggets snail slime

shoe mountain is the mountain of rental shoes that gets sprayed and put away every night. only to return again.

chalk nuggets are the reward for doing a challenging climb or trying something you were scared to do. but most kids when they learn about it just try to game the system and earn a nugget for something that wasn't very hard. 

snail slime is the substance my feet produce that no longer make me able to use toe hooks when climbing

i reject cartesian dualism

there's some food smell in my apartment right now and it makes me want to throw up

I think it's coming in through the windows

I saw some plants and the side of the path and thought of Isaiah 15:3 in the streets they wear sackcloth; on the roofs and in the public squares they all wail, prostrate with weeping

I think I was too close to my essential oils and they created an ulcer in the back of my throat

I was sooooooo gassy today

and the dogs and the frogs and the logs and the wogs and the togs and nogs and rogs and sogs and cogs and hogs and jogs and zogs all glowed

glowing like the knots of dead red grasses that choke the marsh under the bridge in the light of the earliest sunset of October