Wednesday, July 29, 2026

we were in the woods with camp the other day

 A boy I coach said, "Andy! Come over here and look at this!"

And I went over expecting to see like a cool rock or a frog or a snake or some berries or something and he was pointing down at the ground and my eyes were scanning all around and he said, "Look at the flowers."

And they were the tiniest little pink and purple flowers at the end of these long thin wisps. He said, "they're beautiful."

Dang. Got me in my feels. What a guy.

Sunday, July 26, 2026

 yeah so outside is mostly safe. those clouds up there will stay up there. sometimes, very rarely, trees can fall over but that's really unlikely. basically it's safe to be outside. try not to get too much sun. that can be bad. But like mostly it's safe and you don't have to worry about anything.

Oh yeah but sometimes a bolt of light hotter than the Sun will come out of the clouds and explode anything it touches and it makes the loudest noise you've ever heard in your life. 

so watch out for that.

Wednesday, July 22, 2026

the little crab visits me

 the little crab

but a sad italian boy

he knocks on my door

his face is distraught

tears smeared across his face section

"Andy! Andy! O! It is terrible

I read your blog about grass and whether moving is any good.

I go to streets to hear what the people have to say.

The people

they say nothing.

I ask,

'Do you think moving is any good?'

They look at me like I am crazy.

Yours is a wind that does not blow the leaves upon the trees."

I say

"Now now dear crab.

The wind that blows the leaves upon the trees reeks of bird vomit.

But see the wind that moves the clouds?

Far away. Unknowable. Unfelt.

But moving all the same."

The crab say,

"Oh! Now I understand. Yours is the wind that blows the clouds!"

I say,

"No. No. No not at all. I'm like one of those little fans bus drivers have that just blow on them."

Tuesday, July 21, 2026

you ever think about what it's like to be grass

 you just stay in one spot all day

with your buds

so much stuff doesn't move around

all I'm saying is

I'm not sold on moving around

it could be a mistake

let's just see how it all plays out

I'm not a gambling man by nature but this was forced on me

by my own parents no less

Sunday, July 19, 2026

the 20 rib eyes for $39 truck

 this is true.

from my window, I have seen a large box truck driving around and adorned on its side in massive letters is 20 RIB EYES FOR $39 with pictures of said rib eye steaks.

people love to comment on videos of caves and cavers "this is optional btw"

as if optional things didn't give life purpose

as if a life bereft of optional things is worth living at all

well it sure is awful dangerous

WOE!

Woe unto the man that lives his life out of necessity and safety for he is not a man at all but a worm and an insult to wormkind at that!

I salute you 20 rib eyes for $39 truck

not only for your value

but for your value

the axiom of the universe

because it can it must

because it can it must

Saturday, July 18, 2026

one of these days

but never 

two of these days

or

three of these days

or

four of these days

Fermat's Last Theorem states that are no three positive integers x, y, and z that satisfy the equation x^n + y^n = z^n for any integer value of n greater than 2.

In other words, the Pythagorean Theorem, a^2 + b^2 = c^2 doesn't apply to higher exponent numbers. There is no way to make a^3 + b^3 = c^3.

In Goodstein's Only Theorem, there is no number n (greater than 1) that makes the phrase n of these days make sense.