scuttling cruttling
scuttling cruttling
the crab who pinches and snips
scuttling cruttling
scuttling cruttling
the crab who pinched a thousand ships
a crab in a bottle
a crab in the house
a crab full throttle
a crab fights a mouse
scuttling cruttling and doodly duddling
every crab has his day
skitter and scatter and tickety tatter
the crab
the crab
the crab
commander and leader
enchanté
it's a blue evening
the engine in the distance
leaves in the wind
why not take a heaping spoonful of black pepper
straight down the gullet
live a little
time unwinds in a cool blue line
always pointing ahead
to where one never arrives
if only a bracing spoonful of freshly ground black pepper
could shake things up
my my my
what a rush that would be
in a dogwood tree
visible from the window
lies a nest hidden
by musty white flowers
boy oh boy
could I over go for a piping hot spoonful of pepper
send my sinuses into overdrive
send my taste buds to the moon
on a pleasant calm blue evening
I love that for some people the word 'best' can mean 'something they think is very good' and for other people the word 'best' can't even be used at all. Nothing of the world can truly rise to the level of 'best'.
People who never use best think that people who use best for things they like are frivolous agents of chaos. They only live to disrupt the natural order of the universe. You can't just call something 'the best' and not even mean it. Oh is that your 'best friend'? Is that the 'best meal you've ever had'? Yeah and what if money was just worth whatever we felt like. If we have no fixed points of meaning then we're adrift in a sea of nothingness. The 'best' is a standard by which all other things are judged and it's not something we can just toss around in place of 'pretty good'. In short, you shouldn't be trusted with anything and your words are the honks and squawks of madness itself.
People who like using 'best' think that people who never use best are just a quivering husk. If all you do is wait for the perfect opportunity you'll have spent all your time waiting, missed the opportunity, and pass through this life too afraid to touch anything. What good is an ideal to the flesh and the bone? Grab the world. Break things. You'll never hit a dinger if all you fear is the swing and miss. We know there is no 'best'. You're not special for being a strict literalist. What persists in life are moments of feeling and words should serve to describe that.
the first thing to be described as big
an age old mystery
some might say
the biggest mystery of all
the biggystery of all
my vote?
egg
one bite will kill you dead
two bites will bring you back to life
three bites will make you go crazy
four bites will make you a
gnawed on scrap of old dusty
beef leather draped over the
banister of rickety crooked
stairs that lead halfway up
and halfway down to nowhere--
three fiends sloughed off
your sorry withered hide into
abyss but there was no
fall. it was a very short drop to
where you were.
those are the bite rules.
---------------------------
this is a poem about how growing up there would be kids who would just confidently tell you rules to things. I guess because they learned about the concept of rules and like, cause and effect. But, you know me, a sucker for serious nonsense.
one time, I'll never forget this, a kid told me (who was also a kid) with a straight face, completely serious,
"did you know? if you can draw a perfect circle, you're the smartest person in the world. but if you draw the circle backwards, you're the dumbest person in the world."
And I remember hearing that and knowing it probably wasn't true but also thinking, "Hmm yeah I guess that makes sense."
one day we learned about Pope Leo X
who said,
"God has given us the papacy, let us enjoy it."
upon hearing this
my friend Chad said,
"God has given us the Chad, let us enjoy it."
doesn't it feel like
there should be reverse rain?
I don't understand how water moves.
we should put all the water in a giant truck.
and drive it around to everyone who needs it.
which is everyone all the time.
and the trucker is incorruptible.
they are our hero.
our hopes and dreams rest on the truck scheme.
one person to bear the burden of all the wetness.
I believe in the water trucker.
