I found out today that on Thursday a bunch of teenagers from the YMCA are going to the climbing gym so my plan is to tell my crew of decidedly younger campers that we're going to challenge them to a climbing competition and watch in amazement as these much smaller kids all out-climb them.

my mom digitized our home movies

 I have a link to them and I've started watching them and I really want to watch them but I have this really strong feeling that I'm going to cry if I watch them. Not that I'm sad. I just get too sentimental about them. In a similar way to how I cry watching sports where someone is trying really hard.

But I do want to watch them. 

I found this video of my sixteenth birthday and immediately I seem obnoxious. Like an unpleasant person to be around. It's gross. If I could go back in time I'd say 'stop being a butt.'

But I'm going to try to watch this with compassion.

I'm sorry, Erin. I'm so sorry.

I don't know it's so hard to watch because I have this sarcastic attitude like I'm not enjoying any of it but I know I'm embarrassed and uncomfortable with my emotions. 

I'm burping. Oh jeez. This is terrible. 

I called my sister and apologized.

I also apologize to Maw Maw and Paw Paw.

A heartfelt thanks to my wonderful Mom for recording this moment. In all seriousness. It gives me a lot of empathy and understanding for giving a teenage child space to be a turd and try to figure out all their stuff. It's tough.

I probably would've learned a lot about myself sooner if I'd watched that clip.

I suppose I miss singing the songs

first year in ten years that I haven't been singing songs

maybe I'll start some up again

I can always keep going

 for I am made of keep going

roofball

anytime you make up a game is a good day

it feels good to be outside trying my best

 I like what I do and I do what I like.

we go cool places