do you think we know when the line "get your filthy paws off me" was first said in popular media?

 Oh. duh.

Charlton Heston said "take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape." in Planet of the Apes.

duh.

But then you look and they clearly have hands

 So that line was really uncalled for.

There's a lot of things that were said and done in the past that we in the present have to make amends for. 

And a lot of things being done in the present right now that the future will have to make amends for.

Maybe we can start--I have the microphone that can speak to all of humanity at once--maybe we can start by acknowledging that this man was under extreme fictional duress and he didn't really mean what he said in that moment. I don't know if they circle back to it later in the movie. I haven't seen it.

your mind is so powerful

 your human brain is so incredibly strong.

never forget that.

imagine anything.

point your imagination ray at anything and watch it transform.

a powerful beam of imagination 

scattering across the sky

to strike all the butter

and call them forth

to coalesce into a giant sphere

that towers over the skyline

the butter orb

hurtling across the filament

I mean

the firmament

to do cosmic battle 

with your greatest sadness

that bubbles up smoking

fumes that take the shape of

balled eagles

I was coaching today and a kid farted and a kid smelled it and said

 "Ew somebody tooted."

And this girl standing next to her goes, cool as anything, "It was probably me. Even though I didn't do it."

And then dropped down to sit on the mats.

I've never in my entire life seen a better way to diffuse that situation before. 

"It was probably me. Even though I didn't do it."

With all the confidence in the world.

Unreal.

 I was talking to someone recently about political caricature and I brought up the idea that humor and sarcasm and irony are good at exposing truths about institutions and established power but that you can't build something useful out of them. And the person I was talking to said that laughter can still be cathartic and useful to help people manage.

It's hard for me to disagree but I don't feel like laughter is helpful at this point in time. Removed from context, Trump is hilarious. On some level, we've been laughing at him the whole time. But it doesn't stop him in any way. 

Patton Oswalt had a joke about the end of the Bush administration where he said people would come up to him and say "Oh man, you comedians are in trouble now that Bush isn't president. You aren't going to have anything to talk about." And he responds

Imagine for the last 8 years there were demons just flying around in the sky and they would randomly swoop down and sodomize people. And I wrote ten killer minutes about the sodomy demons and then the Pope banished them to another dimension and people go 'boy Patton you really miss those sodomy demons'

Much like senseless demons, Trump is formless. He's a void. He doesn't stand for anything. And I feel like the best way to build something is to be sincere. 

Not that humor doesn't have a place--I just feel like in my lifetime we've been in a golden age of political humor and things are terrible. If political humor actually did anything, why are things like this?

ode to the Mets but it's just 'up on his horse, up on his horse' for all the lyrics

dude

 dude

what

oh

I thought

yeah

no I just

ok

That was a poem about a guy who when he was four met a frog wizard and the frog wizard said in ten years I'm going to sneak up behind you and slap you and if you catch me you get a thousand frog dollars and if you don't you get slapped and tough break kid and the kid tried his hardest to remember but then he forgot and wasn't sure about the day and time anymore and then he got got.

reading back my old posts

from 14 years ago

I always feel

like I did too much

but now I don't