big? compared to what?

 the first thing to be described as big

an age old mystery

some might say

the biggest mystery of all

the biggystery of all

my vote?

egg

the bite

 one bite will kill you dead

two bites will bring you back to life

three bites will make you go crazy

four bites will make you a

gnawed on scrap of old dusty

beef leather draped over the

banister of rickety crooked

stairs that lead halfway up

and halfway down to nowhere--

three fiends sloughed off

your sorry withered hide into

abyss but there was no

fall. it was a very short drop to

where you were.

those are the bite rules.

---------------------------

this is a poem about how growing up there would be kids who would just confidently tell you rules to things. I guess because they learned about the concept of rules and like, cause and effect. But, you know me, a sucker for serious nonsense.

one time, I'll never forget this, a kid told me (who was also a kid) with a straight face, completely serious,

 "did you know? if you can draw a perfect circle, you're the smartest person in the world. but if you draw the circle backwards, you're the dumbest person in the world."

And I remember hearing that and knowing it probably wasn't true but also thinking, "Hmm yeah I guess that makes sense."

a poem about the only thing I still remember from AP European History

 one day we learned about Pope Leo X

who said,

"God has given us the papacy, let us enjoy it."

upon hearing this

my friend Chad said,

"God has given us the Chad, let us enjoy it."

a poem about the rain

 doesn't it feel like

there should be reverse rain?

I don't understand how water moves.

we should put all the water in a giant truck.

and drive it around to everyone who needs it.

which is everyone all the time.

and the trucker is incorruptible.

they are our hero.

our hopes and dreams rest on the truck scheme.

one person to bear the burden of all the wetness.

I believe in the water trucker.

the two things I was bad at in school as a kid

 spelling and math.

I remember I got an F on a spelling test in like 4th grade once. And I realized I had to study to not fail. And I was bad at math for a lot longer. Until like 10th grade.

It was because I wasn't open to the possibility of being wrong about the answer I got. There was no check in place. I'd spell the word however I thought it should be spelled and wouldn't question it. Or I'd do mental math and get it wrong and not question it. 

One of my least favorite qualities in a person is someone who consistently says these with confidence that are factually wrong. Like how I was in spelling and math. 

At some point the education system beat it out of me. It said, 'you are fallible. stop believing everything you think. have oversight on this stuff.'

And I think that's a good quality.

have you ever tended to someone else's obsession?

 what a trip right?

these tasks that give someone else so much purpose and fulfillment and meaning and to you it's toil and tedious.

how's that work?

spell check doesn't think that I can abbreviate "how does" into how's. 

Oh I'm sorry Blogger maybe you haven't heard of the popular TV show that started in 2002 called 'How's that Work' that explains how stuff works.

my sister is a pharmacist!

 yay Erin! good job! proud of you!!