I wrote this 10 years ago (some edits)

A small bedroom with a large window on the eastern wall. The view of the moon is partially obscured by the limbs of red cedar trees. Two twin beds with matching blue and white striped sheets are in the center of the room. A nightstand with a lamp sits between the beds. The lamp is on. McMurtry is underneath the covers of the bed on the left, farthest from the door. He is wearing button-down pajamas with blue and white stripes. The same blue and white stripes as the bed sheets. He also has a blue and white striped stocking cap. He yawns deeply. Kimbrough enters the room and approaches McMurtry's bed wearing identical pajamas and stocking cap. Kimbrough places his hand on McMurtry's forehead to pull back the stocking cap enough to place a tender kiss on McMurtry's forehead.

Kimbrough: Goodnight, McMurtry.

McMurtry: Goodnight, Kimbrough.

Kimbrough tucks in the sheets and blankets around McMurtry. Kimbrough climbs into his own bed and turns off the lamp. After several seconds of darkness, McMurtry turns on the lamp and approaches Kimbrough's bed. He repeats the exact same routine that Kimbrough has just performed. Kiss on the forehead, tuck in the covers, turn off the lamp.

McMurtry: Goodnight, Kimbrough.

Kimbrough: Goodnight, McMurtry.

McMurtry flops onto his own bed, on top of the covers. He writhes on his back in discomfort before peeling off the top of his button down pajamas to reveal his stained undershirt. He tosses the pajama shirt on top the lamp and snores loudly.

After several seconds, Kimbrough exits his bed and places yet another kiss on McMurtry's forehead.

Kimbrough: Goodnight, McMurtry.

McMurtry snores.

Kimbrough flops face down onto his own bed and tears off his pajama shirt. His undershirt is similarly stained. His sheets and blankets are in utter disarray and halfway on the floor. Kimbrough, eyes closed and muttering incomprehensibly, wraps the shirt around his fist and smashes the lamp. It falls to the ground and shatters.

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This is pretty good! I was reading it and I was like 'this ain't bad!' I don't know. I like it. 

 One thing that's been really gratifying in this new year of coaching is that all of the kids who started last year and are returning this year have made huge improvements. They move with so much more confidence on the wall and it's highlighted by the kids who are just starting out. It's not just in climbing but also in the movement work we do on the mats with jumping and running too. 

It's surprising (or maybe not surprising at all) how kids who are not comfortable on the wall are also not comfortable doing things like jumping over mats. Moving their body around in space in novel ways. I know there are people, and even other kids, who look at bear crawls and shuttle runs and hurdling over mats as like 'oh that's a fun thing to do for the little kids' or even 'this is embarrassing/just filling time' but I believe 100% that if a kid/person isn't comfortable doing basic athletic movements like running and jumping on flat ground, it's a little crazy to even ask them to climb at all. I think a common mistake adults make is not understanding where kids actually are (physically, emotionally, mentally, etc). Some things look really simple and trivial but are clearly a challenge for some kids and if they don't develop there first, they won't progress in other areas. 

Some examples:

-hopping on one foot three to four times over some low boundaries (some kids have to work really hard to not switch to their other foot)

-shuttle run. kids have to run back and forth while picking up and/or dropping bean bags (kids have to retain a series of instructions while managing moving as fast as possible and starting and stopping and changing directions)

-jumping over a ~2ft tall mat/hurdle from a crouch position (anything that makes a kid stop and calculate what they're about to do is gold in my book. if you have to download a new set of instructions for your body and then execute that move while being unsure of the outcome--that's climbing. that's the essence of climbing)

I was a not-very-good coach for like my first 3 years but I think existing in that chaos taught me what things actually matter and the structure that I've developed is to address those needs. 

I don't think Liberty Mutual wants to sell you car insurance

there's no way.

there's just no way.

there's no possible way they want to sell you car insurance that badly. 

what they want to do

is interrupt my going-to-sleep youtube video so I have to turn the screen back on and hit 'skip'

and I will never forgive them for that

there's no way

tryna go fast

 

asking the right questions

 What would it look like if I really tried to be great at coaching?

so I'll remove the cause by not the symptom

I've been thinking a lot about Tim Curry and today I looked up how old he was when he did the film version of Rocky Horror Picture show and he was like 29. 

I was watching 'Sweet Transvestite' and his presence is incredible. For my money, if aliens or dinosaurs or robots came to me and asked, 'what's the point of film?', I would say, "the point of film was to render Tim Curry's performance of Sweet Transvestite in Rocky Horror Picture Show.' We did it. We won.

That's the big problem. We don't say, 'We did it. We won.' enough. Brennan Lee Mulligan has the Oreo CEO video that says it better than I can but so many things have already succeeded to the highest degree that they can. And yet we keep going. We went to the Moon. We filmed Tim Curry. We wrote Shakespeare. We recorded What a Fool Believes. We invented the grapefruit. We won. 

You can't strive when you've already won. You have to do something else?

What's that, you ask?

Oh I don't know how about dwell?

That's right. You had no idea it's another dwell propaganda post. Dwelling will save us. 

this is one of my favorite written pieces of all time

 BALK RULES! IMPORTANT!

1. You can't just be up there and just doin' a balk like that.

1a. A balk is when you

1b. Okay well listen. A balk is when you balk the

1c. Let me start over

1c-a. The pitcher is not allowed to do a motion to the, uh, batter, that prohibits the batter from doing, you know, just trying to hit the ball. You can't do that.

1c-b. Once the pitcher is in the stretch, he can't be over here and say to the runner, like, "I'm gonna get ya! I'm gonna tag you out! You better watch your butt!" and then just be like he didn't even do that.

1c-b(1). Like, if you're about to pitch and then don't pitch, you have to still pitch. You cannot not pitch. Does that make any sense?

1c-b(2). You gotta be, throwing motion of the ball, and then, until you just throw it.

1c-b(2)-a. Okay, well, you can have the ball up here, like this, but then there's the balk you gotta think about.

1c-b(2)-b. Fairuza Balk hasn't been in any movies in forever. I hope she wasn't typecast as that racist lady in American History X.

1c-b(2)-b(i). Oh wait, she was in The Waterboy too! That would be even worse.

1c-b(2)-b(ii). "get in mah bellah" -- Adam Water, "The Waterboy." Haha, classic...

1c-b(3). Okay seriously though. A balk is when the pitcher makes a movement that, as determined by, when you do a move involving the baseball and field of

2. Do not do a balk please.

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I can't read it out loud without laughing every three words. It's delightful.