today I learned about professional wrestler, Ryusuke Taguchi

 AKA Masked Horse

His origin story is that he was abandoned by his parents and raised by horses. Then, he was abandoned by those horses and raised by a professional wrestler.

And isn't that really the story of everyone's lives? At some point you move out and leave your parents and work and/or live for some thing and then eventually you have to leave that thing and be with some other third thing. 

Baker Mosquito: guy who was taken in by mosquitoes and then abandoned and taken in by Baker mosquitoes.

Croc Fisher: Guy who was used as bait for gator fishing gets eaten by gator and ends up fishing for gator bait in gator's stomach.

Whale Salesman: Guy who sells whales ends up being sold to whales to sell guys to other whalesman.

Bird Porch: Guy builds a porch for birds on his regular porch but the birds build a bigger porch on the bird porch and rebrand his porch the man porch.

Italian Werewolf: Guy is bit by an Italian and cast out from society for his transformation and falls in with a werewolf commune who use him to help invade the were-italian base.

I met a woman today who was mad about the state of the world

 but she also wanted to be mad. she would've been mad no matter what state the world was in.

I am sometimes reminded by the world that you can never go 'full bitter'.

opera used car salesman

I just saw this video of this guy standing in front of a Corvette at a used car lot and pitching it while singing opera

this used corvette

it was a dream to drive

it can be yours

for the small price

come here now

ask for Andrew

It was really good, the guy can actually sing. And it's funny because of the contrast and all. And someone in the comments was like 'Shame that this guy has to sell used cars instead of singing.'

Which is true and I agree BUT, at the same time, it is also absolutely true that if that guy was just straight up singing opera in a opera house, opera-style that same person wouldn't care. Not nearly as many people would care. 

It's why T-Pain sang with auto tune even though he can actually sing well. No one cares about another guy who can sing well.

It's why I put paintings on craigslist free stuff. 

The juxtaposition is more important than the parts themselves.

Don't be a big fish in a small pond. Or a small fish in a big pond. 

Be the right fish in the wrong pond. 

what do you want to run a business?

 you want to run a multi-national corporation? or be in charge of a bank or large sums of money and assets? Is that your aspiration in life? To command respect and power through capital? To exploit the weak and people who have enough sense to know that they have to share this planet with everyone and to take what they need and be grateful for what they have? None of that appeals to you? Your just want to grow and grow like a tumor and have conspicuous wealth and bankrupt the environment and make the world a worse place for everyone who comes after? You want to fill with pus like a festering sore and create the conditions for atrocities to take place on the daily like a well-oiled machine? Constant growth is an aberration. And its fruits are on display for all to see. 

Assembling Raw Data into a Storyline

 I run the climbing league at the gym and the main challenge is taking the data from the climbs people do and converting that into points and then taking those points and crafting a story out of it. You want people to be invested and excited about the outcome. There's not much inherently exciting about it because you don't see the action as its happening. It's like narrating a sporting event where you only ever see the scores instead of the home runs or touchdowns or alley-oops themselves. 

And so as part of that narrative I've crafted a persona as a fraught and capricious commissioner who is fast and loose with wielding his authority and intentionally stirs the pot. I try to incite as much drama as possible because the worst thing people can be is bored.

The problem is when people want to participate in the bit and accost me and call into question the validity of the whole operation and do the very same dramatic narrative crafting that I'm trying to do but I get overwhelmed and defensive and, on the whole, too sensitive about it.

But that's okay. 

The test of a true rabble-rouser is that even he grows to fear the rabble he hath roused.

what did I make on this day in 2015?

 

I made this comic when I was 23 years old, in the middle of student teaching which I often tell people was the worst time in my life but at least I made this comic. 

mark my words

 I will do my taxes this year. As I have done every year since I was born.

And I will bring you along for the ride.

What new awful things will TurboTax do this year? 

Stay tuned and find out.

Vote in the comments for when you think I should do my taxes.

The top comment will be considered unless I don't want to do my taxes that day. 

I'll negotiate with the top comment for when I do my taxes. And then ridicule or ignore the lower comments.