bumpus scraw

ringdingling merjerity

burface munion

kerlaptropy wheeznorts

stunbottom mottobnuts

purple eleven

mastle hilarious

cued hegemonicanizer

plafid blurnton

misted lane

obonotched giddididdi

you think anyone's seriously looking into inventing a shrink ray?

 And I know. You're like, "No. That's a bad idea. Why would anyone look into that?"

But, it would be pretty cool. And you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. You're telling me we don't have a single person assigned to Shrink Ray Technology? 

Oh no all the time energy and money's gotta go to surveillance camera and the robot that pretends to have a brain

Would it really hurt anyone to work on the shrink ray?

garden cucumbers and tomatoes are unmatched

 it's like tasting in 3D

It reminds me of the immortal Peggy Hill quote, "If this is food, what have we been eating?"

I'm big into chia seed water right now

 I like the slime.

It's the closest society will let me get to drinking pond water.

The nutritional powerhouse of guzzling frog eggs.

here's a million dollar idea

 big cake.

it's not just a big cake.

it's a crumb. like a single crumb of a cake. but that crumb is the size and weight of a wedding cake. 

suggesting an artifact from an impossibly large cake of a time long forgot not unlike the dinosaurs of yore

Bruce Lee famously feared the man who practiced one punch a thousand times.

Here are some other things Bruce Lee feared.

A big clock with a boxing glove on the end of the second hand and every time it ticks it also punches you.

A bunch of bats flying together in the shape of a fist that punches you.

A special fruit called punch fruit that has edible seeds but the seeds are actually little fists and when you eat them they punch your insides.

A guy with two fists on one arm so every time he punches you he's double punching you.

A bunch of birds flying together in the shape of a fist that punches you.

A bunch of fish swimming together in the shape of a fist that punches you when you're underwater.

His older brother, specifically after his older brother trained a bunch of mosquitoes to fly together in the shape of a fist that punches you and sucks your blood also.

A punch called the dehydration punch that can punch all the water out of you.

An overly large cigarette with a fist on the end of it and when someone smokes it and exhales the smoke it sends out of a bunch of smoke fists that punch you.

A punch car that punches you.

Being held down and punched by a bunch of angry dudes that are good at punching.

Those are the other things Bruce Lee feared that they won't teach you about in school. You can find more stuff like this in my upcoming book.

the invaluable understrapper of the wicked man

 "Picked and prudent sentiments. You are the moderate man, the invaluable understrapper of the wicked man. You, the moderate man, may be used for wrong, but are useless for right."

Herman Melville with some absolute heat