my sister is a pharmacist!

 yay Erin! good job! proud of you!!

hypocrisy

one thing I've become really ardent about is teaching the kids I coach how to properly greet people when you walk into a space. the words themselves don't really matter but it's letting everyone in the space know that you acknowledge them and see them and are entering with good intentions. there's really not a lot of upside to it but you really don't want to deal with the downsides.

and then I enter a space and people greet me and ask me how my day is going and I think ohmygod why are you asking me all these questions I day is going just let me exist please

And actually I think that's great and having those thoughts makes the ritual all the more important. It's like it's banishing the Me-Spiral-Demons.

I think true goodness exists for its own sake. Nietzsche said that goodness and virtue is an overflowing. It's an overabundance of itself. But decency is a response to a darker nature. Maybe. You could make the argument against it. 

at the dentist

 I was sitting in the chair at the dentist and they had the monitor up where I could see it so I was reading my patient notes and at the bottom it said

"patient is nice."

And I was like "LET'S GO!!" 

Right? Because they don't have to say that. I earned it.

And I do think that what matters, like, the thing that continues to persist in a meaningful way, is how you make people feel. Above everything else. 

And I got officially secret told by my dentist that I'm nice.

gold star for me.

 Have you ever seen a video where someone leaves some candy or food for an ant to discover and the ant gets really excited and goes back to the colony to tell all the other ants about the food and when the ant comes back to it the human has taken the food away? And then usually the voice over is something like "they'll never believe you. hahahaha. they'll never believe you."

Well I have. And I like to think of myself as an ant in relation to the larger world and yesterday I lost my favorite quarter zip that I like for running and working out when it's colder and I looked all over my apartment and then I went to the track with the slightest bit of hope that I could had left it there over a week ago or something. I was not confident that it would still be there. In the corner of the track was a garment that looked just like mine from a distance but up close it wasn't it. So I gave up and went about my business and then I happened to look at the top of the stairs and see another long sleeve shirt looking thing and it was mine! Wow. What a happy ant I was. In both small and large undeniable ways you are at the mercy of forces beyond your control and you gotta celebrate victories when you can.

I know that laugh

 The other week I was at my friend's softball game and these sisters whose mom was playing were running around and playing chase or tag or whatever. And the other older sister was trying to catch the younger sister and the younger one ran past her and just barely got out of the way at full speed and she did this kind of maniacal laugh like "wahahahaha!" 

And I know that laugh. That is the you can't catch me laugh at full speed. I've done that laugh. That's like a universal laugh. 

rating how appropriate it is to state your mental or physical state out loud

"I'm hungry"- this one is pretty appropriate. but it loses its effectiveness and appropriateness the more you repeat it. also, letting people know that you're hungry is a good way to give context to any other behaviors or feelings you might be having. so that's pretty good.

"I'm full of murderous rage and intent."- this one is not very appropriate. if you're full of murderous rage and intent you should probably say something more socially acceptable like "I'm hungry" and then in a very quiet voice, "--for murder"

why is my sister going to czechia?

 because my sister's husband's sister's husband's sister's husband lives there. and is rich.