doesn't it feel like
there should be reverse rain?
I don't understand how water moves.
we should put all the water in a giant truck.
and drive it around to everyone who needs it.
which is everyone all the time.
and the trucker is incorruptible.
they are our hero.
our hopes and dreams rest on the truck scheme.
one person to bear the burden of all the wetness.
I believe in the water trucker.
spelling and math.
I remember I got an F on a spelling test in like 4th grade once. And I realized I had to study to not fail. And I was bad at math for a lot longer. Until like 10th grade.
It was because I wasn't open to the possibility of being wrong about the answer I got. There was no check in place. I'd spell the word however I thought it should be spelled and wouldn't question it. Or I'd do mental math and get it wrong and not question it.
One of my least favorite qualities in a person is someone who consistently says these with confidence that are factually wrong. Like how I was in spelling and math.
At some point the education system beat it out of me. It said, 'you are fallible. stop believing everything you think. have oversight on this stuff.'
And I think that's a good quality.
what a trip right?
these tasks that give someone else so much purpose and fulfillment and meaning and to you it's toil and tedious.
how's that work?
spell check doesn't think that I can abbreviate "how does" into how's.
Oh I'm sorry Blogger maybe you haven't heard of the popular TV show that started in 2002 called 'How's that Work' that explains how stuff works.
one thing I've become really ardent about is teaching the kids I coach how to properly greet people when you walk into a space. the words themselves don't really matter but it's letting everyone in the space know that you acknowledge them and see them and are entering with good intentions. there's really not a lot of upside to it but you really don't want to deal with the downsides.
and then I enter a space and people greet me and ask me how my day is going and I think ohmygod why are you asking me all these questions I day is going just let me exist please
And actually I think that's great and having those thoughts makes the ritual all the more important. It's like it's banishing the Me-Spiral-Demons.
I think true goodness exists for its own sake. Nietzsche said that goodness and virtue is an overflowing. It's an overabundance of itself. But decency is a response to a darker nature. Maybe. You could make the argument against it.
I was sitting in the chair at the dentist and they had the monitor up where I could see it so I was reading my patient notes and at the bottom it said
"patient is nice."
And I was like "LET'S GO!!"
Right? Because they don't have to say that. I earned it.
And I do think that what matters, like, the thing that continues to persist in a meaningful way, is how you make people feel. Above everything else.
And I got officially secret told by my dentist that I'm nice.
gold star for me.
Have you ever seen a video where someone leaves some candy or food for an ant to discover and the ant gets really excited and goes back to the colony to tell all the other ants about the food and when the ant comes back to it the human has taken the food away? And then usually the voice over is something like "they'll never believe you. hahahaha. they'll never believe you."
Well I have. And I like to think of myself as an ant in relation to the larger world and yesterday I lost my favorite quarter zip that I like for running and working out when it's colder and I looked all over my apartment and then I went to the track with the slightest bit of hope that I could had left it there over a week ago or something. I was not confident that it would still be there. In the corner of the track was a garment that looked just like mine from a distance but up close it wasn't it. So I gave up and went about my business and then I happened to look at the top of the stairs and see another long sleeve shirt looking thing and it was mine! Wow. What a happy ant I was. In both small and large undeniable ways you are at the mercy of forces beyond your control and you gotta celebrate victories when you can.
