Cuz she thought I was a girl. And I didn't need to get in to the details of how I am not a girl. Even though I just took a pee test while standing up
which
as we all know
is the most manliest way to take a pee test. No doubt about it.
But I decided to spare her and her impressionable child the confusion and continue to keep my hair obscuring my face.
That's when the Mom asked, "Can you explain to him how the hand brakes work? He's very curious."
Okay! I can do this! without talking...
So while hiding my face from the mother I proceed to pantomime and explain how handbrakes work through expressive hand gestures while the mother narrates the process to her son.
The strange thing was I started getting into it! Me and the Mom made a pretty good team, like Pat and Vanna! I can be pretty expressive when I need to be!
And then the Mom says, "Okay, thank her. Say thank you!"
"tankyou!"
And then I just made a kind of squeek sound with my throat, waved vigorously and pedaled away.
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
And when I thought about, it would have been funny to say in a high-pitched voice, "I'm a boy!"
but then I also would have had to apologize to her for her mistaking me as a girl. That's on me. It's not even a 50-50 guess when you see a long-haired person in tight jeans and bright green shoes walking over to a girl's bike.
The only fair thing to do would have been to say, "I am sorry that the way I look made you wrong in front of your child." I don't want to do that to a parent. She might end up having a conversation with her child that she never wanted to have. I put that on her.
If me pretending to by a shy girl preserves a child's innocence and a mother's confidence, that's a sacrifice I'm gonna make 9 times out of 10.
Also the pee test went really well.
THE END!
Also the pee test went really well.
THE END!
2 comments:
This was funny. I feel your pain.
Although really--no boob check, lady?
(sorry for the long response! Wait. No, I'm not. This is MY BLOG!)
In my psych class I learned about this thing called experimental neurosis.
They discovered it when they trained a dog to associate seeing a circle with getting a reward and seeing a square with getting nothing.
Then they gradually made the circle look more square-like until it was a mix of circle-square and when the dog saw it, it couldn't tell if it was going to get food or not.
They kept showing the dog the square-circle until it got depressed and anxious because it couldn't tell if anything had meaning anymore.
The point is (besides how strange it is that dogs can be given depression with weird shapes), I think the woman made a choice that would spare her from experimental neurosis. Even if she'd done a boob-check, there was too much conflicting information already. And for me to contradict her had the potential to push her towards some sort of cliff.
Post a Comment