Googlefriend

If you're reading this blog then you know that it is a very very very tiny blog.. Nobody actually reads this blog. Statistically. It doesn't exist. These words aren't here and if you tried to tell someone about this, it wouldn't be true.

You're lying to them. I'm not actually here.

But that doesn't stop me from getting a little excited about people randomly finding the things I write through silly google searches where I somehow appear high on the results.

Because my blog is so small I noticed recently that someone found me through the search "slim pickens and goat".

And I'm guessing they were trying to find a picture of the actor Slim Pickens with a goat. Instead they found my short short story "Slim Pickens and the Goat Who Cried Too Little."

Which is basically my attempt at Homestar Runner.

But then I noticed on my Referring URL thing that people found the post after someone put it up on Facebook.

It's even more exciting because I don't have a Facebook anymore! So for all I know, magical things could be happening!

But, if you are the person who found that post, how creepy is it that I know about your actions? And, did you like the story?

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What do you want to know?! I'll tell you anything! I'm an open book. I'm glass. Look through my eyes and see through the warped and tainted lenses!

I'll mail you sand. I'll mail  you buckets of sand. Send me your pockets. I'll put sand in them and send them back. I promise. I would never want to break your trust.

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As I wrote that I got the sense of a person stranded on an island in the Pacific who hears a coconut fall in the distance and screams his lungs out for help in that direction.

Send me a lifeline coconut man! Tell me your story!