Dating and Relationships

 I've been on a good amount of dates this year and met some people and learned about people and learned about myself. 

I think until very recently I didn't think of myself as someone who would want to go on dates just for the sake of going on dates and getting to know someone. My mindset was to be attracted to someone, get to know them, be more attracted to them, be in a relationship with them. Dates were strictly a means to an end and the whole point of being interested in someone was to start a relationship. I don't think I pursued this like really aggressively or anything but I always felt that I'm someone who gets really attached really easily and so to head in that direction but then just leaving things at a date felt kind of uncomfortable. Why would I just want to date someone if it was going to cause me to have all these feelings that I would just have to let go?

Well, anyway, flash forward to now and I'm totally over that hang up, haha. I think a couple things have happened. Meeting people seems less stressful and less of an "event". I realized that I like my life the way I have it set up and I don't really want to rush into sharing that with anyone unless it's really going to be a good fit. 

I remember at the start of this year, at a new years party, it hit midnight and I was at this house party and all the couples were all coupled up and me and all the single people were kinda in the living room and all the single people were looking kinda sad and mopey. And I felt sorta sad and mopey. And I decided I would make an effort to get on an app and meet people and date. If you had asked me then what I would have hoped to have by now it would have been a girlfriend. And I don't have a girlfriend right now. Sometimes that was from the choices I made and sometimes that was a choice the other person made. But I will say I feel good about my ability to meet people and go on dates. I seem to be likeable enough to people I like that I feel good about myself. And I guess more important than having anything is feeling good about yourself.