Savage Reeds

I was on Youtube the day before classes started, watching these animated philosophy lectures, animated by the South Park creators. And one of the videos was talking about how we don't perceive all of ourselves as our 'self'. You don't say, "I am hands". You say, "these are my hands". There is a layer of separation. And basically, when you do that, it alienates you from the world.

So I was brushing my teeth later thinking, "I am teeth. I am fingernail. I am gross-nasty scar on my shin. I am belly-button mole."

(Also, I think the one-year anniversary of nasty scar on my leg happened sometime recently. Still gross.)

It's an interesting idea. I'm not really sure what to do with it except talk funny. It makes you feel for more active in your actions, I guess. It's good to see yourself not just as your thoughts and 'consciousness' but also as your physical body. There's something empowering about that. Assimilate all of the world into yourself! Become your own God! Eat pizza-bagels and ice cream for every meal.
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But what I really want to talk about is my two favorite things to talk about: oranges and evil.

The best way I can describe the kind of evil I'm thinking about is with any of the music videos from Beck's album: Mellow Gold.


just look at it!

Loser
Beercan

I mean, those are two favorites and you can find the videos yourself but I didn't want to link to Vevo because it makes you watch commercials and that's just not right. But take almost any Beck song made in the early 90s and they all have these really surreal dark themes. Mountain Dew Rock, Snoozer, Nitemare Hippy Girl, Satan Gave Me a Taco, MTV Makes Me Want to Smoke Crack, Fume.

But none of it, to me, is what you would ordinarily think of when you hear the world evil. I think that's because when you say a word like evil or good, there's an assumption that whatever it is is taking itself seriously. Its serious business, good and evil. So I didn't immediately associate these songs with evil, I just associated them with Beck. And they are Beck. They are his own unique creations.

But they're also evil. They're distopian and weird and angry and I've always loved them. Listen to the bass groove on Beercan. Or in the middle of the song when it sounds like they're chopping up clips from a Care Bear Special. Pick out any of the lyrics of Loser and you get these dark images. "Saving all your food stamps and burning down the trailer park!" The video has a grim reaper squeegee-ing blood onto a windshield.

None of it is threatening though. Or empowering or destructive or constructive. That's where it divulges from Death Metal or any other dark genre. It's chaotic. It just sits there and works itself up into this terrible frenzy that doesn't go anywhere or do anything but builds up its own rich life out of its idiosyncrasies.

And I think the richness of that chaos is important. When Beck was making all this music he was poor. He was a bum. He was a guy playing on the streets and crashing open mics at cafes. So he was taking all this destitution and squalor and bottom-of-the-barrel scum that he was living in and he turned it into these amazing collages of evil-sounding things. It's like that thing I said about collecting trash in ,"The Most College Post of All". If you collect specific kinds of trash you can make awesome things out of it.

I guess what it comes down to is imagination. Even if you're sitting in a pile of trash, even if you're surrounded by horrors, it's special because you are a part of it. You can transform it. You can make it entertaining. Anything you want. And it will be all the more powerful because of its filth, its sour potency. And I think to aspire to nothing higher than to make a kingdom out trash and be its ruler is indulgent and 'evil'. But that's what makes it fun. And its all about having fun.

"How you like me now?
Pretty good.
Going ooon, feeling stroooong."