Well, they're tights. They're tight pants. But they're aren't just any tight pants. Oh no. This company, Skins, that makes these tights, the RY400, found a way to make pants so tight that they actually heal the muscles in your legs faster! Faster than looser pants or no pants. It's supposed to increase circulation or something...
But really, they're just tight pants.
Tight pants that cost one hundred and forty dollars! $140!
I've been telling myself for the past, I don't know, four days now that I'm not going to buy them. But here's the thing, I am going to buy them. I have to buy them. Because the seeds have been sown. And now those seeds are being relentless nourished by the heaps of manure that are banner ads that I see on every single website I go to. I can't escape these pants! I literally think about buying these ridiculous pants before I go to sleep at night.
That brings us to logic. It's logic's job to stop me from buying things I don't need. You know that scene in Black Dynamite where he's in his dojo and he wails on all those Asian guys for no apparent reason? They run at him only to get utterly destroyed. Those guys are logic.
.
And my compulsive urges are about to roundhouse kick them to the floor.
But let's see what logic has to say.
1. They cost $140! Could you really stand to live with yourself if you bought a single pair of pants that cost that much? That's not the way. That's not the way it's supposed to be!
2. They probably don't even make that much of a difference. Are you even going to notice?
3. You have to walk around with these tights under your clothes and its recommended that you sleep in them. You can't sleep in tights.
Yes, that's all very well and good logic. You made a strong case. However, the simple facts remain:
a) I want them.
b) Christmas money.
Well, if I want them so bad why don't I just buy them and shut-up about it?
Because look at them! They're so stupid! And I'm not even that fast. Not fast enough to have running determine the pants I wear when I'm NOT running. It's already taken almost everything else.
So yeah, not going to buy them...for now. But these freakin' banner ads won't let me forget about them! Now I'm just not going to buy them out of spite. If I see a pair in real life, I'mma steal them. That's what the Internet has driven me to do. Everyone heard it here: the Internet made me do it.
Keep the faith.
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