Bill's Roman Dumps AND Lyrics Explained

So I was reading Paradise Lost earlier, and that got me thinking about a much more important poet. A poet of our times. Arguably, a poet of all times.

Kanye Omari West (duh.)

And I was thinking about a lyric in one of his more provocative songs, Can't Tell Me Nothing.

I would like to explain it to you. Because I care about you. Let's have a very special blog post.

So he says in Verse 2, Stanza 1, Lines 3 and 4,

"I know that Jesus died for us,
but I couldn't tell ya who the side was"

OR! I've also seen it interpreted as

"I know that Jesus died for us,
but I couldn't tell ya who decide wars"

And they're pretty much saying the same thing. Kanye is expressing his confusion and cognitive dissonance based on the fact that even though the Sacrifice saved humanity, according to his perception of reality, e'rybody in the street be gettin' screwed all the time. GEORGE BUSH DOESN'T CARE ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE! Are we really saved? How can we know as people or Americans that we're truly righteous when all this terrible stuff keeps happening?

So he's troubled, to say the least. Then, and this is where it gets good, in Verse 2, Stanza 2, Line 1,
he resolves this conflict by saying, "So I parallel, double-park, that muthaf****r sideways."

And I've heard this line dozens, if not hundreds,of times but today I finally really thought about what he's saying.

First he's gonna parallel park. (Picture time!)


 So Kanye is going to park between that Red car and that Brownish car. (the squares are cars. Just go with it)

But he's not just going to parallel park. He's going to DOUBLE PARK!



that means that there is already a car in his prospective parking space, (the blue square) but regardless of this fact, he's going to park his solid gold Other-Other Benz right beside it! How's that blue square gonna get out?! Kanye don't care.

But it doesn't stop there! Because Kanye parallel, double-parks, SIDEWAYS!


That means he parks with the nose of the car facing the blue car, and the butt and body of the car taking up the entire right lane of the street!

SO NOBODY CAN USE THAT SIDE OF THE STREET!



The squares are out of control!!!!!

What's really interesting here is that Kanye has negates his own statement within itself. To parallel double-park sideways is no longer paralleling parking at all. It is PERPENDICULAR parking!

This contradiction mirrors the earlier contradiction between knowing the love of Jesus and being unable to interpret the nature of good.

Kanye is lost! He abandons all logic and takes up the yoke of chaos!

And now you see the full implications of Kanye's words. The question we must now ask is, "Why, why Kanye?"

Well, as he told you before, HE'S CONFUSED ABOUT GOD AND STUFF HOLMES!


Keep the faith.
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I was also going to plan out a coming-of-age story, a bildungsroman, in this post. But I think you've had enough for one day. Rest your weary head.