I got a name for that; I call it: The Greggening. (that's Greggening with 3 g's and a ŋ)
It's called that because I figure one day I'm gonna get up to go to the kitchen to get some jalapeno peanuts and I'll get that feeling. But instead of my vision returning, the Greggening will progress further and further until I enter into total Gregg. It's like my senses will just flip over to this other dimension ruled by the demi-god known only as Gregg.
He'll be all the time squatting and have a little cane thing and a raggedity purple cape that he likes to sniff the corners of when he thinks no one is looking. But everyone is totally looking. Other than him it'll just be like a dark void with wispy swirly stuff going on in the background and you want to touch it but you know it's probably evil and will send you back in time where you'll inadvertently become your own aunt.
Anyway, Gregg will be scrunched up like a medium-sized evil prune and instead of talking to you he'll just wave his hand and three boxes will appear before you. There's a big box, a little box, and uh...Residential Advisor box. The RA box is always trying to hold events in the social lounge that no one attends. And then I show up after the event fails and eat all the free cookies!
Anyway, creepy Gregg is like, "Choose a box carefully."
And I'm like, "Well, obviously I don't want the RA box. But other than that, how is this a situation that requires care? I only know the size of these boxes. Size doesn't tell me a whole lot about the properties of what they contain. I mean, in terms of danger the little box could contain a plague of roaches, wasps, cherry-flavored cough syrup. Any number of terrible things. While the big box could be filled with several boxes, each of which get smaller in size and ultimately contain the same thing as the little box."
"Shut up. Just pick one.""
"I pick the big box. And if Audrey Hepburn is in there, she better be alive. A dead Audrey Hepburn would be most unpropitious."
(that means unfavorable, y'all! Second vocab word of the 2012!)
And then I open the big box and there's a giant glass of orange juice. Suddenly! I'm in the orange juice! And the top's been sealed off with a sheet of cafeteria-grade aluminum foil.
Gregg is like, "Looks like you'll have to drink your way out!"
And I'm thinking, I've been preparing for this my whole life!
So I drink a third of my body weight in orange juice and that snaps me back to reality.
In conclusion, make sure you keep your blood sugar up and always stay hydrated!
He'll be all the time squatting and have a little cane thing and a raggedity purple cape that he likes to sniff the corners of when he thinks no one is looking. But everyone is totally looking. Other than him it'll just be like a dark void with wispy swirly stuff going on in the background and you want to touch it but you know it's probably evil and will send you back in time where you'll inadvertently become your own aunt.
Anyway, Gregg will be scrunched up like a medium-sized evil prune and instead of talking to you he'll just wave his hand and three boxes will appear before you. There's a big box, a little box, and uh...Residential Advisor box. The RA box is always trying to hold events in the social lounge that no one attends. And then I show up after the event fails and eat all the free cookies!
Anyway, creepy Gregg is like, "Choose a box carefully."
And I'm like, "Well, obviously I don't want the RA box. But other than that, how is this a situation that requires care? I only know the size of these boxes. Size doesn't tell me a whole lot about the properties of what they contain. I mean, in terms of danger the little box could contain a plague of roaches, wasps, cherry-flavored cough syrup. Any number of terrible things. While the big box could be filled with several boxes, each of which get smaller in size and ultimately contain the same thing as the little box."
"Shut up. Just pick one.""
"I pick the big box. And if Audrey Hepburn is in there, she better be alive. A dead Audrey Hepburn would be most unpropitious."
(that means unfavorable, y'all! Second vocab word of the 2012!)
And then I open the big box and there's a giant glass of orange juice. Suddenly! I'm in the orange juice! And the top's been sealed off with a sheet of cafeteria-grade aluminum foil.
Gregg is like, "Looks like you'll have to drink your way out!"
And I'm thinking, I've been preparing for this my whole life!
So I drink a third of my body weight in orange juice and that snaps me back to reality.
In conclusion, make sure you keep your blood sugar up and always stay hydrated!
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