Last Place at Last

You know what you got to do Andy?!

You gotta explore your imagination!

Now, I know we're past our prime imagination years. But that doesn't mean we can't get up everyday and see the world in a new light! Okay?!

I know years of commercial advertising and adjusting to social norms has put a damper on that raging fountain of thoughts you used to have when you were little. You used to go outside and throw a ball on the roof and watch it roll down then catch that ball and throw it back on the roof. And all the while you were exploring a magical world where you could fly and drop water balloons full of tomato soup on people's heads! BAHAHAHA!

But times have changed. This world is too much with you. That's why you gotta take those little moments, those little things that cause you to stir inside and you gotta tear 'em wide open.

Like the other day, when you were sitting around in the Arboretum, minding your own business. You're on a hill by a parking lot and up comes this big ol' morbidly obese jack russell terrier.


He looked just like that.

And he's got a wide puppy smile, he's enjoying being outside. And for a brief second, I'm transfixed by his stomach which is just barely clear of the ground. I give this dog the same attention I would give any dog because--it's a dog. I'm gonna look at it. They're like the third best thing to look at.

So I look at the fat dog, then I look away, and I hear his owner say, "Don't look at my dog like that!"

And I look back at this woman, who I hadn't paid any attention to before. She's dressed in pajamas with pretty big, frizzy hair and she's got a look on her face like she leaned in way too close to a grapefruit and stabbed a spoon right in to it.

So I say, "What?"

And she says, "Don't look at my dog like that!"

Your dog is a fun-loving pile of dog! How else am I supposed to look at it?! It's not like I cringed at the thing or my jaw dropped. I didn't even snicker. I just looked at it.

So I say pretty softly, "what?...sorry..."

And she goes, "Otis! His name is Otis!"

I look away from her completely and I hear her say, "Come on, Otis. Jump in the truck."

As if she's trying to prove to me that her dog is capable of lifting itself off the ground.

She goes on, "C'mon Otis. Nobody likes you here."

Now, I don't know this woman's life. I don't know the events that preceded her encounter with me. But the only logical thing I can imagine is that it has been a story that follows in the timeless vein of "White-Trash Woman and Morbidly Obese Dog Out to Prove They've Got What it Takes!".

It's a story you've heard a million times. A successful, yet over-weight jack russell terrier is on the top of the world until health problems and a messy divorce cause him to lose everything. He fears he may be doomed to the lower class lifestyle he grow up in and has worked tirelessly all his life to escape! He's driving in his Bentley one day, one of his last possessions of wealth, and finds this scared looking woman on the side of the road. Despite his better judgement, he picks her up and lets her live with him. He does this partly out of pity, partly because he's just so lonely. The relationship is rocky at first. The dog is too strong to admit he needs help even though things are startling to crumble faster and faster. The woman is completely ignorant of social norms and chews up all his fur pillows. Eventually, through their trials they learn how to open up and bring out the best in each other. They don't need the acceptance of other people. They don't want it anymore. They can fight off any glances made in public areas. After their encounter with me, which signifies their newly found strength, they go and win back the dog's company in a high profile lawsuit...or something.

So yeah, I really learned a lot about the compassion of animals and...the rudeness and mistrust of humans.