Go read his response first or don't and just read this and try to fill in the gaps yourself. Was going to comment this and then figured it deserved a post.
Very good points and I really appreciate your response. This was a raw first impression and after a couple days my attitude has definitely shifted a bit. I agree that it is good to have things to look forward to. In hindsight, my reaction feels like a bit much but it really did hit me hard in the moment. And I think you're very much correct that that feeling is a special thing. I suppose I was skeptical of it because it felt so overwhelming. Happy to report that my life has not fallen apart even as I continue playing the game. Some other observations
- I have this feeling between my eyes somewhere and I think I'm staring at the screen too intently so that's probably something to watch out for.
-One vivid memory I have from my early childhood, especially between like 8 and 12 or so, was having this really intense inner monologue and imagination. I feel like I spent a lot of free time just being outside and watching my thoughts play like a movie or a show. I also remember getting older and feeling like I lost that and it's something I miss. I'll try sometimes and it just doesn't happen. Anyway, I feel like something about the game has turned that part of my brain on again. Maybe it's the dopamine. It's not like a craving to play the game and it's kind of nebulous but something is activated that wasn't before and it's not a bad thing.
One thing I've learned is that I really value being regulated and I think that's good but it also limits the kinds of experiences I have and seek out.
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