Sunday, September 27, 2026

batomon showdown: a reminder of who I was once and apparently still am

 About 10 years or so ago I remember telling people things like "Yeah I don't play video games anymore. I have an addictive personality and they end up taking up too much of my life." And that was true. And I lived my life knowing that was true and avoiding things that would lead to that cycle.

Flash forward 10 years later to the present day and I discovered this little game called Batomon Showdown and it was like this pit in my psyche that I knew so well and took care to avoid went unnoticed for so long that leaf debris and clutter had formed a thin covering over the top. And then, brother, I fell in that pit hard. This cute little pixelated skinner box had my dopamine system going crazy. I know what it's doing to. I know exactly how it's pulling me in and keeping me there and I don't even care in the moment. 

Maybe it's not like this for everyone but when I'm hooked on a game like this it drastically changes how I function. I stayed up late. If I'm not playing it, I'm thinking about playing it. I feel like large stretches of time pass while I'm playing. It makes me worry about young people. It's too strong. I get why it feels like certain kids aren't really present. And this game is like, tame compared to other things. But after I stop playing, my mind is still thinking about the game.

I'm not saying video games are bad. Who even cares. But Skinner Boxes are bad. 


me playing video games on the computer

I relearned something about how I'm wired this weekend.

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