there's no way.
there's just no way.
there's no possible way they want to sell you car insurance that badly.
what they want to do
is interrupt my going-to-sleep youtube video so I have to turn the screen back on and hit 'skip'
and I will never forgive them for that
there's no way
BALK RULES! IMPORTANT!
1. You can't just be up there and just doin' a balk like that.
1a. A balk is when you
1b. Okay well listen. A balk is when you balk the
1c. Let me start over
1c-a. The pitcher is not allowed to do a motion to the, uh, batter, that prohibits the batter from doing, you know, just trying to hit the ball. You can't do that.
1c-b. Once the pitcher is in the stretch, he can't be over here and say to the runner, like, "I'm gonna get ya! I'm gonna tag you out! You better watch your butt!" and then just be like he didn't even do that.
1c-b(1). Like, if you're about to pitch and then don't pitch, you have to still pitch. You cannot not pitch. Does that make any sense?
1c-b(2). You gotta be, throwing motion of the ball, and then, until you just throw it.
1c-b(2)-a. Okay, well, you can have the ball up here, like this, but then there's the balk you gotta think about.
1c-b(2)-b. Fairuza Balk hasn't been in any movies in forever. I hope she wasn't typecast as that racist lady in American History X.
1c-b(2)-b(i). Oh wait, she was in The Waterboy too! That would be even worse.
1c-b(2)-b(ii). "get in mah bellah" -- Adam Water, "The Waterboy." Haha, classic...
1c-b(3). Okay seriously though. A balk is when the pitcher makes a movement that, as determined by, when you do a move involving the baseball and field of
2. Do not do a balk please.
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I can't read it out loud without laughing every three words. It's delightful.
in this world you're either binkus or bonkus
dinkus or donkus
crissing the cross or crossing the criss
no
any dichotomy is itself a trap to bound your experience between two lame poles
you're either a skeleton warrior or a skeleton poet
no
skeleton warrior poet cartographer lover friend confidant disgraced administrator
I've grown a lot as a climbing coach and I'm still growing and I'm proud of myself for that
arthropods and mollusks have a digestive organ called a hepatopancreas that functions as both a liver and a pancreas
hepato- comes from the ancient Greek word for liver 'hepar'
sos basically the crabs have a liver-pancreas
pancreas is a combination of the Greek words 'pan' meaning 'all' and 'kreas' meaning 'flesh' or 'meat'
if you go far back enough in the etymology of the word liver you get to the proto-germanic word for 'to be slimy or sticky'
and that's why isopods store heavy metals in their 'slimy all meat' pouch
Probably most people have a memory from childhood where an adult or someone older than you had a treat or something they were going to hand out to the group and upon learning of this event all the kids present started to clamor "Me! Me! Me! Me first! Me first!" And then, as a way of incentivizing desired behavior the adult would go, "I'm starting with So-And-So because they're waiting quietly."
And all the kids would get quiet and adopt the appearance of waiting patiently. And yeah, I think that is a good lesson. And it's true that if you make too big a show of wanting something you can end up not getting that thing.
I think it's something that's deeply ingrained in me. At the same time. Sometimes. As an adult you think, "Well, I should just wait patiently." And then another voice says, you are going to die someday and you don't know when that day is and do you want to spend the time you have waiting patiently so you can look back and say well at least I waited patiently for a thing I really wanted and never got.
But! You could maybe argue that that makes the waiting all the bolder. Because you didn't give into that fear or that basic urge of wanting.
I don't know. What a trip.
I purchased a new car battery today because my car wouldn't start anymore and the sticker on the old battery said 9/18. Which I'm choosing to believe means that battery was purchased in 2018 and I haven't had to replace it until 2026.
That's right. I DOUBLED the life expectancy of a car battery. The average is 3-5 years. I made it EIGHT.
Is it because I'm a good driver? Is it because of all my good deeds? Probably.
we have a rabbit living under the concrete somewhere.
we have some sort of melon/gourd plant growing in the mulch by the parking lot.
this is great news.
if you don't want nature to flourish you have lost the plot.
Come on out back to the field with me. See the horizon? Where the land meets the sky? It's a place you can see but you can never get to it.
A lot of things are like that.
And the things you can actually get to, well, you get to them and then you're there. So then you gotta pick something else.
Some stuff, like mountains, you can actually get to if you go far enough.
You can't get to clouds. But if you get on a plane you can go through a cloud and even that's a little underwhelming if we're being honest. It's just fog.
No but the point is you have to set your sights on something and chances are it's not going to be real and if it is real you'll have to pick something else but that's why you just dwell baby. You realize that you're already sitting where someone else's horizon is. Bada-boom!
ringdingling merjerity
burface munion
kerlaptropy wheeznorts
stunbottom mottobnuts
purple eleven
mastle hilarious
cued hegemonicanizer
plafid blurnton
misted lane
obonotched giddididdi
And I know. You're like, "No. That's a bad idea. Why would anyone look into that?"
But, it would be pretty cool. And you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. You're telling me we don't have a single person assigned to Shrink Ray Technology?
Oh no all the time energy and money's gotta go to surveillance camera and the robot that pretends to have a brain
Would it really hurt anyone to work on the shrink ray?
it's like tasting in 3D
It reminds me of the immortal Peggy Hill quote, "If this is food, what have we been eating?"
I like the slime.
It's the closest society will let me get to drinking pond water.
The nutritional powerhouse of guzzling frog eggs.
big cake.
it's not just a big cake.
it's a crumb. like a single crumb of a cake. but that crumb is the size and weight of a wedding cake.
suggesting an artifact from an impossibly large cake of a time long forgot not unlike the dinosaurs of yore
Bruce Lee famously feared the man who practiced one punch a thousand times.
Here are some other things Bruce Lee feared.
A big clock with a boxing glove on the end of the second hand and every time it ticks it also punches you.
A bunch of bats flying together in the shape of a fist that punches you.
A special fruit called punch fruit that has edible seeds but the seeds are actually little fists and when you eat them they punch your insides.
A guy with two fists on one arm so every time he punches you he's double punching you.
A bunch of birds flying together in the shape of a fist that punches you.
A bunch of fish swimming together in the shape of a fist that punches you when you're underwater.
His older brother, specifically after his older brother trained a bunch of mosquitoes to fly together in the shape of a fist that punches you and sucks your blood also.
A punch called the dehydration punch that can punch all the water out of you.
An overly large cigarette with a fist on the end of it and when someone smokes it and exhales the smoke it sends out of a bunch of smoke fists that punch you.
A punch car that punches you.
Being held down and punched by a bunch of angry dudes that are good at punching.
Those are the other things Bruce Lee feared that they won't teach you about in school. You can find more stuff like this in my upcoming book.
"Picked and prudent sentiments. You are the moderate man, the invaluable understrapper of the wicked man. You, the moderate man, may be used for wrong, but are useless for right."
Herman Melville with some absolute heat
the other day I was reminded of the Dolly Sods backpacking trip I led back in 2021. I watched some clips of videos I took and thought, 'wow. that was like the best time of my life. I would give anything to be able to do that again.'
But then! I remembered that I was also like annoyed the whole time. Or, not the whole time. There were a lot of great moments. It was a really special trip. But there were plenty of times where I was annoyed or frustrated.
But maybe it's not a mean trick that memory plays on you. To only remember what was good and special about it.
Maybe it's a sign that you should let stuff go more. That all those little things are going to fade away anyway. So why bother getting worked up about it in the first place?
Hmmm hmmm much to consider
I'll tell you what I did do though that I was rarely annoyed with. WINTER CAMPING. Go find that post from March 15th, 2013.
I'd run that back in a SECOND.
Trips I'd Run Back (ranked)
-Winter Camping 2013
-Costa Rica 2023
-Dolly Sods 2021
-Florida 2022
-Costa Rica 2020 and Florida 2024
I try to get the camp bus back at the gym right at 4 so that pick up happens fast and there isn't a lot of sitting around at the end of the day and so I've started this bit called 'looking for clues' where if we're going to get back too early I go to a random parking lot and drive around in circles and tell the kids to "look for clues".
And then they yell at me, "what are we doing?! are we lost? we need to go to rocky top? why are you doing this?!"
And I go, "I don't know guys there's a lot of mysteries out there. We just gotta look for clues."
And then that kills like 2 minutes at most but it makes me laugh.
playing hide and sick in the woods and you're lying on the ground behind a log and there's a tiny little window where you can see the seeker perfectly and they can't see you.
that's what social media is trying to be.
except without leaves and dirt and occasional bird noises
