I don't think that's true. Because what if you go into X and figure out its components and then artificially reproduce those elements in such a way so that everything is nearly the same except without Y?
Right? Isn't that a great way to live? We've done it. We've won. We've freed ourselves from taking things as they are and now we live in the grotesque amalgamations of our dreams.
But anyway I had a good day today. It was fun.
I have a link to them and I've started watching them and I really want to watch them but I have this really strong feeling that I'm going to cry if I watch them. Not that I'm sad. I just get too sentimental about them. In a similar way to how I cry watching sports where someone is trying really hard.
But I do want to watch them.
I found this video of my sixteenth birthday and immediately I seem obnoxious. Like an unpleasant person to be around. It's gross. If I could go back in time I'd say 'stop being a butt.'
But I'm going to try to watch this with compassion.
I'm sorry, Erin. I'm so sorry.
I don't know it's so hard to watch because I have this sarcastic attitude like I'm not enjoying any of it but I know I'm embarrassed and uncomfortable with my emotions.
I'm burping. Oh jeez. This is terrible.
I called my sister and apologized.
I also apologize to Maw Maw and Paw Paw.
A heartfelt thanks to my wonderful Mom for recording this moment. In all seriousness. It gives me a lot of empathy and understanding for giving a teenage child space to be a turd and try to figure out all their stuff. It's tough.
I probably would've learned a lot about myself sooner if I'd watched that clip.
there's something kind of sad about seeing an item that you sometimes buy get discontinued.
oh I guess I wasn't enough support
oh I guess no one else likes this but me
oh I guess the food I thought was good was actually a failure
Ha! Those are feelings I would have if I tied my identity to things I buy at the grocery store. My identity is wrapped up in...a lot of stuff.
today we went on a hike to a waterfall and there's a jump to the side of it that's pretty tall and the kids enjoyed jumping into the pool below. On the way back one of the kids was describing the jump relative to Victor Wembanyana's height.
If he jumped off the high jump and went straight down his head wouldn't even go under the water.
I love the idea of this impossibly tall man that's a superstar and defies the limits of what a human being should be able to do. The imagination runs wild thinking of what Wemby would do in the face of any tall height or great distance.
That's all I got. Me being amused by a small child's fascination with an incredibly tall Frenchman.
Starting my new camp tomorrow. I feel ready. I feel excited. I want it to go well.
I want to remind myself that the reason I care about camps so much is that I've seen and felt how important they are to people and it's a gift and a privilege to be part of that. That's why I want to give it my all.
I think the point of all stories about magical wishes is that they're cautionary tales and that magical wishes are bad.
But surely that can't be true. There must be some good magical wishes.
I guess Fairly Oddparents featured non-bad magical wishes.
I'll say this right now. And I bet you've never thought of this. I bet you haven't taken this step like I have before now.
I vow that if I am ever presented with the opportunity to make a magical wish, I'm not gonna do it.
And everyone will be confused like what? why not? Don't you want to? It's a magic wish. This never happens.
And I'll be like, 'Sorry. I made a vow. On June 5th, 2026. Look it up.'
Just like that, I'm immune to the magic now.
at rocky top climbing gym you can climb whatever climbs you want.
you get to choose.
if you want to do a climb, do it! if you don't want to do a climb, don't do it!
that's freedom. that's decision making.
we won't make you climb climbs you don't want to do.
we won't stop you from climbing climbs you want to do.
you're free. free as a bird.
at rocky top climbing gym.
you get to choose.
choice is our top priority.
we've developed the entire gym around your ability to choose.
aren't you grateful? aren't you thankful?
for the power of choice?
isn't that great?
don't you love us?
don't you love rocky top climbing gym get a grip?
because of the freedom we give you.
imagine if we stole your freedom.
imagine if you couldn't climb the climbs you wanted.
wouldn't that be terrible.
wouldn't you hate it.
you freedom loving choice creature. you live to choose.
and here at rocky top climbing gym,
you have to choice.
there's no other way.
if you don't decide
then nothing will happen.
it all depends on your choosing.
your choice is all there is.
your choice is the one thing keeping rocky top climbing from disintegrating into nothingness.
I swear it is.
I wouldn't lie to you.
See for yourself.
Looking back over the past year to see if I've improved at the 3 things I've been training.
Climbing. Overhead Press. Sprinting.
Climbing
On June 1st of last year I picked up 120lbs with my left hand on a 20mm edge and 130lbs with my right hand. At least one time in the past year I've picked up 130lbs with my left hand and 140lbs with my right hand.
I mostly did these lifts as a warm-up and only did a few dedicated workouts if I couldn't climb for some reason. I'm happy I was able to make improvement with both hands. In the next year I'd like to pick up my bodyweight with my right hand and get my left hand up to 140lbs.
I don't think this type of finger strength is a limiting factor in my climbing.
Since August of last year an overwhelming majority of my climbing has been spent moonboarding twice a week. I would warm up by pulling with the tension block and then climb on the moonboard for about an hour while working on completing the benchmarks at the lowest grade available. Through November I completed almost all of the 2016 v4 benchmarks and then when the gym changed over to the 2024 set I did all of the V4 benchmarks and as of today I have 7 6C benchmarks left. That's about 77 benchmark climbs between v4 and v5 since last November.
One feeling I have about the past year is that I think I've topped out my climbing ability with about two hours of structured climbing per week. Training that was essentially moderate to limit bouldering for an hour a session. In running terms, I'm doing the kind of training I was doing in middle school. Low mileage. Short workouts. Racing a lot.
I feel like I can be very strong for one effort or a single move but that ability decreases pretty quickly over the course of a session. I also don't think I use my body as efficiently as I could. I think both could be addressed by climbing more. More training-style climbing instead of working hard moves. More volume.
The thing I liked about the training I did this year was that it was easy and simple to quantify and it didn't make me too tired for things like sprinting. A few years ago I would just climbing whatever I felt until I got tired and the next day I would feel wiped out. I've done a good job at being intentional with my climbing training.
That said, when I look at my off-the-wall strength metrics, I should be climbing harder than I do. And it comes back to not climbing enough.
So! This summer the goal is to CLIMB MORE. When I would train for cross country in the summer it was about accruing mileage. It didn't really matter if it was slow or not. It was about making the number go up. And I saw huge improvements from doing that.
The plan is Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays when we're climbing in the gym with the summer camp to do easy climbing and work on dynamic movement with make-ups. NO PROJECTING! NO TRYING HARD MOVES! NO SPIRALING! Easy, fun climbing that is low stakes so I can still run the summer camp effectively. I'm okay with climbing very little during this time. This time is not about getting fit or even doing anything challenging. It's movement maintenance.
Then on Tuesdays and Fridays I'm going to warm-up on the campus board and then do structured workouts of Wall Crawls where I do climbs on the moonboard and batcave spraywall while holding each position for 5 seconds or a 7 count before moving again. If I could build up to 2 hours per session of this training, 4 hours per week, I think that would move the needle. I can also supplement the time with the batcave traverse wall or the tread wall. We'll see! I think it's going to be really tough but I want to set the bar high and be okay with feeling tired and weak. I'm not going to test my strength or expect any PRs but trust that doing the work on relatively easy climbing will pay off.
Strength
The main lift I focused on this year was barbell Overhead Press. At some point in the Fall I hit 60kg for one and then I kinda lost my momentum due to shoulder injuries and weird things cropping up. I also had a wrist injury in the Spring that made pressing with the barbell uncomfortable. Recently though I hit 12 reps with 95lbs which is also a PR. I made incremental progress towards my goal of pressing my bodyweight but upper body strength training was definitely secondary to climbing and lower body training. I'm okay with that.
Again, my pressing and pulling strength aren't limiting factors to my climbing. They're fun to work on but it wouldn't make sense to prioritize them more than I do. Also injuries are lame. As of right now I'm completely healthy other than some lingering stiffness in my right wrist so I'm going to continue with the strength training I've been doing.
Lately my routine has consisted of holding one arm lock-offs on each arm for as long as possible. Then pressing 95lbs or 100lbs for as many reps as possible. Then using the pulley system by the hangboard to do as many one-arm pull-ups as possible with 15lbs attached to the other end of the pulley. Then I do as many bodyweight pull-ups as possible. I started with 15 one day and every session I try to beat that. I'm currently at 18 and my lifetime best is 22. So far I haven't had to go to failure because I just beat it by one and then stop but I'll have to figure something out once I can't beat it anymore. Maybe I'll just add a little bit of weight and then start again. Anyway that's been working well. I like those exercises and it's not enough to make me super tired.
Sprinting
On June 3rd, 2025 my sprinting PRs were
50m- 6.14 100m- 12.58 200m- 26.89 300m- 43.25
As of June 3rd, 2026, my PRs are:
50m- 5.94 100m- 12.22 200m- 26.41 300m- 42.29
I improved! Yay!
If I could make that some amount of improvement over the next year, I would consider my sprinting goals reached.
I learned a lot about form and changed my training quite a bit from a year ago. My lifts are also completely different. My legs are visibly bigger than they were a year ago.
Keep going.
and then one evening everything was fine
and then one evening everything was good
the words that spilled had been put neatly away
everything was met by the warm dry air
it all settled in a way that was easy to make peace with
what was there was there
it could be looked upon
it was all the same
the mind could deal
the soul was at ease
leaves many layers up
waved fluttering green
It was a picture.
But on June 26th I wrote this long drawn out joke thing and the opening line was
this guy is burn with a rare mutation that causes his skin to be on fire all the time,
I wrote 'burn' instead of 'born'.
BUT! It's a joke about a guy whose skin is constantly on fire.
So 'burn' actually kinda fits.
That's like some James Joyce level stuff.
Finnegan's Wake and all that.
I'm really excited to start this new camp. I made all the plans today and I think it's going to be great.
