Ouagadougou Gold

I was out running by Target and there was this homeless guy sitting by the edge of the parking lot and as I was stopped to wait for the road to clear so I could cross to the other side he started talking to me.

He was wearing white shorts and a striped tank-top with a cardboard sign that said homeless.

He spoke with a rich, calm voice as he looked up at me. He said, "Have you ever stared back at a man whose eyes are shaded from the Mexican sun by the brim of a ragged straw hat? Have you ever stood on the blinding white sands of a deserted beach with only a towel wrapped around your waist and a rusty machete in your hand?"

I was jogging in place, "Um...no."

"He was a little under five feet tall. He had spindly legs and fingers that never stopped moving. We'd been out of food for two days. We were just standing there, breathing heavily. That's all we could do, stand and breathe. He was filthy, unshaven, had sand and grease in every pore of his mottled face and I'm sure I looked exactly the same. Depravity is when you feel the twitches of your eyeballs set deep in their sockets and realize the muscles are running on hate. Hate and fear. The body tears the sinews until it's all a writhing pile of jelly eating itself to death. He had a gleam in his eye. That's when I realized he was having fun. He was enjoying this. Long before we even met he'd been striving for hell. His own complete hell and madness. And it was right there. That's when I knew I'd win. He was having fun but I was hungry. I was ready to stand there until I had the chance to bury that machete in the side of his neck. And that's what would've happened if the world made sense. But as it stands, we're all part of a giant explosion that crams everything together and let's us figure it out. That was the moment I stopped trying.

Have you ever seen a Belgian Blue Cow? They're the most muscular animals on the planet. Just as the sun reached its peak a great beast came charging out from the waves. It stood before us with imperial grace. I never even looked back once. I jumped on its back and we journeyed up to the clouds and he let me off at an air-conditioned gas station outside of Corpus Christi.

Here's a piece of advice: if a Belgian Blue says it'll call you back. Don't believe it."

"...okay."

"Got any food?"

"I'll buy you a sandwich."

"I'd like that."