Weird Bird

Hey, weird bird. Man, you are looking so weird today.

Are you trying to write something on that piece of paper, weird bird? Why does it appear that you've jammed the pencil through the side of your lank, malleable bill? That doesn't seem convenient.

Weird bird, you can't just hop around in an old duffel bag instead of flying. Duffel-locomotion is still severely under researched and under-funded.  

You have too many eyes, pupils, and human-baby-hand-syndrome, weird bird.

I don't know what you're doing all the way over there, weird bird; but I bet it is something that is weird. Maybe you're ordering a special baseball bat made of lead and try to market yourself as a bargain pediatrician for the children of travelling salesman. That's a terrible demographic to cater to, weird bird! You leave those kids alone! They've been through enough.

Now stay in this man's ear and think about what you've done.