here's a bad joke

This guy goes to a bike store and he's looking around the floor of the store, just kinda wandering around aimlessly with a focused look on his face, brow furrowed. A woman working behind the counter notices him and after a while she says, "can I help you with anything?"

The man looks up and says, "All these bikes are already put together. I want to build my own bike. Do you have any spare parts?"

The woman says, "Yes, sir. As a matter of fact, if you'll follow me to the back, I think we have just what you need."

The woman goes to the back of the store and opens a plain wooden door and the man follows her into this unfinished back room. Inside are a ton of bins full of random bike parts in various stages of disrepair.

The man walks over to one of the bins and fishes out a pedal. He holds it up and says to the woman, "Now, I've never built a bike before. Heck, I've never even ridden one. I barely know what I'm doing. Do you have anyone that could recommend the right set of pedals for me?"

The woman says, "No, we don't have a pedal person."

The man sets down the pedals and says, "Alright."

He picks up some handlebars and says, "Anyone work here that could tell me what to look for in handlebars?"

The woman says, "No, we don't have a handlebars person."

The man sets down the handlebars and picks up a seat from another bin. "Could anyone tell me how to pick out a proper seat?"

The woman says, "No, we don't have a seat person."

The man drops the seat back into the bin, getting a little frustrated. He walks over to another bin and pulls out some brakes. He looks at the woman and says, "How about brakes?"

The woman says, "No, we don't have a brakes person."

The man picks up a frame and says, "How about a frame?"

The woman says, "No, I'm sorry sir, we don't have a frame person."

The man drops the frame and brakes and fishes out a set of gears and chains. "What about gears and chains. Do you know anyone that could explain what these are and how to attach them and use them properly?"

The woman scratches her head and says, "No, I don't think we have a gears and chains person."

The man picks up a wheel and says, "Can anyone tell me what this is and how to put it on a bike?!"

The woman says, "Oh yeah! I can help you there. I'm the spokesperson!"

i got a check

from my car insurance for $123. I don't know why.

Anyway, I haven't felt as much like myself lately. Probably because of the new teaching job. It's been taking a lot of time and attention. Mostly attention. Not all that much time actually.

Running has been going really well. I'm not running as much as last year but I'm doing a lot more fast stuff and today I did some strides in a grass field that felt really good. And on the run back I was floating. It was really nice.

I'm still doing art. I'm not as committed to it as I was a year ago. I would purposefully sit down every day, sometimes twice a day and crank out a drawing. Now I'll go a few days and not do much of anything. Or I'll work on a big piece every once in a while. But I'm not making a defined thing every day. Normally I'd come out of summer camp and start doing that again. Maybe I'll get back into that. Time just kinda gets away from me.

I don't really have to worry about money for this year. That's good. Back in the Spring I thought I was just going to lose money this year, a little bit every month. Now with the teaching job I'll come out ahead. That's good. I have enough saved that I could just not work for a year if I wanted. I don't think I'd like that though. I really enjoy afterschool. Today we sat around and watched some of the videos I took from last year. It was a ton of fun. Like watching home movies. I remember watching and enjoying them last year but they were extra special now that it's a new year.

some childhood memories I thought about today:

that time the street got painted with stars. what a cool time that was. the entire street was covered in stars. and it stayed like that for a while. I was really young when it happened so it didn't register as all that strange or unique at the time. Now I'm like, "wow, I've never heard or seen anything like that since."

this other time in 5th grade we were talking about idioms and metaphors and figurative language and trying to think of examples and the kid across from me, Garrett, told the teacher that his grandmother would say to his mom, "you look all fagged out", meaning really tired. And the teacher was upset and told him that was inappropriate. I was thinking about it during my run and it got me how that kid clearly did not have the best home situation and he inadvertently shared a really personal moment with everyone. Like he gave this glimpse into his mom having a hard time and he wasn't trying to make a joke and seemed like he really wanted to contribute to the conversation based on something he'd heard, and he just got totally smacked down for it. like completely rejected. Kinda bums me out to think about. 

tomorrow's goals

I need to teach them how to do the progress sheets at the start of class.

then a drawing game to go over expectations. 

respect each other- constructive criticism, allowing others to concentrate, includes me and I will respect them

respect yourself- effort, having a plan, being appropriate, being prepared

respect the space- cleaning, maintaining the materials, keeping up with the portfolio

then picking out portfolios

going over the syllabus 

going over the drawing unit

decorating the portfolio

finishing progress sheet for the day.

the big goals are to set them up to start drawing next week and also reign in some of the craziness of the first day. they were really really excited i think.

yeah!

first day teaching thoughts

they were really high energy. I mean, they were good kids. smart kids. motivated. but oh my gosh they did not stop talking and fidgeting. I wasn't really expecting that. But that's okay. The key will be giving them stuff to do. They seem like a motivated group, they just can't sit still for too long.

I was pretty soft on them today. But now I know their names. It'll get better. I'll lock it down. I don't know. I'm still not super excited about teaching. And having a crazy long day. I like afterschool and being outside and stuff. If I can be my laziest and most dirtbaggiest for a moment.

I do need the money though. And also, I don't think I should let my feelings dictate anything about the job for a while. Feelings are weird and they change.

I had a good moment in the last class with this kid who was quiet the whole time. The rest of the class was kinda crazy and loud for the most part and this kid had his head down and he was doodling the whole time. Towards the end I got a chance to talk to him and he made these really cool lunar modules and rockets and stuff. I talked to him about it a little and he was like, "These are the best drawings I've made in a few years." And I was like "no way! That's so cool. In this class just now?" And then he told them that he draws in class because it helps him listen

i was like ME TOO! I'M EXACTLY THE SAME!

So that was a great moment. Shout out to that kid. He made my whole day.

challenging myself

One thing I really liked about the boarding school I worked at was that it really challenged me to grow as a person. That was a huge sense of achievement and accomplishment. And then being on leadership at camp was a similar sense of achievement but a lot more fun. Those things were also exhausting.

Doing afterschool again last year was kind of a step down. Although I got to focus on running and art again and that felt good. The summer camp I worked at this year was also a step down because I was a counselor and the programs weren't as structured. The thing about growth is it's hard and can be stressful and it's nice to just be confident in what you do and not have many surprises. But I also miss growth after a while.

So, anyway, the point of saying all that is to try to frame how I'm feeling about starting teaching this week. I'm nervous. I'm not excited about it. But that's also exactly how I felt before I started at the boarding school. It tells me that I'm going to be challenged and by the end of it I will feel a sense of accomplishment and growth. I'll be a teacher. Which is kinda the one role I haven't checked off my list.

I've been a coach, a camp counselor, a residential counselor, a before-and-after school counselor, a challenge course instructor. Other than teacher I've never been a nanny/babysitter or a tutor.

Around this time a year ago I thought I might go be a counselor at a wilderness therapy program.

This will be a year where I challenge myself. And make more money. That's usually the other upside to challenging myself. The downside is on Tuesdays and Thursdays I'll leave the house before 8AM and probably get home close to 7PM. And then try to find time to run. Oof.

Oh well. At the boarding school I used to work 14-15 hour days and then run at like midnight. I've done worse.

first day of afterschool today

I didn't have to go in to prepare for the art class today. It feels really good to have my lazy morning schedule again. Going in for the first day of afterschool in a few hours.

Last year I focused a lot more attention on planning activities and as the year went on I got better at improvising and working with what the kids were already doing. Also, they don't pay me to plan so I got tired of putting in all those extra hours at home. But yeah, my goal is to improvise. Now that there's a culture in place and some behavior expectations are set, it should be a really good year.

After work I need to stop by and pick up my truck. They finished the inspection so I'm guessing it went well. And I should really start getting materials ready for the art class.

-introduction presentation
-get to know you handout
-introduction activity handout
-daily planner/progress handout
-expectations presentation
-portfolio handout/first unit outline

a lot of that stuff should be short and easy to make.