auto-pilot behavior

 One part of being any sort of leader to a group is figuring out how to help people choose to be a good person. Or you could say getting people to act the way you want them to act. But I think moral leadership involves allowing people to realize on their own that they want to be a good person and that they have the tools to be a good person and can use them. And I think it's murky water to swim in. It's really hard to have an actual conversation about values, especially in a group. A lot of it is unspoken and there are all sorts of power dynamics and maybe the biggest challenge is that a lot of words to talk about morality are really slippery and hollow and it's basically meaningless to tell someone to be good or be honest or be kind. In the same way that if you were tasked with baking a cake and needed help and the only advice you got was make it taste good. 

So anyway, if you can introduce a phrase or a concept that allows people to talk about something unspoken or values in a novel way then that can go a long way to forming a culture and group dynamic. I was watching this video about the idea of being in kindergarten and suddenly gaining self-awareness. This guy is pretending to be a kid in his kindergarten class and then all of a sudden there's this blinding white light and this ringing and he goes, " wait. where am I?" And he looks over at another kid and goes, "where are we??" And the kid says, "hahaha on the moon!" And the first kid goes, "oh you're no help. you're still on auto-pilot." 

Drawing attention to the fact that everyone has the potential to slip into auto-pilot and not really be present could be a really helpful thing. To me, being on auto-pilot is about having a want or need and without thinking about anyone else, using a behavior to try to get that want or need. It's sort of a different meaning than in the video but I think it's related. Some examples on a kid level would be like if you need physical touch but instead of recognizing that in any sort of way you grab someone or hit someone. Or like if you need attention and you blurt something out while someone else is talking or say something ridiculous that you know will get a reaction. Or if someone made you feel angry or sad and so you turn around and do something that makes someone else feel bad. That's auto-pilot behavior. That's doing the easiest most straightforward thing to try to get your needs met. 

To tie it back to the video, it's hard to be around someone when they're on auto-pilot. Like, there's not much someone can give when they're only concern is meeting a need and they don't even realize that's what they're doing. You know, you don't want to be this. It's kinda embarrassing to be caught acting this way and bringing down any group you're a part of. So maybe I'll float that idea this summer. auto-pilot behavior.