Tuesday, July 2, 2019

joke again

I thought this was implied but it occurred to me to say that these are not my original punchlines. I'm just taking mediocre jokes and making them worse with overly long setups. anyway, I'll attempt an entirely original joke:

There's a mother and a daughter together in a car and their going on a long trip to visit the grandmother. The daughter is in a teenager and she spends most of the trip on her phone but then her battery gets low so she puts the phone down and they sit in silence for a long time.

Eventually they pass through this little town on this rural highway their taking to grandma's house and the daughter says, "Hey, Mom?"

The mom says, "Yes?"

The daughter says, "Remember how you lost those earrings you really liked?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I know why they went missing. I wore them one day to school without telling you and I got in a fight after school and took them out before the fight and I never picked them up again. And then later I tried to look for them, but they were gone."

The mother is quiet for a long time and then she says, "Well, I kinda figured that you had taken them. And I appreciate you finally telling me the truth. Part of me wants to be mad but I'd be lying if I said I didn't do things like that when I was young too. But, you know why what you did was wrong, right?"

"Yes, Mom. I'll never do that again."

Some more time goes by. They pass through another little two stoplight town.

The daughter says, "Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Remember how the dog went missing and we never find him and then a few months later I told you that I won cruise tickets in a math contest at school?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I know what happened to the dog. And also I never won a math contest at school. Our school doesn't have a math contest. I sold the dog to a guy who paid in cash and demanded I not ask any questions."

The Mom sighs. "You know how much I loved our dog. I think about him every day still. But...I also think about that cruise and how much fun we had. I'd be lying if I said I didn't understand why you did what you did. But you know that was wrong, right?"

"Yes. I will never do that again."

More time goes by. They're almost to grandma's house.

The daughter takes a deep breath and says, "Mom?"

"Yes?"

"You remember that report on the news about the Arby's that caught on fire the same night I was at my friend Michelle's house for a sleepover?"

The mom says, "You went to Arby's?!"

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arby's being a punchline isn't really original either. I'm open to suggestions for how to end it.

1 comment:

Cassiar Memekio said...

Hahahaha this is amazing