Thing with a Ring

My toaster is infinity.

What?

About 15 minutes ago I was hauling down the highway. I had my high-beams on for no reason and a toaster in my passenger seat. Actually, I did have my high beams on for a reason. The toaster I had no reason for. Except for toast. Anyway, I was chasing beams of light. That's what I do for a living. I chase light. I'm not like a bounty-hunter or anything. I'm an enthusiast. Sometimes these crazy rays spin out of the sun and they end up on Earth. They zip around looking awesome. I catch them in a modified ant farm and sell them out of my truck. So, I'm on the highway, with my toaster, and up ahead I this long thin ribbon of purple and blue. It's floating just about the double yellow line. It's a real beauty. Did I say I had my high beams on? That's not true. You don't use your high beams. You chase light by turning your high beams off. Then you follow the light in front of you. That's the fun part. It's just you, the dark, and the cool blue stream of whatever going wherever. You know, so you do that for a few days and see where you end up. But I was getting low on gas so I stopped here to fill up. I haven't eaten or slept in three weeks. It's the craziest thing. I thought I was a banana yesterday. I climbed into a shopping cart strapped to a rocket. Crank stop gel lit tooth pop fish wrap. Punkin pie.

Speaker: Ned Ternsten

Addressee: Ned Ternsten (gas station attendant, neither of them realize they have the same name, and birthday, and parents' names)

Themes: Light is cool.