The Splattermin did everything he could. His drive was supreme. He saw the Robort at dusk, mourning the loss of his toaster. The toaster was like a small mouse or ferret to the Robort.
"Congratulations on your happy day!" said the Splattermin, bounding over to the Robort with his head cocked cheerfully to the side, beaming up at the mask of anguish on the Robort's face.
"I am not happy, mister Sir. I have lost my dearest toaster." blubbered the Robort.
"Congratulations on your happy day!" said the Splattermin, bounding over to the Robort with his head cocked cheerfully to the side, beaming up at the mask of anguish on the Robort's face.
"I am not happy, mister Sir. I have lost my dearest toaster." blubbered the Robort.
"ha-Ha!" said the Splattermin, "Sure, you're happy! This is happiness."
"No! No!" The Robort shook his head, spilling tears of battery acid all around him. "This is sadness. You are very confused."
"I know what I'm talking about, Mr. Robort. There is no other moment where you can be happier than this. Don't tell me you're waiting for some kind of permission to be happy. You couldn't possibly be hoping for a magic alignment of events to feel good. Imagine only breathing when the right puff of air comes along. Preposterous. You can try to tell me you're not breathing, Robort, but I will call you a silly liar."
"If this is happiness, I don't want it." cried the Robort, looking down at this toaster.
"I know what I'm talking about, Mr. Robort. There is no other moment where you can be happier than this. Don't tell me you're waiting for some kind of permission to be happy. You couldn't possibly be hoping for a magic alignment of events to feel good. Imagine only breathing when the right puff of air comes along. Preposterous. You can try to tell me you're not breathing, Robort, but I will call you a silly liar."
"If this is happiness, I don't want it." cried the Robort, looking down at this toaster.
"Well, there you go," said the Splattermin.
"This is making me sad. I want to be sad right now!"
"Well, there you go," said the Splattermin.
"I mean, I am sad," said the Robort. "You can't control it."
"Except when you decide the conditions of your own happiness. There are only these moments, Robort. Not much more or less remarkable than this once you've been around it long enough. Don't poo-poo them for not being good enough for happiness."
"Except when you decide the conditions of your own happiness. There are only these moments, Robort. Not much more or less remarkable than this once you've been around it long enough. Don't poo-poo them for not being good enough for happiness."
"I will not apologize for having standards!"
"Standards for what? Protecting yourself from happiness? You let yourself feel bad and call it undeniable. But you only want happiness on your own terms. I submit, Mr. Robort, you don't want happiness at all, you want control. You want control of the things that happen around you, this is what gives you pleasure. To be happy, to decide your happiness, would be to give up your hope of controlling what happens in exchange for controlling how you feel about it."
And then the Robort engaged his awesome arsenal of radioactive missiles and titanium limbs of smashing, and with the firing up of his rocket boots, it was so ON!
"Standards for what? Protecting yourself from happiness? You let yourself feel bad and call it undeniable. But you only want happiness on your own terms. I submit, Mr. Robort, you don't want happiness at all, you want control. You want control of the things that happen around you, this is what gives you pleasure. To be happy, to decide your happiness, would be to give up your hope of controlling what happens in exchange for controlling how you feel about it."
And then the Robort engaged his awesome arsenal of radioactive missiles and titanium limbs of smashing, and with the firing up of his rocket boots, it was so ON!
Speaker: Master Chuck, the Sandwich/ Burrito kung-fu delivery Master
Audience: Parking lots and Grocery Carts
Themes: Licking? and the misspelling of Robot
1 comment:
This is a really good dialogue.
This part has a mythical quality to it:
"Imagine only breathing when the right puff of air comes along. Preposterous. You can try to tell me you're not breathing, Robort, but I will call you a silly liar."
Haha and I love how that is the speaker for all of this.
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