It was picture day today. In honor of picture day, I made this picture terrible. Looking back, I wish I had taken the opportunity to realize that picture day teaches us that everyone has the same self-consciousness and inner loathing that we feel we alone must hide and endure to get along in the world. It also teaches us to single out those who appear genuinely proud of their pictures and shun them mercilessly.
I don't hate school. I like school. Would I say it's a positive experience on a day-to-day basis for most students? No. But you're not there to be entertained. You're there to learn and learning comes from failure. But failure is funny. Failure is useful. Failure is scary.
I feared failure. I definitely fear failure in school more than I enjoy success. And that's probably not the way I'd like it to be. But, at the same time, by my own standards, as best as I can judge so far, it worked. So, I don't really know where I stand. Maybe I would rather fear failure than want success.
I think, maybe, that you're asked to do a lot of different things in school. And, of those things, you can probably only want to succeed in a few of them. There are only so many things that you give you satisfaction just for doing them. But you're asked to do a lot more than that. And maybe you haven't even found that thing yet. But there's no limit to the amount of things you can fear failing. My capacity for fear is a boundless ocean. So, because we live in an imperfect world where you can't be fascinated with everything, maybe school allows us to manage and use that fear of failure while also hopefully providing that outlet where we want to succeed. Maybe. Most of it will probably become useless and the stuff that is relevant will only be apparent many years later.
I don't hate school. I like school. Would I say it's a positive experience on a day-to-day basis for most students? No. But you're not there to be entertained. You're there to learn and learning comes from failure. But failure is funny. Failure is useful. Failure is scary.
I feared failure. I definitely fear failure in school more than I enjoy success. And that's probably not the way I'd like it to be. But, at the same time, by my own standards, as best as I can judge so far, it worked. So, I don't really know where I stand. Maybe I would rather fear failure than want success.
I think, maybe, that you're asked to do a lot of different things in school. And, of those things, you can probably only want to succeed in a few of them. There are only so many things that you give you satisfaction just for doing them. But you're asked to do a lot more than that. And maybe you haven't even found that thing yet. But there's no limit to the amount of things you can fear failing. My capacity for fear is a boundless ocean. So, because we live in an imperfect world where you can't be fascinated with everything, maybe school allows us to manage and use that fear of failure while also hopefully providing that outlet where we want to succeed. Maybe. Most of it will probably become useless and the stuff that is relevant will only be apparent many years later.
School Pictures.
You can't always get what you want, but if you fear failure, you get what you don't really want but are compelled to get.
No comments:
Post a Comment