ShovelJaw

Hellome Everywell! My name is ShovelJaw and I'm an Intergalactic Dirt Farmer. It's a lucrative make money magnate. People call me ShovelJaw because of my friendly demeanor and my face. Some people wonder who a dirt farmer earns his daily grits. It's simply really. I call up my buddy Preston and he delivers a big pile of dirt to me planet which was formerly a geometry teacher's Honda Civic. In the future, there's a way to combine a Honda Civics with dirt to form a planet. It's simply really. In fact, they're still looking for a way that you can combine dirt and a Honda Civic and NOT form a planet. They go together so well. Anyway, I take some dirt out of my heap and I throw it at something flying by like a monster truck or a comet or somebody's younger brother and if life grows from that dirty, they'll eventually be intelligent enough to know I created them and they owe me $25 Space Bucks. It's been a pretty good deal so far. I've sowed my seeds wide and far. Sometimes I eat the dirt for fun.

One time, I met a magic soap salesman who unlocked my own memory of being born. I lost the soap...