Bolfman

In the ancient lore of the Grizzled Hags, there is a tale of pure fright that is told so often that is now fiercely defended as truth. The Tale of the Bolfman can never be forgotten. The Bolfman is a fearsome creature, standing at 5' 7'', 185 lbs. He's patched with fur like a wolf and a man and some other weird creature all fused together in an unholy union. He stalks public bathrooms and steals all the toilet paper just before you enter the stall. You, as the unsuspecting victim, experience your first jolt of terror when you realize you have no TP for wiping. But, that is only a preliminary shock because you realize that a meager scrap lingers on the floor just at the far edge of the stall. You lean hard, with your pants resting around your ankles, to try to reach it. Just as your quivering finger is about to press down on the paper, it scoots out of reach. The true manic horror begins when you are compelled to leave the safety of the seat, still severely bent over, and burst out of the stall in full-waddle. Your single-minded pursuit of the ever-retreating paper leads you past the sinks, waste-basket, and paper towel dispenser and straight for the exit. And then, just like all victims of the Bolfman, the last thing you see before you reenter society is the face of the Bolfman. He laughs. Then he cries. Then he laughs again. He finally disappears while crying. But now, everyone in Target is staring at the pantsless man who has just let the single square of One-Ply toilet paper float gently to the floor as a look on his face suggests he has just emerged from a thick, muddled haze.

Speaker: Ranger Frank, Urban Ranger.

Audience: Two unruly punks caught chuckling in a manner suggesting defiance and disregard for citizenship.

Themes: Dark forces responsible for flexing enormous amounts of supernatural strength to bring out mundane amounts of embarrassment and confusion.