Best Case Scenario

A Letter From the Future

RADIOACTIVE ROBOT WOLVES!

"If you are reading this, try not to dry-heave in fear over what you are about to be told. I am trapped in the future. I know it is the future because the money is purple and everyone has a third eye. I don't remember how I got here. One day, I woke up and I was in the future...also I was in a puddle of cold water and wearing a rubber jumpsuit.

The important thing for you to remember is that when the Radioactive Robot Wolves try to run for President of the United States, everyone will think it is really cool and want to do it. You must tell everyone that is not cool to vote for the Radioactive Robot Wolves. They will try to convince you that you are wrong and that the founding fathers would have been stoked out of their brains to elect cybernetic mammals to the highest office in the land. Do not give in. 

The Radioactive Robot Wolves will be wearing suits and ties and will try to promise you things like faster trains, shinier pants, and bigger boxes of breakfast cereal, but this is not what they will actually do. In the future I live in, the Radioactive Robot Wolves have eaten the Constitution, legally changed everyone's name to Pants P. Prindleston, and made the number 7 extinct. Every day we must gather in the center of our towns and sing new and original songs that praise the Wolf Overlords. We are not allowed to repeat songs and they must have rhyming words. When we are not singing, we are desperately trying to think of new lyrics to please the Radioactive Robot Wolves.

Please, you must help change the future. You must summon up all your energy and blast it in to the future like a blazing log of pepperoni. Maybe then we can make the world a better place.

Sincerely,

Pants P. Prindleston