The Toast Speaketh Further

All I want to do is make these pictures, you guys. Right now, at this moment, this is all I can envision myself doing. And in the future I'll be living in the Men's Room of a Barnes and Noble and they'll call me the Birdman because my sweater is covered in feathers. I'll become incredibly dense and slow-moving and less susceptible to cold weather.

I'll make pictures of this piece of toast in various situations reciting quotes from the Enchiridion and people will call me the Birdman because of my beautiful singing voice. I'll wake up at 5 in the morning every morning and accomplish a lot of things. I'll go on a lot of adventures and explore lots of little corners and alleys that you pass by all the time but never bother to investigate and when you do it's like you're in a brand new part of the world except it's just this little pocket surrounded by familiarity. I'll teach people about emotions and I'll have three toes on each foot so people will call me the Birdman.

I'll ask people for directions to a lot of different places all at once. Like, "How do I get from Wal-Mart to Lowes to 7-11 to my dream mansion?" I'll be incredibly dense so I won't be very popular with public transportation. I won't transport myself a lot of the time. My inertness doesn't mean worthless. I'll walk around with my hands shoved in my armpits all the time so people will call me the Birdman. As long as you live your life based on the choices you want to make, you probably won't be a shmoe.

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Let's talk about how much I hate this picture! Okay, first of all, I ruined it with those stupid words in that stupid font. They're totally unrelated to what's happening. Also, nothing is happening!

What is that blue guy supposed to represent? Someone who allows hindrances to their body be hindrances to their ability to choose? I guess that's what we're supposed to assume. But he's just staring at his with his giant vacuous eyes. I can't see his frustration with life! So, right away, the premise is terrible.

The toast is okay. It's the third time I've drawn him and he's developing his own...style.

But the blue guy just looks all fuzzy and smudgy. What is he supposed to be? Is his green hair balding? It needs sharper contrasts, better...lines and shapes and stuff.  Where's the depth, you amateur?! I kinda like the blue of his skin but why's it all smudgy?! Did I just absent-mindedly smear some darker blue over one side of his face? Is that what I did? Is it? Yeah. It is.

But at least I failed enough to learn from it. And as the Enchiridion says, "If your baby dies, it's probably not that big of a deal."

(seriously, it says that. Like, a couple of times.)