balancing reflections

 I was reflecting on something that happened at coaching today when I realized that I spend a lot more time focusing on negative interactions than positive ones. I guess it's the negative ones you have the most to learn from but it's the positive ones that keep you going so you can't be too one-sided.

Anyway the positive ones that came to mind were

-I was at a climbing competition the other weekend talking to a parent about how their son was doing really well and they told me that climbing was the first time thing child had ever really gotten into --like fully invested in something. So that was incredible. That's such a pivotal moment in a person's life and I was there when they first tried out for a team ever.

-At the end of practice last Friday a parent came up to me and told me how much their daughter appreciated the climbing club and they were so glad that their kid was making friends because it was sometimes hard for them to open up to people. Every other sport their child had joined led to them being pressured to compete which took all the fun out of it so the parent was really glad that her kid could do something active with kids her age and have fun. So, that's like, the most powerful thing in the world. Really. I truly believe that's the most powerful thing in the world and I get to be a part of that so...shoot. crazy.

Anyway that felt good to process. But really the thing I was dwelling on is sometimes I run into kids who have this attitude of "this thing is impossible for me" and also "I know more than you and nothing you can say will convince me otherwise." Which, it's happened to me enough times now that I should recognize it right away and not take the bait but--darn, it got me again. 

I think the natural instinct when someone says they can't do something that you think they can do is to 1) tell them you think they can do it and 2) try to offer suggestions on how they can do it. So that's what I did but then it quickly turns into an argument about who's right and if the kid wants to prove they can't do something--well, they can just not do it. 

It's such a trip too because there's this layer of "you don't know what you're talking about" and it's so hard for me to not go into 'I do know what I'm talking about because of this and this and this and this!" 

But in a rational space it's a really simple answer. Don't take the bait. Don't engage with the argument. Offer something else to do. 

You can't win a pity party, even by being right.