I bought a scrubdaddy a few weeks ago

 And now every time I use it I think 'Our ScrubFather, hallowed by thy name..."

all of my asymmetries that I can think of

 I part my hair to the left

My right eye is higher than my left eye

My left nostril is bigger than my right nostril

My left arm is stronger than my right arm

My right hand is stronger than my left hand

I have a mole to the left of my belly button

My left leg is stronger than my right leg

My left ankle has better range of motion than my right ankle

My right big toe has better range of motion than my left big toe

My left toenails are rougher looking than my right toenails

hypothesis to investigate by the end of the year

 I think I have an overpowered sweat gland in my right armpit. It just happened and it's happened many times before where before I start sweating properly I'll feel a bullet of sweat slide down my side from my armpit. I want to catch this thing on camera. I think it's an event. I think it's like when lizards shoot blood out of their eyes. We've gotta study this for science.

CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

every border implies the violence of its maintenance

 I saw this on instagram in a joking context and thought 'what a good quote!' then I looked it up and its on t-shirts and stuff. It's still a really good quote. 

And then seeing it on the t-shirt reminded me of a conversation I had a long time ago where a friend said, 'the best way to stop a revolution is to commodify it.' 

And now I'm sitting here thinking that if its so easy to turn any revolution into a commodity then that must say something about how we participate in society and what 'revolution' means. 

If I was in charge of me and wanted to keep me out of the way I guess I would give myself a sense of complacency and security to make it easy to ignore any sort of injustices or atrocities and then if I tried to leave that place of security there could be the threat of violence for acting out of order AND also the threat of something becoming popular to the point that it loses its original intention and just becomes a thing that's popular because it's popular. Right?

And so in the sphere of influence that you do have, I think the most powerful thing you can control is the way you treat people. The people who have lifted me up and helped me the most are the people who have had the biggest impact on my life.

I don't really know if all that adds up.

A conversation I had today with someone was about how everyone's sinuses are wildly different. This is unrelated I just wanted to check to see if I remembered it right and I did! The tubes and canals in our face are wildly different!

The anatomy of the nasal cavities and paranasal sinuses is one of the most varied in the human body.

my friend Chris is probably my favorite artist of all time

 https://youtu.be/0mNTHRF_u-Y?si=WWNmbVxhQeHR1dPs

you ever think about infinity?

 Not me. I top out around 150. I learned all the gen 1 Pokemon and haven't expanded my capacity since.

what's one thing you wish you could make yourself believe absolutely?

Taking Two Weeks Off From Running

 It's been I-don't-know-how-many years since I've taken two weeks off from running but I could definitely use a break and next week I'll be in Florida where it will be easier to just not run anyway. 

Starting in the Spring and continuing indefinitely I will be on the Billy Madison/Ricky Bobby campaign. 

In Billy Madison, Adam Sandler is an incompetent man-baby who has to redo his entire K-12 education in one year. In Ricky Bobby, Will Ferrell plays a competent man-baby who yells, 'I want to go fast!'

In April I'm going to act like I'm starting running all over again. Working from short to long. I'll start by working on the 100 meters and then when I feel like I've plateaued I'll go to the 200. Then the 400. Up and up. 

I've always been more of a true distance runner than an athlete who runs long distance. Something climbing has taught me is that I can make progress in my athleticism. I'm definitely not the most talented but once I got over the fact that I wasn't as good at jumping and lifting then it started to be fun. 

So that's the plan. Woo!

Charlottesville 10 miler

I don't like cold rain. But it was a decent effort overall. I want to take a break from road races until I feel like a different runner.

the truck is renewed

 I'll tell you right now that I'm never going to stop saying it and it's never going to stop being true

I 

love

driving

pawpaw's

truck.

It will never not make me happy. It will never not make my day better. The radio always sounds good. The sky always looks blue. 

One of the tires looked low so I was checking the pressure and a nice woman walking her dog told me a gas station with free air. I went to the gas station and put in the free air and the truck rode so smooth and nice. It was bless. A smooth third gear. You can't beat it.

Happy Vernal Equinox.

balancing reflections

 I was reflecting on something that happened at coaching today when I realized that I spend a lot more time focusing on negative interactions than positive ones. I guess it's the negative ones you have the most to learn from but it's the positive ones that keep you going so you can't be too one-sided.

Anyway the positive ones that came to mind were

-I was at a climbing competition the other weekend talking to a parent about how their son was doing really well and they told me that climbing was the first time thing child had ever really gotten into --like fully invested in something. So that was incredible. That's such a pivotal moment in a person's life and I was there when they first tried out for a team ever.

-At the end of practice last Friday a parent came up to me and told me how much their daughter appreciated the climbing club and they were so glad that their kid was making friends because it was sometimes hard for them to open up to people. Every other sport their child had joined led to them being pressured to compete which took all the fun out of it so the parent was really glad that her kid could do something active with kids her age and have fun. So, that's like, the most powerful thing in the world. Really. I truly believe that's the most powerful thing in the world and I get to be a part of that so...shoot. crazy.

Anyway that felt good to process. But really the thing I was dwelling on is sometimes I run into kids who have this attitude of "this thing is impossible for me" and also "I know more than you and nothing you can say will convince me otherwise." Which, it's happened to me enough times now that I should recognize it right away and not take the bait but--darn, it got me again. 

I think the natural instinct when someone says they can't do something that you think they can do is to 1) tell them you think they can do it and 2) try to offer suggestions on how they can do it. So that's what I did but then it quickly turns into an argument about who's right and if the kid wants to prove they can't do something--well, they can just not do it. 

It's such a trip too because there's this layer of "you don't know what you're talking about" and it's so hard for me to not go into 'I do know what I'm talking about because of this and this and this and this!" 

But in a rational space it's a really simple answer. Don't take the bait. Don't engage with the argument. Offer something else to do. 

You can't win a pity party, even by being right.

ankle dorsiflexion

 The other day I did the 'knee to wall test' and confirmed what I was already pretty sure of--I have tight ankles. The test is measuring your ability to bend your knee beyond your big toe without your heel leaving the ground. It's relevant to running although I'm not entirely sure how. I think it has something to do with where your landing and how efficiently you can transfer energy into your next stride. Something like that.

For about a week now I've been working on it and I've seen a big improvement! At that start my left knee could only get about 3 inches past my toe and my right knee was even worse--like 2.5 inches. Now I'm probably close to 4 inches with both knees. Standards vary but it seems like normal range of motion is somewhere between 5 and 6 inches. 

I had the thought today that I've learned and applied more about running mechanics in the past year than I have in the previous 20 years of running. It's finding stuff like this that keeps running fun and interesting for me. I can't exactly explain it but my stride has felt smoother lately. Similar to when I started strengthening my hips. 

I remember when running every day for 70 minutes was a new exciting experience and now after about 10 years--more or less--of that, the things that really motivate me are very basic mechanical changes. When they're effective they really make running feel new. You think you know your body and what it can do and then you change something and suddenly there's a lot more potential to be uncovered. So that's exciting.

In the same vein I'm really looking forward to acquiring some serious SPEED and EXPLOSIVE power after the 10 miler. Big day in a week! Should be fun. Hoping the weather is above 50 and not rainy. Fingers crossed.

being a safe person for someone's anger

 Yesterday I was coaching and I made up this climbing game where there was a leaderboard and the kids would challenge each other to trying certain climbs and then they would move up or down the leaderboard accordingly. They're a pretty competitive group and I knew there was risk of people getting upset so I tried to preface it as much as possible that it was just for fun and not worth getting upset over and if there were any arguments then the coaches would try to find a fair solution.

Anyway we have this one girl who's a good climber and she was in the top spot and every time someone challenged her for the top spot and she defended it, she would get a point. The game lasted for about 45 minutes and after 40 minutes she had 4 points but was also looking pretty tired and like, the pressure was clearly building. She's a competitive person to begin with. We've got about 5 minutes left and another kid has challenged her and is doing the climb that she will have to do and as we're watching I say to her, "Well, given how much time is left, you've kinda got this thing locked up." Nobody could have been in the top spot and defended 5 times before the end. So she gets on the climb and gets tripped up by one part and falls off and immediately she turns to me, red in the face, and says, "You jinxed me! You messed me up!"

The game ends and she's still won but she didn't go undefeated and end in the top spot and she stayed mad at me. She stayed mad at me all the way to the end of practice. 

My guess as to what happened was there was a lot of pressure and in that moment there was a lot of frustration and I was a person she could direct that frustration towards. It would be wrong to be mad at the other climbers but there's still a lot of emotion that has to go somewhere. I just kinda owned it. I apologized and said that wasn't my intention and that I won't say things like that in the future. And played along with being called annoying and bad.

I can definitely understand really wanting to do something and failing and having a big reaction. I know that feeling. The interesting thing to me was that what I said before she tried the climb was intended to take the pressure off. But the reaction after was like I'd been antagonizing. I could be totally wrong but it really feels like the reaction was less of a 'you're a big jerk and I'm mad at you' and more of a 'I can't deal with everything going on right now and I'm going to have to make it your problem in the meantime'. And I think that's fair. As a coach I'm here for that. Also, like, despite my efforts to the contrary I still set up a somewhat high stakes game with direct competition. So, that's for sure on me.

I'd much rather frame someone's anger and frustration towards me as them trying to manage a difficult situation than an attack on me. Right? Unless I really messed up. Then I just deserve it. 

 on the foil poptart wrapper it says 'Do Not Microwave in this Pouch'

why is there a 'this' there?

is it because poptarts themselves are technically a pouch of sorts

would people read 'Do Not Microwave in Pouch'

and think they need to remove the contents of the poptart

microwave that

and then put it back in?

 a quality I like about myself is that 99% of the time I don't feel pressured to act a certain way that is working against myself. Like if I'm doing something, that's more or less who I am in that moment all the way down. Which I think saves a lot of energy. And I think there are a lot of sides to myself but they all feel like me still. So, I like that. I like knowing that that's something I've worked to develop. Lord knows I ain't perfect but I must've done something right.

rest day gotta be a rest day

 Normally Saturday is my dedicated rest day where I try to move as little as possible. Yesterday I coached an all day climbing comp and wasn't able to rest much or eat very well. Thought about running today but decided I needed an actual rest day. Also it's super windy and kinda gross out.

Here's to having a great day tomorrow!

 two boys sitting side by side in chairs facing an empty climbing wall, hand in hand and chanting "GO NO-BO-DY GO NO-BO-DY GO NO-BO-DY GO NO-BO-DY!" without stopping

mini-update

Including Sunday I've had 5 great days of running in a row. Too early to say anything for sure but I think 10-20 minute workouts 4 times a week is the way to go. I was liking 5 to 7 mile sessions for a bit but one thing that's hard to avoid is having days where my legs feel really dead. It's nice to not have a slogging day.

a thoughtarooni out of the ol noggin caboggin

 Oh man I thought I had a hot and fresh thought-a-rooni out of the ol noggin-caboggin 

oh here's one

A thousand sorrys worth less than-no

One sorry is worth--no wait

If you had to say sorry then--

If you had to say sorry a thousand times then you shouldn't have--

Ask for someone to say sorry before you beg for forgiveness

No

Ask for forgiveness then say sorry then ask for permission then do it anyway and say sorry

No

Twenty sorrys in a bush is worth two birds with one stone

If you had to say sorry then you could have just said goodbye--no

Sorrys are like goodbyes you can only say them a thousand times

No

Don't feel sorry for yourself, say sorry to yourself

Sorry self

Sorry people sorry people

No

If it was easy to say sorry people would do it all the time and it is so they do

No

The hardest things to say in the English language are I'm sorry, I forgive you, and I'm not sorry and I don't forgive you

No

Is it still too late to say sorry? I need an extension on the deadline

Sorry only means sorry if you don't do it again but if you do it again then you still have to say double sorry

Sorry comes from the word sorrow. Probably. I don't know. No. It doesn't. It's actually related to the word 'sore'. The sorrow connection is unrelated and is because of a vowel change or something.

Instead of sorry just say 'PAIN'

I've almost finished the 20lb bag of Costco quick brown rice that I've had since at least 2013

 That thing has probably gone years at a time without being touched but I'm finally nearing the finish line. Proud of myself. Proud of Costco. The world was a different place back when I started making my way through that bag of rice. I was a different person. 

It just goes to show that if you put off something long enough, it gets old.

just under 3 weeks out from the 10 miler

I had a bit of a rough week with my calves being sore and rainy windy conditions on Wednesday. I did a big climbing and lifting session Friday night and then couldn't recover as much as I would've liked yesterday because of coaching. All that to say that my 4x2mile workout was not ideal. Ran 1 rep in 11:01 and then hit 'low battery' mode. I was pretty bummed because I really wanted this one to go well but in hindsight I can understand why I felt the way I did. 

In this block, I've done 7 miles close to race pace. I've done 2x4 miles. I've done 3x3200. All those workouts basically accomplish the same thing as the one I wanted to do today. The fitness is there. As much as I would have liked to prove it to myself one more time, it doesn't negate what I've already done. 

For the next two weeks I'm going to focus on running 4 smaller workouts per week instead of 2 big sessions. The overall volume will be about the same and it should leave me feeling less exhausted. This is something I'd like to do more after the 10 miler anyway so it should be a fun experiment. 

I've learned to not necessarily trust feeling tired or low motivation before a big workout and today I gave it an honest effort and it still wasn't having it so a change will be good.