Sunday, November 26, 2023

here's what I think should have happened in Shrek 2

 To understand Shrek 2, we have to understand the first film, Shrek. A lot of people think Shrek is a love story. The culmination of the first film is the union of Shrek and Fiona. The second film continues this line of thought by showing the challenges of marriage. But this is flawed. The failure of the second Shrek movie is that it ends exactly where it started, Shrek and Fiona in a happy marriage. Sure they overcome challenges and the Fairy Godmother sings I Need a Hero but this is all noise. I haven't rewatched the second movie or bothered to look at a synopsis but I feel confident in saying that the movie ends with Shrek and Fiona in a happy marriage. Nothing else about the characters or their relationship or the world that we actually cared about before the movie started has changed. That's not a plot for a movie. That's a plot for a TV show. 

In the first movie, Shrek begins the movie happy in his swamp, terrifying villagers. He ends the movie happy in his swamp with an ogre wife. That's progression. That's the hero's journey. Normalcy, a disruption, a journey, a reckoning, a return to normalcy with a difference. But to have a proper sequel, Shrek can't just be a love story. As we've discussed, there's nothing to build upon there. Shrek is a movie about a guy killing a vicious tyrant, Lord Farquaad. Lord Farquaad at the beginning of the first movie is trying to round up all the fairy tale creatures and they seek refuge in Shrek's swamp so Shrek has to go to the kingdom of Duloc to stop Lord Farquaad. And then later Lord Farquaad gets eaten by a dragon. 

The movie takes a hard turn at the end into the love story but the change Shrek has affected cannot be ignored. This is the fundamental change that occurs in the first Shrek movie. The toppling of a ruthless monarch. And so the sequel of Shrek can only be about one of two things. Either a) Lord Farquaad returns somehow and Shrek must vanquish him again or b) in the power vacuum left behind, Shrek must fill in as the ruler of the land. Both of these plots have been done before and neither is very interesting. Shrek defeating Lord Farquaad again has the same problem as the actual sequel. It doesn't actually go anywhere. The second plot where Shrek learns to rule doesn't have a lot of opportunities for drama. In the first movie, Shrek goes from this outsider and monster to a hero and a revolutionary. And then in the proposed second movie he goes from a revolutionary to leader--a setter and enforcer of the new status quo. But that's not a fun movie to watch. That's a long, complex, difficult process. It might take generations of slow and inconsistent change. The first movie is resolved with a guy being eaten by a dragon. The second movie would be like watching paint dry. 

But here's the fix. Here's what makes it interesting. Donkey turns evil. This is what needs to happen for Shrek 2 to work. Because I'm sure you remember that Donkey and Dragon fall in love. And technically the Dragon is the one that eats Lord Farquaad. Everyone gives Shrek all the credit because it's his swamp and he's part of the major love arc but Donkey was just as much a part of the coup. So now in the 2nd movie, Shrek and Donkey have some disagreement about who has the true claim as the ruler of the former kingdom of Duloc and tensions escalate and lines are drawn and forces are mustered and there's an all-out war between the fairy tale creatures and the people of the realm and then in the end Shrek and Donkey are fighting in the courtyard of Shrek's Swamp Tower and the Dragon tries to eat Shrek like Lord Farquaad but Shrek punches his way out of the back of the Dragon's throat and the Dragon chokes to death and so Donkey in a fit of rage runs a sword through Shrek's ogre-heart and in that moment their eyes meet and Donkey remembers that all he ever really wanted was a friend and Shrek was that friend and Shrek remembers that all he ever really wanted was to be alone and everyone ruined that for him and he dies and with a heavy heart Donkey becomes the ruler of the land and builds a giant mud statue for Shrek and everyone lives in isolation with minimal contact because Shrek taught everyone that we're all monsters on the inside and when we gather together as a society, we become even more monstrous and not even the true friendship of Donkey and Shrek could overcome that so everyone just keeps to themselves.

somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place

I said, yep, what a concept, I could use a little fuel myself and we could all use a little change

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