I just don't want to end up living a lie, y'know

I don't want to reach some point where I realize that everything I thought was important doesn't matter at all. 

Well, I mean, I guess it could also be liberating too. Like if you end up realizing something that feels more important. You can never know for sure that you're not living a lie. But maybe you can have some sense of whether you enjoyed it or not. I do think you can know how you felt about it. And right now I feel good about it.