things you can say to anyone

what does it say about a person who would give up the use of one of their hands to hold an umbrella in the rain? how desperate are they to avoid water?

nose. no's. knows. The no's a nose knows. What are the no's a nose knows? Stinky stuff, probably.

If it happened to be butter from a long time ago, well then.

Scarcely anyone can see in this fog. (you can only say this one if there is fog.)

Oh. Better ask the police for permission first.

Leg plus leg. Double leg.

Leg end. Legend. Foot. A foot is a leg end. 

One trick that's useful is that if you ball certain things up then they'll look more like balls than what they normally look like.

Yesterday I paid with cash at the grocery store and the guy gave me change and I counted the change and checked the receipt to make sure he gave me the proper amount. He did. It was 56 cents. Then when I took my keys out to unlock my truck, the change that was in the pocket fell out and landed in the snow. I stopped and looked for the change and found it all. 56 cents.