Today Wasn't

A great day at work but it was the kind of day where maybe I'll look back on it and think 'Yeah, that was a day.' I'm in the Annex right now with my ankles crossed sitting upright on the futon with my feet on the coffee table. On the coffee table is a peach, two bananas, a fork, MTG cards, an orange box of some kind of snack food and a plastic bag with a takeout box in it. The annex looks pretty clean because counselors had to clean it earlier today before they started their roughly 36 hours off. I was sad earlier that campers were leaving. And that I had to go into work immediately after and didn't get to sit in on the debriefing session. I think camp feels more like a family because, on the whole, things tend to run a whole lot smoother. I'm staring into space a whole lot right now and the keys are sticky because I started to eat a grapefruit but then decided to write instead. My foot really really hurt today and it was spiking on my drive back home. I'm icing it with an ice pack on the floor. There's an empty cardboard box on the floor by the fridge. I'm exhausted. I think right now I'm in a safe spot. This room is safe and this camp is safe and good things happen when I'm here. This camp makes me happy. Like, really happy. I was thinking earlier today about how I don't tend to sit with emotions or own them. I'm usually 'okay' or 'doing good' which really just means pleasantly neutral to mildly anxious or frustrated. But earlier I felt really sad that it was closing day at camp and I tried to just sit with the feeling and be sad. And have that emotion be more at the forefront of my mind. Being more emotionally aware and thinking about how you act differently or perceive things or think differently based on that feeling. Naming feelings and recognizing that you have them. I must work at a therapeutic school.