Spastitude

What we have here is a textbook case of a green, pink-pants'd dinosaur man about to do battle with a disgruntled and sentient pile of spaghetti.

This kind of thing is happening all the time.

But some of you might be thinking, "Andy, sweet boy, don't you think this is a little morally ambiguous and irreverent to be the most lasting and significant contribution to our culture in the last 300 years?"

And to that I say, "Listen, turdblossom, before you cry your pants, you have to think about this as allegory!"

ALLEGORIZE!

The Greenosaurus represents the irritability, irrationality (represented by his pink pants), and immense hunger brought on by low blood sugar. Because, the human body's biological response to low blood sugar is to turn you into a cranky, unstoppable food warrior. If we couldn't stabilize our glucose levels, yes, we would all be doing amazing feats of strength, but we would also lose our ability to hug.

The spaghetti monster represents the dual nature of complex carbohydrates. We need good sources of carbs to stave off becoming wiry, unscrupulous, ninjas. But, at the same time, as the waistline of America grows larger and softer and full of processed pork, we have to keep our battlings with giant piles of food in moderation. We can never slay the pasta-beast, only...kinda-slay. semi-slay
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And that's what that's about. If you have an alternative explanation, post it in the comments.

Here's one, in honor of Kai, the homeless hitchhiker.

"If you wanna scarf some loaded nood-uh-lays, that's cool. Just remember to get a sweat slick before you stuff your tubes, 'sall I'm saying."