Bus Demons and Pain on the Wall

I don't have a television in my apartment. So, for entertainment I went to Staples and bought a giant piece of white paper and hung it up on my wall above my couch. And in my free time I just doodle on my wall. I usually draw on it right before I go to bed or right after I wake up so a lot of the doodles have a kind of unsettling creepiness to them.

Like this morning I got out of bed and went over to the wall and drew a giant, weary old man's head with droopy cheeks and wild, thinning hair and sad crinkly eyes.

And then I added bunny ears and buck teeth and whiskers to that. And then I gave him tiny rabbit legs coming out of his chin and little front paws coming out of the sides of his cheeks. And I gave him a little speech bubble that says,

"I want to grow up to be an Iron Chef. But that still won't stop the pain."

See for yourself. I'm not gonna lie about this stuff.

And then I woke up a little more and looked at it and thought, "uh...Andy. That's, uh, that's not quite right." But I still thought it was funny and kind of cool and that, you know, maybe I'm just a little weird.

Then I got on the bus and realized that public transportation in real life is way scarier and demonic than my giant old-man faced bunny creatures.

I get on and it's super crowded so some people have to stand and there's this girl standing right in front of me who yells out to her friend in the back of the bus, "I've never been on public transportation before!" and then the bus starts moving and she almost trips which causes her knees to buckle with laughter as she begins maniacally cackling right in front of my face.

And I'm looking up and her mouth is completely open and full of big, bright white teeth that are jutting out beyond her lips. She's got this huge grin that makes her molars visible and she's laughing and laughing like a demon about to devour a soul-flavored cheeto while she's waving a giant thermos of coffee around.

I just don't understand how never riding a bus can bring out that kind of evil glee. She said, "I've never been on public transportation before!" the way a witch in a horror movie would say, "I've never eaten human before! HAHAHAHA!" right before she flays your body and uses the skin as pie crust.

AND THEN!

Later,

Another guy on the bus was looking around at how crowded it was and goes, "Dude, this is so egregious."

Which is totally not how that word works!
____________________________________________________________

But, to be fair and to try to remain positive...I...uh...most people on the bus were not demons or misusing big words. Yet. We're all horrible people in some moments. Some are just horrible in more moments than others.

_____________________________________________________

Potential Posts to Social Media: See a guy draw on a wall and get scared by a bus! Also: explicit pictures of the rare: Weary Overweight Rabbit Man