Chicken. It's good. I like it.

This guy I work with has made up a story that he tells to kids about this time he got shot in a drive-by shooting. And most of the kids buy it completely. Especially the ones that you can imagine committing crimes in the near future.

But beyond the obvious fun of lying to children, it also kind of says something about the power of storytelling. Like, your taste in stories and what you find interesting says a lot about you as a person even if you don't realize it.

So what I want to do now is a come up with a story for all the future stoner kids. I think I can tell who they're going to be but this is just gonna be that extra push.

I'll come up to them and be like, "Hey, you ever been to the beach with your shirt off?"

And they'll be like, "uh...yeah."

And I'll be like, "One time my friends and I drove to the beach in the middle of the night and when we got to the ocean I didn't say anything-- I took all my clothes off and ran into the waves and jumped in and for a second I was just floating in like the inky black chaos of nothingness until this wave picked me up and slammed me onto the shore. I was lying there coughing up salt water and all I could think about was how every particle of sand that my face had just smashed into could each contain their own complete universe and how in those universes there could be other beaches with billions of particles of sand that each contain their own universe and within those universes there could be another version of me eating nachos with chili and cheese on an airplane on a flight to see the world's biggest sock and maybe when he bit into one of those nachos he sensed that somewhere in a place-- in a completely different plane of reality he sensed a connection to that naked version of himself being pounded by the ocean while his friends just watched and laughed. And then, if you think about it, that kind of interaction is happening all the time. All these universes within universes within universes are bumping and grinding like the sun won't come up in the morning. There are infinite versions of you at any one time playing out your life in an infinite variety of ways. At any one second you could be licking the paint off the wall with your identical twin in your grandparents' basement. You could be flying a kite on a warm spring day and suddenly be crushed by a three hundred pound bearded woman. You could be an Olympic diver about to perform your final dive to secure your Gold medal and projectile vomit in a twirling spiral and become an international sensation, an Olympic legend who raised human waste dispersal to an art form.

And then, if you really think about it, if you really think about the limitless number of potential outcomes, not only are those events likely to happen, they are definitely happening. So once you accept that, then you have to accept that anything you imagine must be reality. So everything in your head is just as real as the world you perceive. Except for the fact that your senses are constantly lying to you. You ever see something that wasn't actually there? Or think you hear your name in a crowd? In fact, the only thing that you can really accept as truth at all, the only thing that you can say with a 100% guarantee is actually happening, are the senseless thoughts and waking dreams that play in your head! And I realized all of that on the beach, naked, and then I put my clothes on

and got some pizza."

Any kid that got excited about that story, I would be their best friend.