It's really simple. You're a little pixel-man who for unknown reasons is following down a large tunnel full of obstacles and jaggedity things that are trying to turn you into a bloody splat.
Seen there^
You can see that in this picture the person is only about 18 seconds into the fall so the obstacles are fairly spread out and you have time to look at each one and see where the holes are and make decisions on how you want to get through.
But after about two minutes of falling, the obstacles get so close together that you can't distinguish one from the other. It becomes an impassable wall of whiteness. If you try to look at everything you need to get through you're going to get completely overloaded and then splat-ified.
So, after playing this game a whole bunch a bunch a bunch a bunch (I mean, I've played this game A LOT), I've realized that the trick is to stop looking at the obstacles altogether. The only thing you focus on is looking for a clear blue spot as far ahead of you as possible and positioning yourself to get there.
Little tiny spots of clear blue in the distance. And none of the rapidly growing walls of death are to be concerned with.
So...that's my Personal-Insight-Based-Off-Vaguely-German-Video-Game-Tip of the year!
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I've become slightly more cavalier in that I no longer break for speed bumps.
IT'S A BIG DEAL, OKAY!?
You know how most people will slow way down for a speed bump and roll over it real nice and slow like it's this delicate thing full of eggs from some endangered bird and if they're awakened the species would be wiped out but also the enraged fetuses would latch on to the underside of your car and burrow into the fuel tank and everything would explode in a giant fireball.
I think, without realizing it, that that is the attitude I had towards speed bumps. But about a month ago I was visiting my friend and she lives in a neighborhood with a lot of speed bumps and we were driving around and...and she rolled right over the speed bump. She just...she didn't break or nothing!
And I didn't say anything but I'm sure my butt cheeks clenched up real tight for a second. It really stuck out to me. I was like, you can...you can just roll right over them? We're all still okay. The car hasn't violently shaken to pieces, fire isn't falling from the sky, how...did....but why...does everyone...
When I'm driving to and from work there's these two speed bumps on the way out and now I never break for them! I just laugh at other people.
"haHA! What are you? AFRAID TO DIE?!"
I'm sitting shirtless in my car, driving with my knees while I eat an entire halibut I've kept warm in the back of my car all day. I've got a pirate hat that I've removed and filled with tartar sauce and black pepper.
It's changed my life, not breaking over speed bumps. Can't let lumps dictate your life!
DOWN WITH LUMPS! UP WITH PEOPLE!
(and yeah, maybe it makes sense to encourage people to slow down in areas that are full of children. IF YOU'RE SOFT! Speed bumps are a clean sign that all of these safety precautions have made the world safe enough for children to focus on their deep and terrible inner-fears. This is only further perpetuating the demand for liberal arts degrees and higher education. If we make the world scarier, kids can focus on important things like REPRODUCTION AND TOILING IN FIELDS!)
DOWN WITH SAFETY! UP WITH TOIL!
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