This morning, as I finished my run, pushed my sister out of the bathroom and hunkered down for an early morning BM (an AM-BM (a BM in the AM)), I was thinking about how summer is a time for relaxing. Summer is a time for leaning back and saying, "You know what? It's not my problem. None of it. None of it, of it all, is in any way my problem. I'm just gonna sit here and look good."
That's what summer should be about. Sitting around and looking good doing it. Spring and Fall aren't for sitting around and looking good. They're times of transition. They're times of movement and preparation. Winter definitely isn't for sitting around. It's about generating heat to stave off the ever growing shadow of Night's icy claw (cept' for Christmas).
But a good summer should be about having a great time doing next to nothing.
Hassle-free.
My go-to image of summer in my head is me next to a body of water just letting the sun melt the Hassles right off me. Big stupid smile on my face. Some punk kid tries to step to me with a hassle and he gets swallowed up by an evil pile of Foam Pool Noodles. I dive into a swimming pool, glide over to the other end, get out, grab an immaculate, white towel and step inside the house through a sliding glass door onto cool white tile and go over to the kitchen to pour another tall glass of pink lemonade while "The Girl from Ipanema" plays in the background.
That moment, that fleeting picturesque moment removed from all other aspects of my life, is the pinnacle of summer. Everything leading up to and everything proceeding that moment is neurotic, stress-filled, achievement-obsessed, noise and chaos. But that brief interval is my faith in the season of Summer. I believe the miracle of Summer is the occurrence of that sequence of events.
For the rest of my life I can know that at some point between the months of June and August I knew how to be cool. I can look at young people later on and yell, "I KNEW HOW TO BE COOL! I WAS FRIGGIN' SAVVY WITHOUT EVEN TRYING, YOU AMATEURS!" Again, the rage there shows how it all fell apart but it still doesn't tarnish that moment.
Anyway, I was thinking about that this morning and then I get to my job surrounded by a whole bunch of kids and people who are not on the same wavelength at all. And I'm standing in half a gym with 45 screaming children trying to play Kickball-Basketball all at once and one of them runs over and yells, "I HATE EVERYTHING!"
And I go, "ok. here's what I want you to do. take your fist, and hold it out, and imagine this is your anger. this is all of your anger. squeeze it tight, then...just let it go. release it from your hand like a delicate butterfly."
And she goes, "I feel a little better. BUT I'M STILL FULL OF HATE!" And then she starts grabbing me and other kids come over and steal my car keys.
And then...later...I got caught in the bathroom by one of my co-workers while I was looking at my calves. Shameful. But it was only for a second and they're the only nice muscles I have!
He goes, "Whatcha doin', Andy?"
Me: UHHHHHHH...
Him: Are you hiding in here?
Me (as I'm quickly walking out): Yeah.
And then I'm in the gym and this girl is balled up on the middle of the floor, sobbing uncontrollably and so I tell her to come over and tell me what's wrong and she's got a yellow jacket in her hand, tears streaming down her face, she can barely speak, face is bright red. She says, "One of the kids threw a ball at it and now it's de-ee--a-ee-ad (she was sobbing over the word dead)." Then she asks if she can take it home so her mom can "identify" it.
I don't want to be insensitive so I say, "Um...sure...but go put it somewhere else and take it with you at the end of the day."
She says, "I'll go put it in a bag." And runs out.
I don't know where she's going to get a bag but about two minutes later, a woman I work with comes into the gym and says, "You're letting them keep dead bees now, Andy?"
And I go, "She was crying!"
Her (laugh-scoffs): Shut up. I made her throw it away.
Me: She was really upset!
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So, I guess what I learned today is...not all dreams come true. Nor should they. Because weird stuff you couldn't even imagine happening is going on all the time. So...enjoy that. And your AM BM.
It'll help you grow...or some crap.
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