Suite Bathroom and a Runny Nose

You heard me. I have

a) a suite bathroom.

b) a runny nose.

What's the deal, Andy?

Be quiet and maybe I'll tell you, gosh!

I was thinking earlier about stuff. Specifically, I was thinking as I was dropping a deuce, arguably the best time to be struck by inspiration, as we all know.

I was thinking about how the way the suite bathroom is set up. It's a bathroom between two rooms. So you open a door from your room and walk in and there's another door leading to the adjacent room. And each door has a little hooky thing that you latch to lock the door and you don't have to worry about people from the other room unexpectedly walking in on you.

THAT'S. CENSORSHIP!

We can't hide from the truth behind little hooky latches. You think a little hooky thing can hide the truth?! You must be up out your head. Little hooky latch. No way!

So what I'm gonna start doing, is sneaking into the bathroom real quiet-like, so the people in the other room don't hear. And I'm just gonna sit there and act like I'm taking a dump, or I could quiet possibly be taking a dump while simultaneously blowing my nose.

Remember that part where I said I had a runny nose? Did you not think that was going to come up again?! Pay attention!

And so they walk in and see me popping a squat with a tissue over my nose, blowing snot, and before they can close the door I yell, "Don't shut that door! This is the real world! This is real life! Look at me!"

And then I quickly lose interest and go back to staring at the tiles on the floor while they're standing there.

Lost in profundity n' stuff.

Yeah!