Exploding Fist of Power

I went to the Career Center today. It was nice. They have high ceilings. Lots of windows. You can sit in there and think, "That's right. While you people outside are going to get lunch. I'm in here. Getting a career! Good luck with your life."

Except, no. The Career Center was not made for me. I need some sort of Dream Center. You take an escalator up to a cloud and there's a pretty blonde lady that's like, "You're beautiful What do you wanna be?"

And I'll be like, "Comedian, please!"

And she'll say, "Oh! That job? I've had that job in the back seat of my car for months. I've been waiting for someone to take it off my hands. I hope you don't mind that it's covered in dog hair."

And I'll say, "Of course I don't mind! I won't even clean it off!"

And she'll say, "Here's food and a house!"

"Yay!"

But that doesn't exist. At least, I think it doesn't. But the nice thing about the actual Career Center is that you can go in there as a stupid Junior and they'll just give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you're an ambitious Freshman.

The lady is like, "Hi, what can I help you with?"

"Weeeeeeell, I wanna be a baker and I wanna make cookies that look like penguins and cupcakes with little hats made out of carrots and I wanna make smoothies that taste like marshmallows and chocolate chips. And I wanna have a bakery that looks like a big happy yellow egg and we'll play the Beegees songs all day long!"

And I might as well have said that. I did ask for an internship that could somehow possible involve humor in some facet and she even laughed a little when she said, "Well, I can show you how to check for internships online but we probably won't find anything that fits that description."

Just one word. "humor". And I don't blame her. I know that's not a "career" you find at the Career Center. That's okay. At least I tried....

"And every Wednesday will be red, white and blue day and if you come in wearing red, white, and blue we'll give you a little crown with jelly beans glued on it and a medium snowcone for the price of a baby snowcone! And all my employees will have funny nicknames like Chuckles, or Princess Fluffbar or Roger. And we'll close from 2 to 3 every day for nap time and on some nights will have movies playing on the projector in the baaaaasemeeeeent. We'll watch movies all night and when it's morning we'll start working again. Smiles!"

So yeah, Operation Bakery is go.