everybody rides the carousel

 One time I said I was going to start remembering my dreams and then I failed to do that because it's really hard but here's something that's not hard: scrolling.

My sister and her husband watch a lot of reels on Instagram and they like a lot of them and I see them and I like to imagine that reels are like a collective unconscious, kind of like a dream state but definitely with more problematic implications, and when they both like a short video of a little plastic figurine sitting in a pot of boiling orange liquid and the camera pans up to a night sky when the sun has just sunk below the horizon and a voiceover says, "Kurapika is now drowning in an indescribable emptiness"--is that not like sharing a dream? Like a little nugget of sight and sound with meaning that words alone could never do justice?

I don't know. I'm here for it anyway. I'm all in!

I've started unofficially coaching my friends at the gym?

It's mostly that we are friends and working out together but then they say, "thanks for coaching me" and that is fun. 

right now my apartment neighbor is blasting house music while he showers and it sounds like he's into it. nice.

No but coaching lifting is fun. Coaching is great because you are present with someone while they work to make a better version of themselves and what's better than that?

look how cute!

 look it!

dramatic plant

she rises. this was a lil spider plant that had been sitting on the vine for too long so I put it in some dirt and it's coming to life. hooray

this crow outside my window is drinking out of a roof puddle while it's fully raining. right on brother

a thing I've been doing is after saying nothing for a long time I'll just say ALRIGHT but in my best attempt at a thick Scottish accent so it's something like, H'OLRHYTE! and that's been a great time

William Blake wrote

Ah! Sun-flower! weary of time, 

Who countest the steps of the Sun:

seeking after that sweet gold clime

Where the travellers journey is done.

Sunflowers, like many plants in the asteraceae family, exhibit heliotropism- which is where they follow the sun's path across the sky. And so you imagine these poet types like William Blake sitting around, waiting, doing nish off in a field somewhere and they watch this flower follow the sun and think, "Aw man sucks to suck, brother." Cuz the sun is always going to go below the horizon. The sunflower will never reach the sun. But, I don't know, is that a bad thing? Like if the sunflower reached the sun it would be vaporized into hydrogen and such. The sunflower gets the light from the sun that it needs by following it so I don't know why it has to be weary. It's a good deal! And some people would argue that this is too simplistic a reading and that Blake is obviously being sarcastic or whatever. I think William Blake is a cool guy for thinking about sunflowers and the sun and maybe we should all think about flowers more or the suns that we might be following OR you could think about moths and how they use the moonlight for navigation and how cool that is. Are you a sunflower-sun kind of person or a moonlight-moth kind of person and what does that even mean? William Blake would probably know. As best I can tell the most famous thing William Blake ever wrote about moths was, and I'm paraphrasing here, "don't ever kill  a moth for the day of retribution is near." Very cool, Mr. Blake. Very cool.

made a new chalkboard drawing at the gym

 I don't have a picture of it so you're just going to have to trust me on that.

I like making stuff when I'm under no obligation to do it because then it means that I did it because I wanted to and for no other reason and that's the best feeling. I also like showing off. And attention. I'm pretty shameless about showing off. Do I think it's a bad trait? No because I do cool stuff that I know people want to see anyway. Duh

This blog is like 20 years old now. I think I probably started it around 2005 or so. And it's never had more than a handful of readers. I think that's fun. It's like an easter egg. Like ' oh yeah if you know where to look that guy has made little scribbles and writings for like most of his life and he posts them on a dinky little website that no one has thought about since Obama was president." Is any of it good? Maybe a little. 

But knowing the kind of person I am if I found a blog like this by someone I knew I'd probably read the whole thing. Or a lot of it anyway. I'd probably skim some stuff.

people out here manifesting the future they want for themselves

 love that

and now it's time for my little sunday evening wegman's grocery run. I love my little sunday evening wegman's grocery run. 

happy march

 you know what they say about March,

"You gotta march through one more month before you get to the first actual good month of the year, April. The month of Andy's birthday."

people say that all the time