Friday, February 21, 2025

this is something I'll never forget

 one time in 5th grade we were learning about when to use 'a' and when to use 'an' and our teacher Ms. Frye was explaining that you use 'a' before a word that starts with a consonant and 'an' before a word that starts with a vowel. and then she said there were exceptions to this rule and she asked if anyone could think of any and the girl I had a crush on immediately said in the most clear and lucid and serious voice

'honor'

And her saying 'honor' with the conviction of like a proud veteran is burned into my head forever. Why did she say it like that? Why was she so quick on the draw???

Anyway, for me the true definition of honor is tied to a tiny 5th grade girl.

Thursday, February 20, 2025

this summer at camp I'm just going to give out quests

 long ago, the four nations of camp lived in peace. The youngers, the younger middles, the older middles, and the olders. Each took turns getting up for lunch and being dismissed for pick up. Until one day a older middle by the name of Bocephus assembled a faction that sought to rule the pool and make it so that you could only play Bad Movie Game and Bad Categories. And what that was was that in Bad Movie Game if you were the cooler you'd just say 'A' and then wait for your friends to go and no matter what they say you just say that was it, even if it doesn't even start with A. That's how bad it was. 

Ancient camp law says that if one group wins every game of Gagaball, every game of tetherball, every game of Elijahball, the Wednesday rotations, AND the Friday games AND you have the most Pokemon cards with the most legendaries and holo-rares you get to rewrite the schedule for the rest of the summer. And so Bocephus and his wicked crew of gremlins, rats, and rascals set about rigging all the games. Which mostly what that looked like was they found a sharp stick and popped all the balls so that no one could play any of the games and then they printed out a bunch of fake cards at home and traded them for all the good cards at camp. One camp named Anti-Bocephus, who funnily enough was not related to Bocephus, realized Bocephus's plan on Friday morning and mounted a desperate attempt to stop him from winning the Friday games but it was too late and a lot of the kids who Anti-Bocephus had hoped would show up on Friday morning didn't because they were too tired from losing everything on Thursday. Anyway, Bocephus was triumphant and that meant that the next week would be spent playing Bad Movie Game and Bad Categories--bad categories is where the category is lame like 'Say something cool' and then if your friend goes then you say whatever they said was cool--even if it's not cool. That's how bad it is. 

6 weeks went by of nothing but Bad Movie Game and Bad Categories. It was shaping up to be the worst summer in history. But then, a group of campers and counselors who were so bored out of their minds that they decided to read discovered an even more ancient set of camp laws that said if someone could assemble a piece of the original gaga pit, a scrap of the original Elijahball, the original tether of the original tetherball, a big bucket of fire ants, a shell from the creek, and 5 boxes of popsicles, then they would be able to throw the bucket of fire ants on the bad guys and then eat the popsicles and the day would be saved. Your mission is to assemble the camp artifacts of lore and end the reign of lameness. 

Wednesday, February 19, 2025

I love Speedy West. I love steel guitar. I hate imperialism.

 Have you wondered where the steel guitar comes from and why hearing it is like someone rubbing your back in a way that nothing else can? Well I can answer one of those questions.

Before Hawaii was a state it was a kingdom with a king and stuff and they hired Spaniards and such to do work and those Spaniards and had guitars and one day a Hawaaian guy named Joseph Kekuku figured out a much cooler way to play guitar by changing the tuning and using a metal object to slide on the strings for chord changes. This was in 1889 and in 1916 recordings of indigenous Hawaiian music outsold all other music genres in the US. 

Did you know in 1993 the US government formally apologized for its role in overthrowing the Hawaiian government a hundred year prior?

John Prine sang,


Then the coal company came with the world's largest shovel

And they tortured the timber and stripped all the land

Well, they dug for their coal till the land was forsaken

Then they wrote it all down as the progress of man.

Tuesday, February 18, 2025

funky february

 I'm really looking forward to spring weather. I'm really really looking forward to summer weather.

Felt a little lackluster this morning looking out my window and seeing another grey 40 degree day. But then I had a good workout and a good meal before coaching. Coaching went well. 

I had fun. I helped others. I made myself a tiny bit better. I ate good food. I made a tiny drawing.

That's pretty good. Where I come from that's pretty good.

I am now accepting applications to be part of my merry band.

Monday, February 17, 2025

I sometimes read a running forum that's trash but I can't help it and today I read a thread titled

 "Will the runners between 2005 and 2015 be forgotten?"

The context here is that in the past 10 years a bunch of advancements in shoe technology have caused a lot of old world records to fall really fast. So this time frame was full of runners who were good but never got to see the benefits of the technology.

But I just think it's a cute question because it's like, "aw babygirl are you having your first existential thoughts????? Are you realizing that you and everyone you've ever known and everyone you will know will one day be forgotten??? Don't despair, sweet prince, that's exactly what gives life meaning and makes it beautiful!"

Sunday, February 16, 2025

"I fear this puppy bowl of oafs is nothing but mere ornamentation."

 a quote by me in the heat of the moment

Also (reacting to Vincent Price and Jack White being 6'4" and 6'2" respectively)

"It's my personal theory that tall people shouldn't be able to have this much personality and be this expressive. This is a privilege reserved for the short AKA god's consolation prize. Anyone over 6' 3" should be sedated and lumbering. Look at Tim Curry. He's 5' 9". The perfect height for Tim Curry to be."

clicking & ticking!

everything is coming up Millhouse!

fingers were STRONG

sun is SHINING

I ran FAST

my truck STARTED

green lights were HIT

feelings AFFIRMED

I'm on a hot streak baby


also a tree branch broke off in the wind and smashed the back window of the car that parks on the other side of the street from my truck so I'm not letting my guard down!!!