Stick Figure Jungle II

April is coming!

From SC

Wanted to draw a table edge from this angle. Also a jet pony.

'You can never out-win NOR out-defeat a jet pony.'

Brand New Dance for 1994

A bearded man and a bald man stand beside each other.

"When we go to the park we see all kinds of fractalligators and crocodillians and he also sometimes brings gum."

trEasure!

A boy in a teddy bear costume enters the secret chamber of the cabin containing the long-lost pirate gold. It is still guarded by the ancient computer man.

"I am the ancient computer warrior man. I hail from Pennsylvania."

Robont

A little bird perches on the finger of a gigantic robot with a flower sprouting out of the top of its head.

"I heard that the man said, 'The people said, 'the girl told us,'The robot looked at the bird and it was just like a tree to the bird. It was a tall, moving, glowing tree.''''"

Candy Mantle

Young Boy explains his experiment- the effects of candy on the Earth's mantle--while Mr. Mutated Squid exacts his revenge.

"Wood could not stop him. Steel could not stop him. Fire, brawn, and love could not stop him. The only thing that could steer the monster from his course was a tastier, stupider prize. Distractions were all we had left."

Rousseau forgot..

Pride comes before the

A billionaire pursues his life's work in a hot air balloon.

"Perhaps, in this moment, the burden of existence had not yet become too great to bear."

Progress

A runner either grows in size or is getting closer to the frame of the paper.

''It is always interesting to see the hideous details of a goal snap into focus.''

Cue Danger Music

A cheerful pencil born with his eraser on top is stalked by his arch nemesis, a ninja, and a triceratops.

''Everyone, even the victim, felt a twinge of pride for playing their part in this grandiose conspiracy.''

Stepheaded

Adapted Stories from Fictional Children

If I had a microphone I would tell everyone what to do. People would listen to me or I would destroy them. I would be very casual and charming. I am good at singing songs, telling stories, maintaining order, and deciding what is best for all. The sky is no boundary. The Earth gently rises to meet my feet. I have a very loud voice and can scream really high.

When I spoke, the sound would spread out from me in waves and it would change things as my voice passed through them. Elephants would be smarter. Flowers would stand up straighter and change colors. The little kids would sit still and there heads would bow and they would quietly apologize for not knowing what they've never been able to know. A heavy weight would chain them to the floor and they would move slowly and seriously. They would know their place and cease to exist as a swirling flurry of petals that has never floated on the air in just this way, they would cease to be the thing the air was invented to carry. My voice would be great and very entertaining for everyone.

Pat Day Say It?

Adapted Stories from Fictional Children

Leprechauns are nefarious. They are tiny people who wear green clothing and like to annoy regular people. Every year on St. Patrick's Day we try to capture the Leprechauns with our Leprechaun Traps. They are crudely built and often made of a shoebox with a hole in it and some string, too. The best Leprechaun Trap will catch the stupidest Leprechaun because the very best trap we can build can only catch the dullest of Leprechauns. When the Leprechaun is caught it must give up its gold. It will try to trick you, though. You must be sure to weaken the Leprechaun by letting it reach near-starvation so that its craftiness is weakened by its low blood sugar. When you get the Leprechaun's gold you must release it immediately. If you continue to hold the Leprechaun after you've taken its gold, a long shadow will be cast over you. It is a shadow so long that you will never see the sun again after a life time of running in darkness.

However, if you let the Leprechaun go and enjoy your riches, you will drink deep the good of the world. You will buy clear water and fresh fruits and loaves and loaves of the brownest bread. You will address the sky and the wind and the sun on the hills and the world will smile for you having picked apart its tiny puzzles.

Bage

Fictionally Adapted by Stories Children

What's that sound? There's a goat and a chicken. What's that rustling? Why is there breathing? Heavily? 

Here now hear the Theory of the Creation of Junk and Stuff.

He lives on apple cores and cardboard. He sings songs that make stray cats plug their ears. He's a scamp and a ruffian and wise wise man. He's a monkey and an alien and an old old boy. Everything you throw away passes through his fingers. He sorts it all in his bottomless can and it travels down to Garbageland. He is the gatekeeper. Everything in Garbageland is useless and dirty and when the people touch the stuff and rub it on their head it becomes clean and sparkly. They take all of the un-trash and load it on to a catapult and vault it into the sky where it exists from the goat's mouth back in the regular world. This cycle goes on forever and ever because the trash is always forgotten about and that powers the magic of the Trash Can Man. When it's all forgotten and uncared for, magic can happen.

Strawberry Peasant Told You!

Fictional Stories by Adapted Children

The dragon is chasing the man and the robot. The dragon can't breathe fire. He can only spit lava because he got an infection when he was a baby. The man and the robot were trying to go in the castle. There is treasure in the castle. All the pigs are full of gold and they sleep in the castle. The castle is full of mud. The strawberry peasant tried to warn the robot and the man.

The strawberry said, "Fear your greatest desires, they are the surest path to ruin, sir." For the strawberry knew that the man craved glorious oblivion above all else. Now the man and the robot are racing alongside the rushing river. The dragon is gnashing at his heels. The robot trips and falls. The man can only curse himself for his body that continues to run. He curses himself for the guts and innards that drive him forward to preserve themselves. Screaming down this narrow path, a long step away from slipping beneath the icy clear water. The strawberry laughs.

2+2=

Adapted Stories By Fictional Children

For my birthday, I'm going to ask for my own Internet connection. Did you know what? If you have the Internet you can listen to a radio station ANYWHERE!

This is just my honest understanding of what the Internet might be: The Internet is accessed from a computer which is a special rectangle that can turn clicks and boredom into pictures and videos. The computer communicates with the box in the corner of my apartment using air magic. The box is plugged into the wall because the man in the van plugged it into there. Inside the wall is wires that lead to boxes of descending size until a tower or a subterranean superhighway is reached. Information in the river flows into tributaries but unlike television we can pick up the information water and pit in our rubber pockets. The Internet is like a magical TV-Book. Or like a gigantic bee-hive that we all contribute to. Computers are like small bald-headed children that can channel the Internet through their forehead. Slowly we are giving all our information to computers so that we don't have to carry it around with us anymore because no one liked it in school when someone knew something that you didn't or when you knew something that no one else understood. Polar bears might somehow be involved with the Internet. They probably aren't but I couldn't tell you with 100% certainty that they aren't involved in some step of it. 

Fuffy Wuffy

Adapted Stories From Fictional Children

Once upon a time, there was the most miserable man in the world. His name was Mr. Andy. One day, a charming young girl asked him for a highlighter from the staff closet and he refused to give it to her because he was evil and could only think of vegetables. When the little girl demanded the highlighter, Mr. Andy started to cry because he is unfit to wield authority over children. The girl punched Mr. Andy until he gave her the highlighter and then she was happy. Later that day, Mr. Andy boiled rocks and wore a mask over the paper bag he kept on his head. He cut a slit in the mask and the bag so he could slide rocks into it but he was too much of a chicken to really eat them so they just slid down his shirt and collected in a wet pile. Truly Mr. Andy is the worst one of all. He is obtuse and when he eats food, the food goes in his stomach and steals nutrients from him and he lets them do it. How does he live with himself?

-this is what I got when I asked for a story in exchange for getting something for a child. It wasn't even this fully-formed. I had to punch it up a lot. Kids...making me do all the work.

Time o' Clocks

Adapted Stories Told To Me By Fictional Children

Sleep

Last night I stayed up until one o' clock. I'm really tired. I had a dream that I was awake. It lasted until I woke up. The clocks changed so it was dark when I opened my eyes. It was dark when I closed my eyes too. I like to sleep on my right side and when I woke up I was on my left side so I rolled over and when I wake up again i was on the roof. The moon is made of cheese. I wanted to sleep but the moon was too bright until the rats ate the glowing cheese. My dad goes to the bathroom every morning at four and wakes me up but this time I was already awake. I stare at myself in the mirror every morning. I watch the mirror watching me as I watch myself looking at me in the mirror. I put water on my face every morning and scream and my mom yells at me.

Rusty

Are we ice cream yet?

Mullet's At!

Story telling. This picture has it.

'Gentlemen, please. There are children present. Destroy them first.'

This happened today

Cool beans!

Robofrosto

Too much!