For snack today we have a pile of puke. Also featuring a medley of eyeballs and baby teeth. Also featuring toenail clippings and a glue stick from 1962. Also featuring a cup of blood (made from concentrate, gluten-free, some pulp). Also featuring rodent bones pulled out of a guy's hand. Also featuring earthworms, nightcrawlers, wormearths, and crawlnighters. The napkin is also available for consumption and made from the recycled remains an ancient redwood we chopped down. Ladies and gentlemen, do not criticize the man behind the glass wall. He is only trying to help you. We promised you snack and you have been given snack. You have not been promised happiness. You have not been promised satisfaction. You have not been promised nutrition, substitutions, or revolutions. You have been promised snack. Snack is optional. This does not mean you have options. Like all things, you only have one option for Snack: accept or decline. Snack will not be recalled. Snack will not be warmed-up. Snack will not be chilled or served with a smile. Ladies and gentlemen, the snack will not crack the glass when thrown. I repeat, the snack will not crack the glass when thrown. You have one option: accept or decline.
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