Blondey Blob

Oh hey, what's up?! I'm a red blood cell. I live in your body and carry oxygen and junk to stuff. Um, when you think about me, it makes you pass out. Which is hilarious. Later dude.

List of Foods I Know How to Prepare

-Kale and Kale chips
-Oatmeal
-Fried Egg
-Cream of Wheat
-Popcorn in a pot
-Fried Potato Slices
-Baked Sweet Potato
-Cereal
-PB&J
-I can put vegetables in a skillet and heat them
-Rice
-Grains
-Noodles
-Pancakes (sorta)
-Smoothies?
-I can make portabello mushroom sandwiches
-the microwave
-bowls
-toast
-bagels
-spinach
-twelve
-hot baskets
-mens deodorant
-odorant
-magic
-pickles

Poem Written On a Bus #1

Hurtling forward in a metal tube of children meat
Do they know they will miss these green trees?
Do they know this lush green corridor
Is enough to make the bowels of grown accountants weep tears and numbers and ink.

The smells will always draw you back
The sweet rot of the park by the stream by I-81 when you'd run at dawn.

What is the power,
What is the strength
What is the growth and loss
Of time spent in transit?

I say it is the waking sleep.

But green ideas sleep furiously in the back of this nauseating jostling rumbling yellow steel cab.
They cannot know they will miss any of this.
And I cannot try to miss it as stretches itself wide and wraps itself across my face and breathes in my nostrils.

Facesucking nature laying its eggs in all of us
Set to burst from the chest years later
In sloppy slurpy lines like these.
Regurgitate
and enjoy.

Armpits smell like prayer

Playing Disc Golf

I wrote that title and now I'm going to write for about 10 to 15 minutes on everything I can think of about disc golf.

I really enjoy disc golf. It takes concentration and skill and fluidity of movement but it's also played at a very leisurely pace. Like golf! But...better.

The drive is my favorite part. You step up and as your moving forward you cross your feet and as you uncross them your body twists and you whip your arm around and fling as hard as you can with your wrist and hopefully you send the disc flying evenly. Then it just sort of hangs in the air and gets smaller and smaller.

But that wasn't very exciting. It's not very exciting. Muscle memory is pretty cool though. And disc golf is all about muscle memory. If your limbs and wrist and fingers aren't moving in concert and doing what they're supposed to be doing then your disc will come out all wonky or fly off in the totally wrong direction and sad times for you abound. But, of course, you can't do it well and think about it at the same time. You just have to keep doing it until it works.

This is boring. I could talk about the flight of the disc. I don't want to but I could. I won't. It's a great activity. You get out in nature. And you're trying to increase your mastery of a completely arbitrary and useless skill.

Arbitrary and useless skills are by far the things most worthy of mastery. Isn't that where all the greatness and glory comes from? By the sheer needlessness of the whole thing?

As Don Quixote once said, "The greatest thing, is to lose one's mind for no reason."

Or something like that.

Delving into the fantasy waters for a second, as a younger boy playing disc golf I can remember my friends and I would always like to imagine the discs as deadly blades that could slice through trees and skulls.

Silliness.

It was supposed to rain today! I think it might start now.

Yee-Haw

Time now for me to tell you about what's been happening in my life.

A whole lot of big stinkin' nothing--that's what!

But that's a good thing. That's definitely a good thing.

I'd like to make something with more continuity. Because, wouldn't that be nice? Hopefully I'll keep using the big-horned sheep. He's fun to draw. And then something will just emerge out of that. Maybe like a mythology-deal.

I'm gonna make a mythology! On accident!

Or not. Things will continue happening regardless. And some sort of theme or message must develop out of that eventually.

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The Knees

The knees are dark and the knees are cold. Shadows play upon on the knobby bones. They make me cringe. I can't help but imagine a hammer smashing those floating bones right off. Knees are mistakes.

But knees bring out the worst thoughts in me. All that flexing and bending and poor lateral strength. Knees are point of weakness.

In another life, I would reinvent the knee. Make it stronger and more durable and violent and grim. Knees would be vengeful. Knees would be obsidian discs spinning and whirring at a righteous speed, cutting and eviscerating indiscriminately. The knee would be the ceaseless march of progress.

The lower leg would be a pedestal and the upper body the globe that Atlas-knee holds up as a curse. We will be the burden to the knee. And the whole course of human history will be man's attempt to understand his inferiority to the all-mighty joint. We can't help but feel that we're just in the way. That the knee has come before us, and will live on long after we perish. It's already made plans to jump this burning ship.

Can you smell the carnage? Can you feel the cartilage?  The fumes are making me dizzy. I'm just gonna squat down and take a breather.

Apple Enormous

I'll think of something to say about this later...

DOES EMERGE IT!

He's a smiling.