Look kids, I'm an amateur scientist. Just like all the great innovators of history I'm just a guy with some crazy ideas and a lot of confidence. And I'm not gonna tell you that I have all the answers at any given moment. But, there's no telling which answer I don't have.
Anyway let's get into it. So if you're dehydrated your blood volume goes down. I'm pretty sure I heard that once. Don't drink water, you have less blood. This would imply that blood is water. Now, here's something else that's even more gonna make you go crazy, I heard tell somewheres else that sweat is filtered blood. And sweat is salty water. So it's like we got water coming in and water going out and at some point it's blood and then it's not. And then only draculas can drink blood and we regular nathans aren't allowed.
If you're anything like me all these different contradictory facts are tying your noggin up in knots and making you ferociously angry. But don't worry. I have the answers that will make everything make sense.
bones?
I think it's bones. I think the water gets to the bones and makes em wet. And then you got little guys working in the bones factory and they say, "hey boss says we gotta make this water into blood by 5!" And they get to it man. I think bones have the technology.
Call it a gunch but I think the blood is coming out of the bones. That's why you need milk. Gunch is gut hunch by the way. Milk makes the bones strong so they can pump out more blood.
Maybe you're saying to yourself, Andy if that's true then why do skeletons in media not leak blood wherever they go. To which I'd say, in the real world the sun doesn't actually wear sunglasses. Maybe all the artists of the world are too afraid of how cool and accurate that would look if animated skeletons were oozing blood. I think that would look great and would help teach the kids.
Anyway thank you for learning with me and stay tuned for next time when I'll explain how your tongue is actually a little animal that you catch in your mouth while you're in the womb and one time I knew this kid who had a cousin who didn't catch their tongue in time and then they were born and the tongue escaped and was running around the hospital. And that kid's name was Eh-Oh.
2 comments:
Dang I was a certified hater and gonna argue your point until you mentioned how the real sun aint got no sunglasses, and it shut me right down. Can't argue against that one.
you know what they say, 'fact follows fiction'
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