I saw someone being pedantic online because someone used "your" when they meant to use "you're" and it made me mad because in speech those are obviously identical and no one ever confuses them in context so where does anyone even get off on pointing that out. And then that made me think about how we are so focused on using language "correctly" and a lot of the weight of communication, in English at least, is put on the speaker. I understand why that's important but I do think it's weird that we don't give nearly the same attention to listening or being able to derive meaning from what someone is communicating. We almost actively dislike it. The best example I can think of is literary analysis. People hate literary analysis. It's just listening! 

I was talking to a friend this week about how when I worked at a therapeutic boarding school, I was so amazed by the people who could take a vague expression of anger or annoyance and say back to the student what they thought they were trying to communicate. It's like the opposite of being a grammarian. Instead of correcting someone when you fully understand what they're saying anyway--it's fleshing out a fully formed thought out of barely anything, out of something the person can't articulate on their own. I just think that's so cool. Like if you ever see anyone do that in person, it's like magic. It automatically makes a situation better. Unlike telling someone they used the wrong verb tense or whatever. That doesn't do anything. Being a human auto-correct doesn't do anything.

I know 'LISTENING' isn't like an exciting call to action or hot topic or whatever but I need to convey--I need you to understand the TRANSCENDENT LEVELS OF LISTENING that are possible. Part of me believes that people can't hide anything. If you really listen to someone--they'll tell you everything about themselves. And I don't mean like asking the right questions or tricking people or whatever although question asking is important, I mean that anything you say or even just how you stand while completely neutral radiates so much information all the time and that people who take the time and have the skill can read that. 

You know what the most annoying group of people to be around is? Groups where no one is listening and everyone is just waiting their turn to say whatever they want to say. Or not even waiting their turn. Just making word noises into a little filth pile that falls to their feet and is trod upon all the live long day.

You know what the coolest group of people to be around is? A group where you'd be terrified to speak because everyone is so attuned to your ways and thoughts that anything you say will lay bare for all to see your inner squishy being--opening your mouth and feeling yourself explode into a ball of light because the barrier between yourself and others has shattered. That would be cool.

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