LEAP DAY AWARDS

 welcome all to the tetra-annual quadrennial awards segment on this blog- THE LEAP DAY AWARDS!

I started this blog on February 2nd, 2007. But then on November 23rd, 2012 I purged most of the posts up to that point (about 400 of them) because they had cursing and I decided I wouldn't use bad words on this blog anymore. Also they weren't very good. Anyway, I say all that to say that there have been FOUR leap days since the beginning but this is the FIRST Leap Day Awards. Wow. Isn't that something.

The Leap Day Awards are meant to highlight the special nature of Leap Day. Leap Day is special because without it, the seasons and the calendar would slowly drift apart and they still are but because of Leap Day it's happening at a slower rate than it would otherwise. So, you know, small gestures can't fix things entirely but they can make a difference. Right? Also, Leap Day reminds us that all systems are arbitrary and if we want to just put another day in the year with some fancy rules then we can. The arbitrary nature of power is also important to remember.

LET'S BEGIN THE AWARDS!

The winner of the 'most posts written for this blog' goes to ME! ANDY! By an overwhelming majority I have contributed the most posts to the blog that I started when I was fifteen years old and I humbly and proudly accept this award from myself.

Our next award goes to chafing! A big part of this leap day was chafing because yesterday I got caught running in the rain and shoo-wee! Let me tell you. I chafed. But we celebrate chafing because it's there to teach us an important lesson. When you have problems that create friction you just keep going because that's not going to stop you from reaching your goals. Pain exists to filter out the weak.

No that's not true. The third award goes to saying things that aren't true. Remember that things you say and do on leap day don't really count. It's a made-up pocket dimension of time that some guy named Luigi Giglio made up towards the end of the 16th century. Also, I read on Wikipedia just now that before leap days, the Romans just used to have February 24th twice and they called both days February 24th. That's awesome.

The fourth award goes to me again for my masterful presentation of awards.

The fifth award goes to anonymous commenters. This blog has seen a resurgence and it is mostly because of anonymous commenters and people telling me they actually read it. Thank you!

The sixth award goes to the trees I saw on JPA today that are blooming. I don't love that trees are blooming in February but then I remember that trees don't know about Leap Days so it's just like March 1st to them. It's important to have empathy and understanding for all things.

The seventh and final award goes to singing songs. Songs are like bread that you never have to stop eating if you don't want to. And when you and another person know the some bread it's like the alignment of the stars.

The eight award goes to the eighth day of the week that coincides with the Leap Day. In a fit of inspiration I've decided that there are two Thursdays on the Leap Week. One is the Thursday that Leap Day happens on and the other is regular Thursday.

The ninth award goes to mental health breaks. Remember that the existence of the 'mental health breaks' is a tacit admission that we live in situations that are incompatible with actual mental health which is bonkers. Make sure to take 'poison gas breaks' from all the poison gas in the air. Pay no mind to how it got there or what function it serves.

We're getting distracted.

The tenth award goes to community. Because for all the ills of society that I love to complain about, the power of connection and community goes a long way towards making life be pretty good at times and so remember that that is the ultimate goal unless you have some cooler goal like winning a million dollars or taming various beasts and fowl. In which case, do that.

Thank you if you've read this far. Tune in in 2028 to see if I remember this bit. Comment every day to remind me to do the 2028 Leap Day awards.

Training Update

 I started training nearly every day with the tension block at the start of the year. The normal routine is two 10 minute sessions with a 10 second pull each hand once per minute. In my last update I said I had stopped doing weighted hangboard training but this month I went back to that, about two to three times per week. If I did a hangboard workout then I wouldn't do block pulls that night.

One thing I noticed was that I'm pretty comfortable on a 20mm edge but it feels like I get disproportionately uncomfortable when the edges get really tiny. This month I went from mostly using the 20mm edge on the block to using the 10mm edge to get my fingers more used to that position. I've also started doing weighted hangs on the 10mm edge on the hangboard and I can hang +25lbs for 5 seconds although I haven't been too aggressive with loading those hangs. With the 20mm edge I've been trying to get more comfortable with adding 24kg (~53lbs). Last session I hung that weight 3 times for about 4 to 5 seconds. I also started doing a max bodyweight hang for time on the 20mm and am up to 30 seconds. My last mini-goal is campusing on the smallest edges on the campus board and I can get up to the 4th rung.

I feel like I'm making steady incremental progress and the challenge is to keep pushing even when it feels like doing a lot of work for a small improvement. My total volume of finger strength training is way up and, like with running, I think it takes months to see a dramatic change. The book Once a Runner talks about the 'trials of miles' and the 'miles of trials'. It's this quasi-mythical experience where if a runner can learn to endure the daily grind of training and be able to exist in that space of steady work every single day then they fundamentally change as a person. It's like when you reach a certain level of fatigue your body and mind face this question of 'if you continue doing this, you won't have a normal existence anymore.'

It's all very dramatic and if you brought it up in regular conversation you'd probably look like a dork but I think there's a nugget of truth to it and I think it's something you can tell about a person. 

Ken Kesey said, "you're either on the bus or you're off the bus."

Anyway, rapid fire updates:

-my calves are destroyed because I ran a track mile in spikes on Sunday. 4:57! the dream is still alive

-I had a great run out at Keene. 7.2 miles at 5:36 pace with an opening 5:21 mile! shoo-wee!

-my coffee machine broke this morning but I have a french press so it's good

-I benched 135lbs for 5 sets of 5 last week and was happy about that

-I'd like to be able to do 3 sets of 3 pull-ups with 70lbs. Lately I've been doing two sets of 3 with 58lbs and then my 3rd set I go up to 68 and do 2. Kinda close-ish.

Final Thoughts: stay tuned for the summer because we're going back to SQUARE NUMERO UNO! TRANSFORMATION!!

ways to differentiate people with the same first name and my thoughts on the various methods

 #1- Last Initial. Example: Tony P and Tony M. 

    This one is fine I guess. It's objective and treats both people equally. Sometimes a first name and a last initial can have a good ring to it. I'd say this one is the middle-of-the-road standard. Uninspired but not the worst.

#2- Big and Little. Example: Big Calvin and Little Calvin

    This one is better. It says, "Hey one of you is this size and one of you is this size and DON'T YOU FORGET IT!" Other people can also easily understand who each one is. Anytime you create or highlight a power difference is funny. And people are like 'What? It's fine. It's just a name." Like a name isn't one of the most fundamental qualities of a person. Good stuff.

#3- Version Numbers. Example: Alex 2.0 and Alex 3.0

    We did this on my running club in college. One guy joined and his name was Alex so we called him Alex. And then another Alex joined so we immediately started calling him 2.0. Pronounced "two-point-oh". And then first Alex quit after less than a year and we went on calling 2.0 2.0 forever. I think having a number for a name is cool. 

#4- Titles. Example: Chris the Counselor, Chris the Boyfriend, Chris the Lady, Chris the Chef.

    I worked at a summer camp where every other person was named Chris and this is what we did. Chris the Lady was the best one. This process feels kinda medieval and is probably how last names were invented or something.

#5- One time during my freshman orientation so like my first day of college kinda everyone in our hall sat in a big circle and we went around introducing ourselves and we had to say our name and an adjective that started with the same letter as our name and there was some white guy named Ryan and no one remembers what his adjective was and there was also a korean guy named Ryan but he wasn't at this meeting because he was at a verizon store or something trying to get a new phone and so his roommate who was also korean went for him and introduced him as 'asian ryan' and that's what he called that guy for the rest of the year.

I think that's all of them. The only other one I can think of is Epithets. Like Mark "Raider of Cities" and Mark "Curse of the Sewer".

Sewers are cool. I feel like they have a lot of power because ooooo it's some subterranean ecosystem full of darkness and waste and lurking and shadows. But that's what makes the above ground world so palatable and clean and so you think about the shadow self and stuff. Also stinky poo poo pee pee.

the blueberries in yogurt

the blueberries in yogurt

in a black bowl by my side

look like the universe

if the universe was arranged

by a nine year old

who only like the blue planet earth

and glue

mostly glue

when I say

"the blue in the glue"

that's what I mean

blueberries in yogurt

but also

this is my Theogony

HEAR ME OUT

one day---monday

two day---tuesday

three day--- WEDNESDAY???????

four day---thoursday

five day---friday

six and seven day---saturday and sunday

Make wednesday into trisday. Make thursday into forsday. And make friday into friveday.

every once in a while I stop and think about the implications of nancy gribble yelling "why sug?!" to god

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4VDpJegh2U

something about the little habits and rituals of the everyday becoming holier than holy through simple repetition. something like that

Look at this dude

 

I knew this guy in college who was really loud and would lie a lot and I always got the impression that he was so terrified of being honest that he put on this obnoxious front-- which made it really obvious to tell what he was actually thinking and feeling.

Sometimes if I wake up feeling tired I don't drink coffee. I don't know why. Maybe to really wallow in my tiredness. All I know is every time I try it, by 3pm I really regret not drinking coffee.

the ebbs and flows

 Snacks, my ganglion cyst, is finally waning. I woke up this morning and he was looking real small.

And then the craziest thing is on Saturday I got to the checkout and realized I hadn't picked up any oranges so I ran over to the produce section and grabbed the first bag I saw. Yesterday I started eating the first one and these oranges are PURPLE inside!

Purple oranges?! Can you believe it?

It's enough to summon strange and powerful words such as SUNDRY and even more cryptic and esoteric--a shadowy beast cloaked in shrouds of mystery and stench:

FARRAGINOUS!!

A figure so rare and obscure that a red squiggly line appears below it though it be spelled correctly. 

sometimes I love being loud

and sometimes I love being quiet

and sometimes I love being a quiet person who is mad at loud people

and sometimes I love being a loud person who doesn't care about quiet people

and so the question "who are you?" or the question "who am I?"

is rendered null by the obvious multiplicity of self.

And now we arrive at the powerful and majestic and brimming question:

WHAT

IS 

MY

RANGE?

WHAT

IS

MY

DEPTH?

It's not some check-ed box. It's not some archetype. It's not some series of letters and numbers.

It's a vast old growth forest with fallen ancient logs that bugs and vermin writhe and wriggle under.

It's a system of caverns and tunnels with huge halls and endless narrow passageways that you could explore limited only by the strength of your spirit and imagination.

It's an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of rubbish imaginable AND 

That he is joy, awake, aglow,

The tumult of the heart to hear

Through pureness filter’d crystal-clear,

And know the pleasure sprinkled bright

By simple singing of delight,

If you can know that about yourself or anyone else then you've really gotten somewhere. You've really done something. 

Hold two opposing truths in your hands high over your head like shining golden spheres and say

LOOK AT THIS

LOOK AT THIS

LOOK AT THIS

LOOK AT THIS

LOOK AT THIS

LOOK AT THIS

LOOK AT THIS

LOOK AT THIS

bought a personalized license plate today

now my car will say SHMANDY on it

best 74 bucks I ever spent!

11, 12, and 13 are a great trio of numbers

 I think maybe the best trio of numbers. You might think one, two, three. That's an undeniably classic team. Tough to beat. But hear me out.

Eleven is a prime number. Eleven is the first three syllable number. Eleven, along with twelve, are the only multi-digit numbers (not containing 0) that have unique names. Every other number past twelve has parts that make it up. twenty-one. three million nine hundred eighty six thousand two hundred forty eight. 

Twelve, in contrast to eleven, is something called a superior highly composite number which I don't really know what that means but the contrast is obvious. AND twelve is the highest one syllable number. Twelve is also the base of time which I guess is why it gets to be twelve and not one-y two.

Finally thirteen! Thirteen is a TWIN PRIME with eleven. Do you see the synergy with these guys?! The way they highlight each others strengths and eliminate any and all weaknesses. Thirteen is also called a baker's dozen. Thirteen is full of significance.

Give me a better trio of natural sequential numbers. You can't. 11, 12, and 13 are just the improved final versions of one two and three. Everything after is derivative. Everything before them has unrealized potential.

what I think part 2

 I woke up and accidentally sprayed my baby spider plant with fabric deodorizer instead of water because the water sprayer and the deodorizer sprayer were right next to each other and the same height and nozzle oh no!

But I think the plant is fine and I still had a great run anyway!

here's what I think!

 here's what I deep down truly believe all the way in my heart of hearts.

The part of me or the thing that I am part of that is taking care of all these lil plants in my apartment is the same thing that's taking care of me and it's DOING A GOOD JOB.

anyway tomorrow I'm going to go out to keene and rip a 7 mile run fast style.

I just like painting magnets

I bought 100 magnetic strips that you can write and paint on for 15 dollars and I've been painting and writing on em and it's a jolly good time

they say ask yourself twelve questions to discover your purpose in life

ask these twelve questions to yourself and find out what it is you were meant to do.

millions of people have been trying this short simple quiz to give direction to their life.

it has never been easier to understand your place in the universe with this life hack.

question 1: when haves you not beent into the under delivery of the raised has it not when you just finding if can?

questions 2 through 5: it wount same obvious if they you for real to get that if then over maech green.

womble hectang ingotted bleraph minetto hish somteruni glaf. pergo onite hud. grasp both hands in a backwards facing manner to reduce risk of injury or death. if it is not--then it never can be. if it has-it has already won. 

the greatsest joy is a hot meal

the cautionary tale of west coast bill

 Once upon a time there was a mean mean very mean man named West Coast Bill. He was the meanest on the whole coast and he was even meaner than East Coast Bill who seemed nice by comparison. 

West Coast Bill woke up and threw his beans out the window and howled, "I hate beans!" And the beans splattered onto a bean pile that was nearly as high as Bill's third story window because he did this every morning. Having not eaten anything for breakfast, his glucose levels were low as they always were and it made him particularly grumpy and irritable. 

"Time to walk these streets!" he shouted at himself in the mirror as he ripped out a single toothbrush bristle and jammed it into the gum above his left incisor. "Ahh! I hate brushing my teeth because I always do it wrong!" 

West Coast Bill had a voice like an old gravel road covered in rusty barbwire.

The first thing West Coast Bill encountered on his walk was a line of ants carrying away tiny bits of the foundation of the building West Coast Bill lived in so that it might one day collapse and force him to move.

"Tiny Ants! You are small and insignificant! You'll never put me out of a home! The day you almost cause my foundation to fail, I'll just mix some concrete and in a few hours I'll undo the generations of work you've put into this! HA HA HA!" He laughed a horrible laugh that made his own ears bleed.

"Mr. West Coast Bill you're awfully mean." A tiny ant protested. "And you may get away with being mean to us but I doubt you'll find it so easy to be mean to a much larger animal like a slug or a crocodile!"

West Coast Bill was almost too stunned to speak. No one had ever challenged him before. But then he realized that the ant's challenge only spurned him to be even meaner.

"So says you, puny ant! I'll find a slug and a crocodile and be mean to both of them at the same time!"

And West Coast Bill marched his way over to the boggy swamp and started kicking over rocks in his steel-toed boots that said MENACE on the sole and and on the shoelaces there were frowny faces. He kicked over thirty stones before even bothering to look for a slug and then twenty more until he found one.

"STEP ONE OF MY PLAN COMPLETE!" West Coast Bill was nothing if not systematic in his campaign of malice.

Because crocodiles were not in season, West Coast Bill had to settle for a caiman instead and he placed the slug atop the caiman's head and began to preen and pose in a most obnoxious fashion.

"HAHA! In a standing up contest it looks like the two of you don't have a LEG to stand on!" said West Coast Bill, pointing and laughing at the pair.

"I have legs! More legs than you!" shouted the caiman. But then the caiman heard the muffled sniffles and weak cries of the slug who did not have any legs and could not stand up tall no matter how hard they tried. And the caiman was moved by a deep sense of inherent animal empathy and could not muster the strength to maim and dismember West Coast Bill.

And West Coast Bill marched away with an angry song in his heart and did not learn any lessons that day which was the most terrifying part.

And so try to never let yourself become so awful that people won't even bother to correct you because then you will truly be trapped in a prison of your own design.

obsessed with this album called 'dang' by eola

 this album right here

sweet sweet beautiful music

bottomless pit

 lately I have a really hard time feeling full. I'll eat a lot a lot and still feel hungry. If I make a whole meal and then eat a bowl of cereal and snack but I'm still hungry--it's hard to keep eating!I think it's a good thing though. I think it means the body is...uh...doin' stuff.

i am the rocky top nightcrawler

 i crawls in the nights

the dog who dropped substance for shadow

 Marianne Moore said

Everyone is self-deceived:

Of all the fooled, agog to catch a phantom,

The number if you knew it would never be believed;

It is a permanent conundrum.

-------------------------------------------------

agog means very curious to hear or see something!

There's a second part too about a dog seeing its reflection in the water and dropping the bone in its mouth for the bone it sees in the water but I like this opening part the best.

bad poety

I bet Shakespeare

was never left on read

or was he?

bad poety

 I hurger

for burger

bad poety

 the silence was deafening

but not as deafening

as loudness

my car insurance went up like $100 per 6 months for no reason

 I've been nothing if not an impeccable driver.

This is me giving myself the strength to call Progressive and say

"No no no! Wrong wrong wrong! Number go down! Why must I give you more money?! What have you done with the thousands of dollars I've already given you??? Is this how you reward your best and brightest sons, Progressive?!"

Or something like that. Part of me just wants to pay it so it will go away and I won't have to go through the hassle of calling them or getting different insurance. But then they'll just keep raising the rates. Ugh.

It'd be great if we had good public transportation and lived in communities that weren't car-dependent :/

howler bees

 likes bees but loud. like if instead of it was buzz but it was scream. instead of it was honey then it was loud juice. and but they didn't have hive they just had yell palace. But not queen anymore because howler so instead they have screaming females.

screaming females

crazy legs power

 the 10 miler is about 5 or 6 weeks out. For the past year and a half I've focused on workouts where the main goal is being in control. Try to run 4 to 8 miles at a hard effort with minimal rest and not overextend myself. But it is now time. It is now time to run HARD-HARD. 

Building the anaerobic capacity. Going to the well. Dropping the hammer. Communing with the spirit world. Breaking your legs. Kicking out the jams. Straining the rigatoni. Putting 10 gallons of crap in a 5 gallon hat. Breaking the 3rd wall. Punching the E-ticket. Crambling ventures.

Some of those I made up. But I'm hyping myself up to go to a neighborhood 2 miles from where I live and running this parabola of a road 6 times really hard. The goal is to make it hurt.

just found out that salt doesn't have ANY calories

 that's crazy. a tasty rock? NO CALORIES?! Not even a one?! A rock made of air?

You're telling me if I ate a mountain of salt that I'd die of STARVATION?!

Every day I uncover new secrets in the realm and that is enough to go on.

treatise on being a chopped delight

 Any discussion on being a chopped delight has to begin with Wordsworth's definition of the term which he coined on his death bed in 1850

"Far be it from me to separate out the good from the bad, the easy from the difficult, the chopped delights from the silky swirly puddles of goo."

Wordsworth points us in the direction of chopped delights being dry, uniform in appearance and above all else, not a puddle of goo. Perhaps rough in texture? Wordsworth's loved ones cried out in desperation, "Tell us more! Tell us more about the chopped delights! Why did you wait until now?!" They shook him violently and slapped him repeatedly and then more for fun but the wry grin he set on his face as he shuffled off his mortal coil was all that responded.

Are chopped delights just a bit of japery on Wordsworth's part? A known rapscallion. No. Because when we examine the relationship of pi and e and the area under the curve we find with perfect mathematical beauty the succulent image of the chopped delight. Perhaps the very underpinnings of the universe wriggle and bounce on a vibrating mat of chopped delights. Like an old worn pillow covered in animal hair. 

And when in the course of human events the chopped delight rears its head once more in the chosen scion of a given generation, the people of the world howl and froth and swoon with the kind of mad languishing that only a miracle or a crusty baby on the edge of a dinghy holding an oil lamp and peering into the fog of the future can muster.

It is without a doubt full tilt. Many have tried to argue that the chopped delight is a passing fad or a figment of mass hallucination and they've been shouted down and clustered with wounds by the righteous and the gentle and the wanting-to-hurt someone crowd. Everywhere we look we see the chopped delight. In magazines and zines and limousines and lean cuisines and byzantines and submarines and well-oiled machines we seen a deen that can't be breen. 

It's all true, folks. I'll tell you as many times as I need to say it and a dozen more after that because I'm plum dunked on the voracious news. Choppy D's was, is, and always will be the Times New Roman of the mythical aether of yore.

I cleaned out the 4 empty jelly jars that I'd been keeping in my fridge

 That makes it seem like I have a gross fridge. I don't. I have a spacious fridge because when I buy groceries my fridge looks reasonably full and by the end of the week it looks pretty empty. 

But I cleaned the jars and now I have four clean jars in my cabinet. Which already had like 5 other clean jars.

I love jars. Glass is pretty incredible. I remember whenever we went on field trips in elementary and middle school they would also have on the form NO GLASS CONTAINERS. 

Which is anti-glass propaganda. I'm going to start a center for the promotion of glass. It'll be called 

GLASSIC HITS

2024 finger strength training one month update

 For Christmas I got a Tension Block and twice a day every day I set a 10 minute timer and every minute on the minute I pull on a 20mm or 10mm edge with one hand for 10 seconds. And then I wait 5 seconds to switch hands and pull for 10 seconds with the other hand and rest until the next minute.

I had been doing some weighted hangboard training as well but pretty soon after starting this routine I stopped doing that and just climbed three times a week.

If I'm feeling good I'll pull pretty hard but if I'm feeling sore or tired I'll treat them more like a stretch or slow warm-up. 

A little over one month in I'd say I've seen a small but noticeable in finger strength. It hasn't completely transformed my climbing but I'll definitely keep doing it.

An interesting thing that happened today was that I decided to take Thursday completely off and not do any pulls nor any pulls Friday morning before climbing this afternoon. I felt tired on Wednesday and thought it might be a good time to take a break and seeing what some rest would do. I thought maybe I would see a big increase like I do when I take a total rest day before a workout or a race.

Results were good but a little underwhelming. On Wednesday I had four climbs that I knew I could do but couldn't quite finish. Today I finished three of them so clearly it didn't hurt. The underwhelming part was that, somewhat surprisingly, my fingers felt the most tweaky and injury prone in a long while. There wasn't any pain but there were some twinges and weird things happening and up until today I'd experienced no pain or weirdness whatsoever. There was also a climb that I've been working the longest on that I really expected to get and I kinda went backwards on it a little. My legs are also tired so that might have been a factor as well. 

Conclusion: keep doing the pulls. A day of total rest doesn't seem to have a huge positive impact. Maybe try only doing one session instead of two or zero. Also, take the time to warm better if for some reason I have been resting.

Lately I feel like my fingers need very little warm-up. I feel like they never get too cold if I'm doing this twice a day.

Mostly I'm just having fun with my franz tho

guy who is somehow only deaf and blind to laughter

 "WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?!"

I am not afraid of my senses

 People at the gym ask me to smell things and then they're surprised when I take a BIG WHIFF. Socks. Shoes. Whatever. I'm not here on this finite green earth to go half hog. In my book there's only one hog size and it's WHOLE.

The big sniffin hog gets the truffles. That's all I gotta say.