Saw Grandpa Dave today. It was nice. He has a new home just outside of Charlottesville that he just moved into. I was a little nervous about it because we haven't talked very much since I've graduated from college.
I think there's been tension for a while because from a very young age I can remember a lot of conversations with him centered around certain things I should do and certain jobs that I should have and a lot of times those suggestions weren't things that I actually wanted to do. And I think it was his way of offering guidance and support and they were never unreasonable things, just things like, "you should be a lawyer" or "you should be a journalist if you like writing". But it kinda felt like there was pressure and I knew I didn't really want to do those things. And then when I finally figured out what I wanted to do and who I wanted to become then I felt like we stopped talking. So I don't know. I guess I felt like I let him down. But at the same time, those are my decisions to make and I'm not going to feel bad for not doing what someone else wants me to do.
But it was nice to visit his house and be in the same room as him. It was nice to be around an actual person and not be thinking about this idea of what the relationship was that I'd built up. It'd be nice to have a good relationship with him.
No comments:
Post a Comment