chicken wing chicken wing

hot dog and bologna 

chicken and macaroni

chilling with my homies

some beautiful rock

Drove out to a rock that is apparently climbable. Stronger folks than I.

I love Wednesdays because they're like a little weekend in the middle of my week. 

went on an adventure today

there's nothing more freeing than moving around outside

on my 30th birthday

I feel wealthy. I have all that I need.

my first statement as a 30 years old

 Junie B Jones books are awesome.

windy day today

we have some kites in a closet at afterschool that we never use and it was very windy today and my coworker suggested we have the kids try them. 

kite flying is extremely underrated. it's a fantastic past time. it truly is. I hate the wind. Kite flying makes me not hate it. 

I tried to explain to the kids how to do it and almost none of them got it and gave up. One girl stuck around and figured it out and that was pretty awesome. 

I'm going to do more kite flying this spring. 

two bluejays in the yard

pecking the world apart

crashing squealing squawking swooping

chaos raining corvid party

two bluejays in the yard

weren't trying very hard

til a big commotion riled em

feather plucked love struck fracas riot

Thoughts from the Weekend

 - thinking about Paw Paw and missing him. I would tell him that I'm doing well and I'm thankful for him.

-thinking about this kid in afterschool who one of my coworkers casually remarked, "he needs to be medicated". And she's not wrong. In the school environment he is in, he absolutely would do better with medication. It was really easy for me to agree with him in that moment. Yeah, he should be medicated. His behaviors are really frustrating at times. At the same time, why is it okay to medicate a child to make them fall in line with a completely made-up, arbitrary system? It's messed up. This kid has talents and abilities and things that make him unique and he gets medicated so he can fit into this system that I think everyone agrees to some extent is flawed. Why not make changes? 

-I ran 200 meters in under 28 seconds yesterday! I ran 27.64. That's been a goal for a while so I'm really happy about that. I should go run now.

I finished a drawing I'm pretty happy with

 

stoop sit

A man just drove by in a very large truck. 

I think I've been growing a daffodil or some kind of bulb plant in a pot for the past 6 months. 

People with plants should have plant playdates.

I hate the phrase play date.

The man with the truck is loudly throwing lawn chairs from the back of his truck into a large empty dumpster. 

The colors of spring really are a sight to behold. 

The other day at afterschool we were coloring and a boy said, 

"Mr. Andy who's the best colorer here?"

And I said, "Well, Cam, you probably want me to say you are, don't you?"

And he paused and said quietly "... yeah"

So I told him he's the best kindergarten colorer I've ever seen. There's some big egos about coloring at our afterschool and I didn't want to cause a scandal. 

I'm watching a woodpecker outside on a tree

 the tree is dead

the woodpecker is looking for a good spot

it climbed all the way to the top of the dead tree and called twice and then flew away

yesterday some kids in the woods started peeling bark off a tree. I'm not sure how they peeled so much bark off. It was coming off pretty easily. I told them to stop and that it was bad for the tree and they stopped. I feel bad for the tree. I feel bad that I exposed to the tree to the threat of children. 

I tell myself that maybe they didn't know that would hurt the tree. And maybe they learned that they shouldn't do that because they had that experience. I think we always have to hold the big picture in mind and not focus too much on individual actions that feel more personal and potent in our minds. Ecosystems aren't exactly being threatened by the actions of rowdy children. Maybe if these kids are exposed to the woods at a young age and have some good memories of being in there, they'll grow up to be the kinds of people who appreciate having those spaces. 

I'm really enjoying the colors of spring this year. I feel like I'm really noticing.

I should go work on the book for a bit

that would be a responsible thing to do. 

I don't feel much pressure

I like knowing who I am

I've got poison ivy

today I brought the kids outside

and I had just given them a big speech about how we would do orderly transitions and not be chaotic

and I round a corner and a boy is walking away from a tree and he sees me and goes

"oh! tell everyone to watch out! we just released a wolf spider. tell them to stay away. "

And he immediately goes back to the tree and points directly at the wolf spider we were all supposed to avoid. 

So now all the kids are crowded around and I say

"hey if you didn't want us to bother this spider why are you showing us where it is??"

kids be like that. 

I can't wait for the summer

I'm glad for about 6 months of warmer weather. 

people say magic is the power of your personality to influence the world around you. I think that's true. 

I love camp

I'm loving this spring break camp and I wish it could go right into summer. It's just a better way to live life. 

Happy to be alive and be doing this. 

somebody outside is working

it's 4:35 AM

they're using some kind of impact wrench

DRILL clink DRILL clink DRILL clink 

i wonder what they're doing

i wonder when they woke up today

the pollen in the air has stuffed up my nostrils

a some vehicle on the train tracks outside my window has whirred to life

the body is wild

in the span of 48 hours to go from being in great shape, to struggling to get out of bed, to being able to run 5 miles comfortably is pretty crazy.

scab on my mole

yesterday I wore the pajamas I slept in Friday night but today I woke up and changed clothes and noticed a small scab on the large mole I've always had near my belly button. I must have scraped it when I was climbing on Friday and not noticed until now. But I made the mistake of googling "scab on mole" and all the results were CANCER. 

But I looked at the pictures and my mole is definitely a healthy mole and it's not like the whole thing has scabbed over. it's definitely just a scrape from climbing. 

So, after recovering from the vaccine, that's my health scare for the day. 

the second moderna shot

messed me up!

I haven't felt this bad in years. what a trip. glad I timed it well over the weekend at least. 

reminder to myself

have a sense of purpose and be the best version of myself that I can be