big tired

Yesterday was big intensity and a big lift. Then several miles of kayaking in the morning. I never stop. But I am slowed. And today I was slow. Tomorrow will be very easy in anticipation for Friday.

Fatigue definitely ebs and flows. I'm going really hard on my hard days. It might be time to really cut my mileage and try to get really fast. We'll see.

Two main thoughts today:

It's not anyone's job to convince you why they feel the way they do about you.

corollary 

People don't remember what you said or what you did,  they remember how you made them feel.

also

beyond tired is a vastness of energy

solid work

24 minutes of 90s seconds fast/ 30 seconds easy. Covered about 4 miles. There was lightning but it was chill and not insanely hot.

Then I climbed and lifted. I'm trying to get good at lifting heavy things. Strong.

I can't guarantee that the 4:45 mile on Friday might feel easy. But it might feel easy. 

Trails are for Free

Another excellent run thanks to a solid warm up. Don't know why I was toiling for so long on dead legs when I could have taken a few minutes to get them loose and work on speed.

Tomorrow I think I'll do 25 minutes of 90 seconds fast, 30 seconds moderate after climbing and lifting. And then Friday I'll run a 4:45 1600.

I found 2 good knots in my right calf just now. Massage is something I could be more on top of.

I've been stacking up a bunch of good days for months now. And with the heat and I'm banking so much fitness when it cools down.

I'll end by saying I had a moment on the trails today where I felt truly truly free. Those are good moments.

goober 

Golden Age of Running Vlogs

There's an explosion of running youtubers right now. Particularly in Boulder, CO. And I have been absorbing all of the videos. It's been good motivation.

Yesterday was another great long run. 16 miles with 2x 4 miles at around 5:48 pace. I feel really strong and confident in those. Then I had a good lift in the evening. I'm focusing on higher weight and lower reps for leg strengthing. Deadlifts, squats, single leg squat-lunges, glute bridges, etc.

I saw an interesting video about how the soleus, around the calf muscle, is a huge part of force generation during the push off phase of running. I haven't targeted that muscle in lifting but for years my calves and specifically the soleus have been sore. So that's likely a weakness I can address. Also I think I lack power in general, relative to aerobic fitness. So this could have double benefits of being less sore and also faster.

Today was an easy run. I did a short jog to a nice grass field that's going unused due to COVID but is not locked. One of the pretty obvious realizations I had is that I should do warm up stretches and drills early in every run, not just hard efforts. On easy days I'll save that stuff for the end but often that means I do the whole run feeling stiff and trashy and with poor range of motion. Today would've been one of those days if I hadn't stretched and done strides and drills early.

It's probably a hold over from college when I could seemingly go out the door and start feeling good on any given day. Warm ups were optional. Those days seem to be past. But when I'm on, I'm as good as I've ever been. Excited to see what strengthening my calves can do for me and also continuing to develop speed while also getting in high quality long runs. 

I'll try to do daily check ins more often.

you're doing good, alex

believe in myself

I think I spend most of all the time in 80+ and 90+ temperatures. And I'm doing good training in it. I think really good things are going to happen in running in the Fall.

poor man's altitude

in the truck

I had an amazing evening drive today in my truck. I went over to camp to drop off some art supplies for tomorrow. The radio was playing good music, the sky magnificent, and I thought of Pa Pa and how he had driven in that same truck. Good moment.

being 12

"I just wanted to observe a toad but all I could hear was the F word.

draws

Mindset

I think part of my identity and thinking about the narrative of my life for the past two years or so has been that I'm waiting for things to happen. I've probably already talked about this several times on here but I've been thinking about it again so here you go. 

Around 2018 I started to think that it was only a (short) amount of time until I accomplished some goals that I had like becoming a supervisor at afterschool or becoming a director at a camp or other things like being in a long-term relationship. I was thinking that I was ready for those things to happen and I was doing the right things for them to happen and I just needed to be patient and wait for the opportunity which I thought would be just around the corner. 

I still think that's mostly true but it also led to a lot of feeling a bit down about myself. I wasn't giving value to what I was capable of doing in that moment. I was focusing on things that I felt like should happen soon and then when they weren't happening I'd spend too much time in my own head. 

Lately I've felt more satisfied with myself and what I'm trying to accomplish. A big part of that was going home to Harrisonburg and not really working and focusing on myself. Also dating a little and deciding that that's not something that I really want to invest too much energy in right now. I'm doing some of the best training that I've ever done--coming up on a year of consistent running. I'm leading an adventure day camp that takes up a ton of time and energy where I get to go out in the area and explore with cool co-counselors and cool kids. And I sleep really well at night and I'm getting paid. This week I was thinking a lot about how cool it is that this is what I get to do with my day. As a job. 

It's a matter of conviction. Saying, "this is what I do to be the best that I can be." Instead of, "this what I do while I'm waiting for my real life to start." It's happening already. Right now. This is it.

what an amazing day to be alive

river boi